Price: Free! 71780 words. Published on June 20, 2009. Fiction.
(4.71 from 7 reviews) 14-year-old Eddy Funderburke dreams of making it as a classical violinist... and making out with his curvaceous mom. After accepting that Carnegie Hall won’t be calling, Eddy memorizes showtunes, hoping to get laid and score a cruise ship gig. Getting help from a preacher, a crack whore, and a Southern Studies professor, Eddy is positioned to fulfill his fantasies. But can he handle it all?