Miranda Thomason has a M.B.A from Shorter University and a B.S in Political Science from Kennesaw State University. The author spent years working in the foster care and juvenile justice system in North Georgia. This is the author's first attempt at writing a novel.
Breely is a recent college graduate who takes a job as a foster care worker. She works toward reuniting children and families. One teen has no family to return to. Through the years, Shay has seen several foster care workers come and go into her life. This time they form a friendship that benefits both parties.
I liked the cover and decided to give it a read. Abel is a college student with murder on his mind. Emma is a likely victim as she keeps to herself and studies. The murder scene is described twice in the story. The first time, it is glazed over and the second it is given in more detail. The second telling of the murder is very descriptive. The ghost in the story is at one point described as being emotionless. That did not fit with the other descriptions of her. She can't be both spiteful and emotionless. Just a little thing. The professor is described as middle old. I was shocked to click the link to the author’s page and find the author to be a younger person. I would have thought a college student wrote this story. So, only good things can come in the future for this writer.
This story has a nice pace and rhythm. The descriptive language is great. A few little things-The sight of a blood stained child among his court of soldiers and entertains didn't faze him, but he would have preferred the brat out of sight. Entertainers?
"You must be fool… if you thought five hundred men would get rid of me." You must be a fool?
Page 7 at the top-dagged should be dagger unless you meant a lock of matted or dung coated wool.
I suggest picking up a copy of Writer's Market and submitting this short story to magazines that buy in the horror genre. This story shows progress in your writing from Emma White. Mostly notably in the organization and flow.
The actual writing is good. Dialogue for the most part is done very well. The word behemoth is overused. This author has writing technique down.
The beginning of the story has a Friday the 13th feel because the setting is a cabin. Later in the story there is an investigator named Donald in a trench coat who is able to produce a picture of Metalhead the killer. There are pictures of Metalhead as a boy wearing a mask. He was horribly abused as a child and was in an insane asylum. He also happens to be related to the people he is killing. There is even a photo with Happy Halloween written on it. This section of the story works as Michael Myers Halloween fan fiction.
There were questions in the story that may have served to point things out to the reader. The story did that. The author told it well enough that the questions were already in the readers mind. I would recommend this to fans of the Halloween movies.
The descriptive writing on this piece is remarkable. The rhythm and flow of the piece is on point. As a reader, I was all in. The story of the woman going to the gallows was enough and the back story of the reason was given in little pieces. I loved it as is. My conflict was the vision of the zombies before she goes. It is a twist on the story I did not see coming. I am on the fence as if it added to or distracted from this story.
It is always a treat to read one work by an author and then read the next to find improvement in the writing. The first Metalhead had some traits that seemed like fan fiction for Halloween. This work is completely orginal. I don't want to give away any spoilers but a character that was once seen in a certain light is protrayed to the reader in a different way. The character actually does a complete turn around. Another thing the author does well is to use news broadcasts seamlessly in the book. It reminds this reader of Stephen King's Carrie. King used Carrie's psychological report and newspaper articles to bring an interesting aspect to his story. The use of the news broadcasts in this story sums up in some places and informs in others.
From the bold title of Not Like My Mother, I thought the book was going to be more about her relationship with her own mother. Chapter one is all about her relationship with her daughters. Then Chapter 2 was the back story for her mother's life. There did not seem to be much interaction between herself and her mother. The mother married six times. There was more about the stepfathers than the mother. The rest of the book was her life and then her daughters' lives. Then at the end of the chapter there were some think it over questions. A few chapters were a hodge podge of life advice. The best thing about the book was the Forrest Gump travel through the decades. She has a significant life event three weeks prior to JKF assignation. Then she moves through the sixties to present day. That was very interesting. The writing is good. I should have read the subtitle better. But for what it is, it is not bad.