Therapist, educator, author and consultant combine concepts, principles, and philosophy with practical techniques and guidelines for effective and productive results. A Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (licensed 1994), his experiences include:
Psychotherapist: individual, child and teen, couples, and family therapy in private practice in San Leandro, California- specialties include challenging couples, difficult teenagers, Aspergers Syndrome, Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, learning disabilities, cross and multi-cultural issues, foster children, child development, parenting, and personality disorders;
Author: twenty-one project/books on couples therapy for a doctoral program, including substantial work on major complications in couples and couples therapy (including depression, anxiety, domestic violence, personality disorders, addiction, and affairs); articles for the Journal of the California Association of Marriage & Family Therapist (CAMFT) on working with teenagers, elder care issues affecting family dynamics, and assessing dangerous clients, online courses for the National Association of Social Workers- California chapter (NASW-CA) on child abuse prevention, legal and ethical vulnerabilities for professionals, and difficult children, “Difficult Behavior in Early Childhood, Positive Discipline for PreK-3 Classrooms and Beyond” (Corwin Press, 2006), “The One-Minute Temper Tantrum Solution” (Corwin Press, 2008), and “Getting Beyond Bullying and Exclusion, PreK-5, Empowering Children in Inclusive Classrooms,” (Corwin Press, 2009); Asian Pacific Islander Parent Education Support (APIPES) curriculum for the City of San Francisco Department of Human Services (1996), 4th-6th Grade Social Science Reader, Asian-American History, Berkeley Unified School District, Berkeley, CA, (1977), and trainer/speaker of 20 dvds on child development and behavior for Fixed Earth Films, and in another time and career three arts and crafts books for children: two with Symbiosis Press (1985 &1987) and one with Price, Sloan, and Stern (1986);
Consultant and trainer: for social services programs working with youth and young adults, Asian-American community mental health, Severe Emotional Disturbance (SED) school programs, therapeutic, social support, and vocational programs for at risk youth, welfare to work programs, Head Start organizations, early childhood education programs and conferences, public, private, and parochial schools and organizations,
Clinical supervisor: for therapists in Severe Emotional Disturbance (SED) school programs, child and family therapists in a community counseling agency, Veteran Affairs in-patient clinician working with PTSD and dual diagnoses, foster care services manager for a school district, manager/supervisor for the Trevor Project-San Francisco, and therapists in a high school mental health clinic;
Educator: credentialed elementary and secondary teacher, Masters of Psychology instructor for Licensed Marriage & Family Therapy (LMFT) and Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) track students, 16 years in early childhood education, including owning and running a child development center for 11 years, elementary & secondary teaching credentials, community college instructor, and trainer/speaker for staff development and conferences for social services organizations including early childhood development, education, social work, and psychotherapy.
Other professional roles: member Ethics Committee for six years and at-large member Board of Directors for four years for the California Association of Marriage & Family Therapist (CAMFT), and member Board of Directors of the California Kindergarten Association (CKA) for two three-year terms.
Personal: married since 1981 after dating since 1972 to girlfriend/wife/life partner with two wonderful strong adult daughters, and fourth of five American-born children from immigrant parents- the older of the "second set" of children.
Where to find Ronald Mah online
Therapy? What's Therapy!?
Therapists must flex among various roles: judge, referee, facilitator, mirror, guide, educator, fixer, interventionist, parent, & cross-cultural guide. Therapy becomes the vehicle of hope. Inflexible stances take away self-determination. Client & therapist goals, liking or not liking clients, & recruitment must be reconciled. Relationship principles apply to individual, couple, & family therapy.
All Relationships and Therapy are Multi-Cultural- Family and Cross-Cultural Complications
Therapy is inherently cross-cultural among clients & w/ therapists. Challenging family experiences are comparable to culture for demographically mismatched AND matched intimates. Problematic approaches, including existential annihilation ignoring culture are presented along w/ practical approaches addressing therapeutic roadblocks using strategies based on expression areas of cultural differences.
Mirror Mirror… Reflections of Self-Esteem in Relationships and Therapy
Poor communication directly harms self-esteem & relationships as individuals poorly mirror each other. 6 stages of relationship devolution, communication styles, & the development of & 4 principles of self-esteem lead to the Four Honorings of Communication, the Working It Out Plan, & a 8-step foundation plus the 7-step formula of self-esteem and the 90-Second-A-Day Self-Esteem Prescription Plan.
Out of the Monkey Trap, Breaking Negative Cycles for Relationships and Therapy
Akin to the monkey trap, therapists using strategic principles help individuals, couples, & families who keep themselves stuck. Therapists must target harmful negative patterns that require interruption. Included are basic plans & questions, treatment plans, guidance for intervention, humor, 5 elements in the personal process, & 6 indicators for 1st & 2nd order change of dysfunctional behaviors
Roles, Rigidity, Repair, and Renovation in Relationships and Therapy
Structural principles are applicable to all relationships, including individual intrapsychic confusion among impulse, logic, & more. The therapist is guided to take authoritative structurally-based vs. more passive therapeutic approaches to address specific challenging client compositions & specific client issues, equality vs. equity-based relationships, and repair vs. renovation in relationships.
Ghosts and Guests of Family Past in Relationships and Therapy
Experiences create neurotic filters altering perceptions that create relationship dysfunction. The therapist prompts recognition of scripts & roles, incoherent vs. coherent self stories, embedded & rigid roles, illogical values & perception, pseudo-maturity, triangulation, implicit rules, gallant knight-damsel, fixer-project, & distancer/pursuer roles, & various money scripts affecting intimacy.
Born that Way, Temperamental Challenges in Relationships and Therapy
Temperament provides a non-pathologizing perspective, as traits reciprocally impact attachment, learning disabilities, gender, culture, drug use, & anxiety/depression. Easy to difficult temperamental profiles influence dynamics from predictable childhood problems to adult relationships. Invested people can facilitate persons self-monitoring temperament & self-regulation w/ appropriate responses.
Out of the Developmental Chrysalis in Intimacy and Relationship Therapy
From baby''s need to be soothed, early experiences predispose one to intimacy & relationship functionality as an adult. For adult clients, 10 basic rules of development, re-visiting primary defense mechanisms, theories of cognitive development, attachment, & EFT provide cues to etiology of behavior, & goals of therapy including enhancing personal resiliency & reparative therapeutic relationships.
Down the Relationship Rabbit Hole, Assessment and Strategy for Therapy
Therapists can help individuals, couples, & families repair fractured relationships. Straightforward questions, 5 concepts: trust, vulnerability, self-expression, empathy, & investment & a 7-step devolution of relationship model are presented to assess quality & status of problematic relationships and to direct therapeutic strategies and interventions to heal and rebuild positive relationships.
Opening the Can of Worms, Complications in Couples and Couple Therapy
The therapist must anticipate opening a "can of worms," that can confuse & overwhelm . The therapist is guided to reduce the third partner in the couple- emotional reactivity as expressed in bipolar disorder, PTSD, developmental trauma disorder, sexual trauma, self-medication, & personality disorders. The Predator-Prey-Witness triangle, psychodynamic, attachment, & more direct strategy & therapy.
I Don't... You Don't... It Don't Matter, Depression and Anxiety in Couples and Couple Therapy
Depression & anxiety are intricately related to emotional, psychological, & interpersonal dynamics. To matter or not turns transitory disappointment into chronic depression & anxiety. The therapist must address gender & culture, stressors, habitual responses, attachment, communication, & problem-solving. Avoiding becoming infected with client depression & anxiety breaks negative partner mutuality.
Off, Odd, Different… Special? Learning Disabilities, ADHD, Aspergers Syndrome, and Giftedness in Couples and Couple Therapy
Someone off, odd, different, or special is a clinical clue to issues causing dysfunction in the couple. Disproportionate time, attention, & energy required stresses everyone. Learning disabilities (LD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Aspergers Syndrome (AS), & giftedness are among 13 reasons one may miss social cues, thus creating the sense of misfit that impacts relationships.
Mine, Yours, and Ours, Addiction and Compulsivity in Couples and Couple Therapy
Addiction & compulsivity often enter couple therapy. "Mine" or "yours" obscure addiction that is "ours." Addiction’s shadow sabotages "logical" therapy. The therapist can avoid stalemate arguing the "addict" label. Co-addiction is examined for mutual processes including attachment & family/cultural models. The therapist is the psycho-educator, witness, predictor, & planner for inevitable relapse.
Sorry is not Enough, Infidelity and Betrayal in Couples and Couple Therapy
Apology for infidelity is not enough for recovery. Gender & culture, characterological issues, forgiveness vs. acceptance, the context of infidelity, immediate considerations: boundaries, decision-making, scrutiny, transparency, flashbacks, trauma, & assessment of commitment along w/ attachment losses, social modeling, & family-of-origin dynamics reveal both the logic of infidelity & of recovery.
The Sun, the Moon, and the Stars, Dependency and Histrionics in Couples and Couple Therapy
Dependency & histrionics sabotages relationships through deference or flamboyance. The dependent turns others into the sun, the moon, & the stars- the center of the relationship, while the histrionic demands to be the sun, the moon, & the stars. Conceptual similarities, passive aggressive strategies & frailty, partner types, gender, sexuality, & cultural influences reveal strategies for therapy.
Conflict, Control, and Out of Control in Couples and Couple Therapy
The book guides how to promote appropriate assertiveness & aggression along a continuum w/o crossing to abuse; assessment for, management, & therapy when emotional reactivity becomes emotional abuse; & when verbal abuse predicts physical abuse. Therapist choice to engage or not deal w/domestic violence in therapy become functionally problematic when domestic violence is revealed unexpectedly.
Ouch! Where'd that come from?! The Borderline in Couples and Couple Therapy
This guides the therapist as a partner's borderline behaviors disrupt both home & couple therapy. The borderline existential trinity: betrayal/abandonment/rejection direct a response trinity: caring compliance/intimacy/acceptance. Challenging the core borderline paradigm leads to personal & couple's change. Quantitative changes in 5 areas lead to qualitative change individually & in the couple.
Scorpion in the Bed, The Narcissist in Couples and Couple Therapy
"Scorpion in the Bed, The Narcissist in Couples and Couples Therapy" Individual narcissism affects all aspects of couple's functioning. An assertive therapist role & strategy is required to deal w/ narcissistic behavior and attacks in the couple and couple therapy- the one best and perhaps, only opportunity for change. Understanding rationales for partners who couple w/ narcissists direct therapy.
How Dangerous is this Person? Assessing Danger & Violence Potential Before Tragedy Strikes
"How Dangerous is this Person?" identifies cues for potential violence, including profiles from mental health along with frustration-based aggression, bullying, cultural influences, substance abuse, psychosis, and special considerations. Key criteria are explained to formulate therapy, treatment, and intervention, including helping laypersons decide when to seek legal and professional assistance.
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