Smashwords — About Tom Lichtenberg, author of 'The New Guy In Moon Base Twelve', 'The Mortal Hole', 'All Geeked Up', etc.

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Location: United States
Member Since: Nov. 15, 2009

34 users have added this author as a favorite.

Tom Lichtenberg

Biography

Short absurdist comic-surrealist nonsense with poly genre mashup. Sincerely weird.

Where to find Tom Lichtenberg online

Website: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3262388.Tom_Lichtenberg
Facebook: Facebook profile
Blog: http://pigeonweather.wordpress.com

Where to buy in print

http://www.lulu.com/tomlichtenberg

Books

The New Guy In Moon Base Twelve by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 18830 words. Published on February 11, 2012. Fiction.

(3.50 from 2 reviews)
They weren't exactly the crew the President had in mind when he announced his plan to build a permanent base on the moon so the Chinese wouldn't do it first, but there they were, a boring collection of peaceful, happy settlers who couldn't even get a decent reality TV show rating. Life was perfectly dull until the new guy arrived. Now if they could only find out who he was and where he'd come from

The Mortal Hole by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 32710 words. Published on January 19, 2012. Fiction.
A collection of short fictions, including the complete Sexy Teenage Vampires trilogy, The Futile Epikles and other characters, and several previously unpublished stories.

All Geeked Up by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 67390 words. Published on September 8, 2011. Fiction.

(3.00 from 2 reviews)
From their humble beginnings as inventors of a handheld device with basic mind control capabilities, the tech-folk behind World Weary Avengers, Incorporated moved on to develop such gadgets as one capable of recording an individual's very personality and replaying it back into another person. Only a small group of testers stand between these audacious inventors and your very soul.

In Constant Contact by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 22650 words. Published on July 31, 2011. Fiction.

(4.00 from 1 review)
The good folks at World Weary Avengers are at it again. They have a device that keeps you in continual contact with a "professional friend", guaranteed to always be there, whenever you need them, to be whatever you need them to be. Now it's up to Kandhi Clarke and her team to make sure if does what it's supposed to, and not what it's not, before this latest tech-astrophe is let loose on the world

Entropic Quest - An Epic Fantasy by Tom Lichtenberg and Johnny Lichtenberg by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 35380 words. Published on June 22, 2011. Fiction.
In this dystopian fantasy, certain people are stuck at binary ages (8, 16, 32 ...) due to an unknown cause. They cannot age, or change, or become sick or even injured. By turns experimented on, abused, tortured and scorned, they are eventually exiled into a strange prison, an infinite forest world from which there is no escape. There they seek a cure, an antidote, a solution to their problem.

Dragon Town by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 18040 words. Published on April 21, 2011. Fiction.

(3.00 from 1 review)
Argus Kirkham, now 39, is once again dragged unwillingly into an inexplicable situation. Sapphire Karadjian returns to the story as an investigate journalist assigned to a new mystery, a volcanic sinkhole which has swallowed an entire football stadium, and from which a very strange and nameless young girl has emerged, hair and clothes on fire, with a message for Argus.

Sexy Teenage Vampires by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 4980 words. Published on March 26, 2011. Fiction.

(4.67 from 3 reviews)
Three short stories offering a novel twist on the 'paranormal' romance thing. These kids live underground, in train stations and subway stops, using modern techniques to extract what they need from packed and tired rush-hour commuters. Sometimes it pays to be more afraid of what you CAN see, what you want to look at, what you can't stop looking at.

Rainbow Country by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 9160 words. Published on March 2, 2011. Screenplays.
A stage play. When Thalia Jennings inherits a mountain resort from the father she never knew, she discovers it to be much less - and infinitely more - than she ever imagined.

Jimmyland by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 17100 words. Published on February 4, 2011. Screenplays.
The settlers were dispatched to a distant planet to build a colony to house the future of mankind. They had everything they needed, except a backup plan in case things went horribly wrong, and there was no way home.

Fixture by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 15640 words. Published on December 13, 2010. Fiction.

(3.50 from 2 reviews)
When a city commissioned a famous artist to create a masterpiece for their newly refurbished downtown, they only forgot one thing: to tell him when to stop. Now his greatest work is threatening to take over everywhere. It's a race against time and space and dimensions nobody even knew were there!

Dawn Debris: A Comic Book Without Illustrations by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 4470 words. Published on September 25, 2010. Fiction.

(1.00 from 1 review)
When his new idea is stolen, Morris Bevelhead turns to the best finder of lost things in the business - Dawn Debris, Private Eye. After a hearty breakfast, Dawn finds herself trapped in a sinister conspiracy to save the world through orange juice. Can she pull the plug before it's too late, or will the mega company FedCorTron rule the day? (Extracted from the 'Cashier World' story collection)

Unwritten Rules of Impossible Things by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 15660 words. Published on September 13, 2010. Fiction.

(4.50 from 2 reviews)
What if someone - or something - stole one of your days? Just one, and you didn't know why, or what they had done with your life in that time? Young Philip Galvez and his friend Marcus Holmes found out for themselves when they decided to discover why there was a giant stuffed moose in a house down the road.

Renegade Robot by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 16850 words. Published on July 31, 2010. Fiction.

(5.00 from 2 reviews)
It's the end of the world as we know it, when the dreaded Singularity finally occurs and happens to be captured, live on tape, by agents of the Frantic News Network, which freaks out, as usual, and causes a lot of trouble for the mild-mannered nanobot exterminator who happens to get caught in the crossfire.

Bookstore Lore: The Stupidest Questions Ever Asked in a Bookstore by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 4470 words. Published on June 22, 2010. Nonfiction.

(2.00 from 2 reviews)
The original collection of "Most Stupid Questions Ever" with an introduction by Chris Haight, and collected by generations of bookstore workers from downtown San Francisco, California. Now in its 4th edition, featuring brand new stupid questions submitted by our readers

Raisinheart by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 16640 words. Published on April 28, 2010. Fiction.
Three stories of a lonely youth. Jimmy Kruzel's bad luck is that his worst enemies are always his best friends, or is it the other way around, and that sometimes his darkest hours seem to come right after the dawn. In tales more bitter than sweet, Jimmy finds that you can attract more flies with honey than you can with vinegar, but really, who wants to attract flies anyway?

Death Ray Butterfly by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 19420 words. Published on April 10, 2010. Fiction.

(4.11 from 9 reviews)
Inspector Stanley Mole doesn't mind a hard case, but things have gotten out of hand. There's a killer who escapes to a parallel universe, a frozen caveman with a bullet in his skull, a woman who claims to have witnessed her own murder, a toddler assassin, time-traveling dictators, and subatomic-particle sniffing butterflies. For Mole, this time more than just his reputation is on the line.

Zombie Nights by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 17410 words. Published on March 11, 2010. Fiction.

(3.56 from 18 reviews)
Being a zombie, not so easy. That could have been Dave Connor's six word memoir. "At first he couldn't remember how he'd ended up in that shallow grave; he just knew it was hell to claw his way out, and that the taste of its dirt would remain in his mouth for the rest of his time on this earth" ... Expect the unexpected in this existential resurrection thriller.

Tiddlywink the Mouse by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 5490 words. Published on January 26, 2010. Fiction.

(4.00 from 1 review)
A collection of oddly surreal stories for unusual children, featuring a mouse and his friends - a squirrel, an elephant, a limpet and a fish - along with an assortment of mischievous clouds and cowardly mushrooms.

Ledman Pickup by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 29900 words. Published on January 13, 2010. Fiction.

(4.67 from 3 reviews)
If you were a sentient gadget, what would you do? Travel? See the world? After overhearing one warehouse worker tell another that 'Green Bay is better than San Francisco', a newly conscious handheld device decides to re-route its shipping destination. From there one hell of a wild goose chase is on as the gadget's designers' agents race to track it down and bring it in before it gets away for good

Phantom of the Mall by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 7250 words. Published on November 28, 2009. Fiction.
The settlers were dispatched to a distant world to prepare the way for the great migration. Everything went according to plan, a little too smoothly, perhaps. Now there's only one thing missing in New Town, just a minor detail. Dystopia in G Minor. The Phantom of the Mall.

Golden by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 21890 words. Published on November 28, 2009. Screenplays.
A man saved by accident from global human extinction is able to travel back in time within the previous century – the only problem is, he’s a black man in 20th century America. A screenplay based on characters from the novel Time Zone

The Part-Time People by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 16180 words. Published on November 25, 2009. Fiction.

(3.50 from 2 reviews)
DeBarrie's Stationery Store needed help again. Somehow, the part-time people never worked out. It was a problem. One after another, the part-time people came and went, and sometimes, nobody ever found out what happened to them. The newest one seemed even more hopeless than usual. His job application announced "there's a man who follows me around and ruins everything I try to do".

Rampant Pheromonix by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 19380 words. Published on November 24, 2009. Fiction.
When an overpopulated city is exposed to an epidemic of clairvoyance, all hell breaks loose. It’s up to the ‘wuns above’ and Science to fend off the forces of both good and evil in a race against certain annihilation.

Fissure Monroe by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 24510 words. Published on November 24, 2009. Fiction.

(4.00 from 1 review)
Dawn Debris is hired to find a possibly-radiation-poisoned leg bone of a high society fashionette who only wants to fit in with the new craze of skeletal transplants that’s sweeping the nation. A store detective, a street musician, a tedious pundit and a suspicious beautician are all involved as market forces compete in a world where beauty is no longer skin deep.

Cashier World by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 39980 words. Published on November 15, 2009. Fiction.
A collection of stories, including the Legend of the Wandering Cashier, the roadside diner Angel of Death, the classic tale of the Bathroom on the Bus, and featuring private eye Dawn Debris in the Land of Many Things

Hidden Highway by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 19730 words. Published on November 15, 2009. Fiction.
Sharad LeMaster ran away from his own cult, and tried to hide from his followers by taking a desk job in a motel in the middle of nowhere, but when a certain lazy ghost from his past reappears, Sharad is lured into a haunted house and becomes the proud possession of the witch Eugenia, and gets caught between rival black-market magic-potion dealers in their fight over a girl.

World Weary Avengers by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 15880 words. Published on November 15, 2009. Fiction.

(3.00 from 1 review)
The good folks at World Weary Avengers Incorporated had a simple idea - changing the world for the better by talking loudly in public. Seemed simple enough, but even with the help of the most sophisticated hand held device ever invented, some jobs are better not left to amateurs. You never know what kind of hell could break loose.

Time Zone by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 33650 words. Published on November 15, 2009. Fiction.

(5.00 from 1 review)
This is not your father’s time travel. There’s no machine, no dial. There’s no telling where or when you’ll go. The only thing that can change is you. It will make you what it needs to make you. And if you come back, it won’t be the same you. You’re messing with the nature of things, and the nature of things does not like to be messed with. Welcome to a riddle of change and addiction.

Squatter with a Lexus by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 20360 words. Published on November 15, 2009. Fiction.

(5.00 from 1 review)
Pearson Holmes disappeared a long time ago, leaving behind a potentially valuable safety deposit box. Freddy the Freegan is the first to stumble across the mystery, but soon a whole cast of characters are out to find the key and claim the treasure before time runs out and the contents are forfeit to the state. Who will solve the riddle of the Squatter with a Lexus?

Somebody Somewhere by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 24060 words. Published on November 15, 2009. Fiction.
Some psycho kidnaps his would-be girlfiend, gets chased by the cops halfway across the state, runs out of gas right outside your house, where you and your spouse are enjoying a quiet evening at home, and now you’re held hostage at gunpoint and surrounded by police. It could happen.

Snapdragon Alley by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 43070 words. Published on November 15, 2009. Fiction.

(3.33 from 6 reviews)
Ten year old friends Alex and Sapphire discover something strange on the city bus map, a street that existed for only one year. As they set out to solve the mystery, they encounter the possibility of another world, another dimension perhaps, in a vacant lot, but they are not the only ones on the trail. Who will discover the truth, and who will pay the price? Book One of the Dragon City Trilogy.

Secret Sidewalk by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 19540 words. Published on November 15, 2009. Fiction.

(4.00 from 2 reviews)
Beauregaard Sweet became invisible, but his troubles began when he suddenly reappeared. Now everybody wants something from him. Manny the mechanic wants his wife. Sharad LeMaster wants his secret. Emma Biggs wants another shot at the TV news, the Four Tribes want to send him back to wherever it was he’d gone, and all he wants to do is eat donuts and watch reality TV.

Orange Car with Stripes by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 19600 words. Published on November 15, 2009. Fiction.

(5.00 from 1 review)
On a dare, Gian Carlo Spallanzini set out to discover the deepest darkest secret of a person picked at random. He had no idea what he was getting into. Even a fat, bearded know-it-all ought to know better than to leap before you look. Add a crystal ball, a foul-mouthed parrot, and a cranky atheist talk show host and you'll never guess the outrageous mystery behind the orange car with stripes.

Missy Tonight by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 26170 words. Published on November 15, 2009. Fiction.

(5.00 from 1 review)
These days it seems like everyone is cashing in on the New Atheism craze, except for lifelong unbeliever Alan Musted. What’s a portable toilet dispatcher to do? Crash the party, that’s what! Join Alan and his friends and enemies in this ground-breaking work of “atheist pulp fiction”, the spellbinding sequel to 'Orange Car with Stripes'

Macedonia by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 24190 words. Published on November 15, 2009. Fiction.
A gang of street kids, an anonymous radio announcer, a detective from the future, a presidential assassination attempt and a frequently mistaken narrator all play a part in this jumble of introductions to an open-source novel inspired by the works of Macedonio Fernandez. Cover painting by Delma Soult.

Freak City by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 24540 words. Published on November 15, 2009. Fiction.

(4.11 from 9 reviews)
It’s hard to control your destiny while you’re waiting for the bus. The trouble for Argus Kirkham began when a stranger pushed his way through a crowd at a bus stop and pressed a package into his hands. Inside the package were various random items. As Argus and his friends unravel the clues, very strange things occur in this story of mystery and ghosts. Book Two of the Dragon City Trilogy.

Bobby and the Bedouins by Tom Lichtenberg
Price: Free! 25350 words. Published on November 15, 2009. Fiction.

(4.50 from 2 reviews)
Mario Flambeau was once a guitar god, a superstar in the psychedelic heyday. Now he's a burned-out wreck. When a desperate producer finds him in a church basement in a band with other derelicts, he has visions of a major comeback payday. Add a drummer with an anger management problem and a preening drifter diva lead singer, and you've got all the makings of a true rock and roll apocalypse

Tom Lichtenberg’s tag cloud

addiction adolescence adultery adventure african american ai alcohol alien aliens ambition angel of death apocalypse art astrology atheism bank fraud bank robbery barbers bass bathroom best friends bisexuality body snatchers bookstores bullies bus bus drivers camaro caper cashier cavemen character sketches chase childhood children children adventure childrens adventure childrens fiction clairvoyance clerk clouds colony comedy comic book comic science fiction commuters computers corporation crazy crime cult leaders cults dawn debris detective device devices dimensions diner divination dowsing dragon drama dreaming dreams dystopia dystopia novels dystopian dystopian climate change romance genetic manipulation speculative post apocalyptic dystopian fantasy dystopias election epic epidemic esp exile existential experimental extraterrestrial fantasy fedcortron fiction ghosts mystery fiction music fire fishing fortune tellers freegan friendship futuristic gadget gadgets game gangs geek fiction genetic engineering ghosts gimm gizmo haunted house heroes hippie hippies homeless horror humor humor and comedy immortal impossible things inventions kidnapping la honda latin america lawyers losers lunar macedonio fernandez machines madness magic potions magical realism mechanics metafiction mice mind control missing persons moon motels murder mystery nervous breakdown newsstand nightmare obsession old man orange juice overpopulation panhandling parallel universe parallel universes parallel worlds paranoia paranormal parrots pie play police private detective private eye psycho thriller pundits quest rainbows redwood trees republican resurrection retail revolution road trip roadside diner robots robots ai aliens automaton rock rock and roll rock fiction rock lit rock stars rocknroll romance runaways safety deposit box satire save the world science science fiction sculpture service seti settlers sex addiction shipping and receiving shopping short stories singularity sinkhole small towns social media social network socialism software space space travel spaceships spies spring hill lake squirrels storage subatomic particles surrealism suspense talk show talk shows tall tales technology teenagers telepathy television test the war on stuff theater time travel tracking devices train station transit treasure hunt tv ubik unwritten rules urban urban fantasy vampire vegetarian warehouse waterfront wetford wikipedia witchcraft women world domination young adult young love youth zen zombies

Tom Lichtenberg's favorite authors on Smashwords

Adam Maxwell

Lost the Plot? 500 Writing Prompts and How To Use Them

(5.00 from 1 review)

Visit their website.

View their blog.

Bullet Time and the Beer Taxi

Alcala Publications

Visit their website.

View their blog.

THE BOY-QUEEN'S ADDRESS TO THE NATION (9/15/2011)

Carla Herrera

Day Gazing: Weird Shorts

(5.00 from 1 review)

View their blog.

Eddie Wright

Broken Bulbs

(4.50 from 4 reviews)

Nervous Teeth Drink All The Poison

View their blog.

Michael Summers

The Is Shop

(5.00 from 2 reviews)

Moxie Mezcal

(5.00 from 3 reviews)

Cheesecake, Jr. in the Future

(5.00 from 1 review)

(4.00 from 1 review)

Smashwords book reviews by Tom Lichtenberg

A Brief Conversation with My Hair on April 24, 2010

Like the hero of 'Diary of a Grocery Cart', this collection of deliciously absurd humor is 'overflowing with abundance'- in other words, it's got a lot of funny stuff. I especially enjoyed the proposed zombie movie plots, the interview with Count Chocula, and Calvin and Hobbes by Hemingway.
A Letter To Justin Bieber's Hair on July 10, 2010

i like it. I guarantee that "his a household name" will be!
We Don’t Plummet Out of the Sky Anymore on July 21, 2010

Definitely worth reading. Although I got lost a bit in some of the comparison shopping, I enjoyed the humor and appreciated the novel approach to one of the more popular futuristic myths of our time.
3 on Sep. 20, 2010

I especially enjoyed the first and last of the three stories. I found them thoroughly engrossing, suspenseful and surprising as you're led deeper and deeper into their mysteries, but never feel tricked or deceived. All three of the stories eventually go farther and deeper than you expect.
Broken Bulbs on Sep. 20, 2010

This is one of the best books I've found on Smashwords so far. The Moxie Mezcal review below sums it up pretty well. It's hysterical and wretched at the same time. I want to throw in a bunch of quotes here from the book but I wouldn't know when to stop. There's just so much good stuff.
Mr. Diddles, the Pit of Fire, and The Karate Guys on Dec. 15, 2010

This is really good comic science fiction! It's very funny, hysterical at times, and very inventive too, and takes so many unexpected twists and turns it makes you want to hang on to your seat. It has several characters so vivid it makes me wish I could draw - it would make a fantastic graphic novel. I would love to see a collection of readers' drawings of these guys.
Scribbling On Foucault's Walls on July 09, 2011

A fine feat of imagination, inserting a child into the life of a complex and interesting historical figure. Adding this perspective both brings out the human in that person and highlights his contradictions. I loved the boldness of this approach, and also the excellent writing I've come to take for granted from this very talented author.
Coastal on Oct. 07, 2011

horrifying, stunning, brutal, impressive, unforgettable.
Welcome to Mom's Diner on Oct. 29, 2011

What a wonderful story. I loved it. I'd give it ten stars if I could
Where The Sun Sets on Nov. 03, 2011

Good story, well told.
The Fear of E on Nov. 19, 2011

Wonderful. Excellent. Hilarious.
Day Gazing: Weird Shorts on June 02, 2012

I loved these intense short stories. In several of them, beautifully sketched characters find themselves drawn, thrown, or simply awakened into inexplicably weird situations. I especially liked the pair called ‘Freedom/Stairs’, depicting protagonists choosing opposite coping strategies (‘Stairs’, especially, is a greatly empathic story). ‘The Protector’ is another sharp tale of unexpected and exciting new possibilities, while ‘Bunker Test’ and ‘White Room’ are in her wheelhouse of personal apocalypse. Highly recommended.
The Alien's Luggage on June 03, 2012

A fun little story, nice take on flying saucers
The Is Shop on June 03, 2012

Wonderful! A perfect story.
The Ad Agency on June 03, 2012

clever take on an original idea, well executed and funny too.
Taxbell on June 03, 2012

based on a great concept, the story is well told and well thought out.
Accident Man on June 03, 2012

excellent story, made me wonder what Lady SOL would look like!
Generation Next The Real Thing on June 03, 2012

nice take on the old alien invasion theme.