Zoe E. Whitten

Writer of dark and weird fiction, amateur comedian, retired nymphomaniac.

Website: http://zoewhitten.com/wordpress/
Twitter: Zoe_E_W

• Zoe_E_W: RT @shutsumon: In my continuing search for a dragon for the cover of the first #dragonwars ebook I have to ask do peeps like this one? h ...
• Zoe_E_W: Hope y'all are having a better day.
• Zoe_E_W: MAJOR back spasms. I had fun but this trip is starting to feel like a mistake. =^(
• Zoe_E_W: RT @DailySourceNews: WORLD: Afghanistan’s Opium Child Brides. (The Atlantic) Story: http://t.co/4y4VQZjW
• Zoe_E_W: RT @shutsumon: Tweeps! @MeiLinMiranda's Kickstarter is at $4932. She's past her goal but it'd be a pity if she didn't reach £5k http:// ...

Blog: http://zoewhitten.wordpress.com/

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/zoe_w

alien invasions    aliens    androids    animal speak    animalspeak    anime parody    bards    bioterror    bioterrorism    bisexual    bizarro    bizarro fiction    black comedy    black elf    blood    broken home    cannibal    cannibalism    cheese    child abuse    child abuse recovery    child abuse survivor    comedy    comedy erotica    coming of age    confessions    crazy writer    crime confessions    cross dressing    daem    daemons    daoine sidhe    dark comedy    dark fantasy    dark fiction    dark humor    dark scifi    demigods    discrimination    djinn    dragons    drug abuse    dwarfs    dysfuctional family    dysfunctional family    elves    empathic    erotic horror    evil henchmen    fairy godmothers    family dysfunction    fantasy    food    gay    gay fantasy    gay fiction    ghost story    ghosts    goblins    goody two shoes    grhyphons    gymnastics    half orc    halfings    halfling    halflings    halforc    harpies    haunting    horror    humans    humor    imps    incest    interspecies sex    jinn    jinni    kittens    lesbian    lesbians    lycanthrope    lycanthropes    lycanthropy    mad science    mad scientist    magi    magic    magic realism    martial arts    modern parables    murder    musical numbers    musicals    mutants    mystery    mystery and ghost stories    mystery and suspense    mystical world wars    nanowrimo    nanowrimo novels    nightmare    nom nom nom    ogres    oni    orc    orcs    parables    paranormal fantasy    parody    parody superheroes    porn    psychic detectives    psychics    pukerificaliciousness    puppyslut    racism    raves    rhyming stories    robots ai    scifi    serial killer    serial killers    sex    shapeshifters    sidhe    silence of the lambs    speedster    substance abuse    super powers    super villains    superhero    supernatural    survival horror    telepathy    terrorism    the hunger games    tragedy    transgender    transgender youth    transgendered    transsexual    twilight    urban fantasy    vampire    vampires    vigilantes    viral experiments    warlocks    warlocks bride    weird    werecats    werekin    werewolf    werewolves    witches    woman in a pit    wraiths    wyrm    ya    zombie    zombie apocalypse    zombie novella    zombies   

Daniel Russell
Latest book: Penanggalan! An Aussie Vampire Story. Published on June 28, 2011.
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Gina Ranalli
Latest book: Wall of Kiss. Published on April 24, 2010. (4.00 from 1 review)
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HP Mallory
Latest book: Great Hexpectations, A Paranormal Romance/ Urban Fantasy (Dulcie O'Neil series, Book # 3). Published on October 28, 2011.
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Kait Nolan
Latest book: Genesis. Published on September 14, 2011. (4.67 from 3 reviews)
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Kealan Patrick Burke
Latest book: Kin: A Novel. Published on January 1, 2012.
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Made in DNA
Latest book: Kizuna: Fiction for Japan (test). Published on August 7, 2011.
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Naomi Kramer
Latest book: Bad Juju. Published on October 27, 2011.
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Zoe Winters
Latest book: Cat Fight. Published on March 25, 2011.
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• Cupcake of Love on Aug. 08, 2010
  
  A slacker, an insane princess, a stalking fairy godmother, and a bakery. This pretty much sums everything in this funny tale without giving anything away. It's a short story, cute and quirky, and worth multiple reads. Highly recommended.
  
• DEAD(ish) on Aug. 08, 2010
  
  Hysterically funny, and should come with a warning not to eat or drink anything while reading this book. A haunting story about a vengeful but artistic dead woman and her messed up but definitely wicked boyfriend. Linda even goes so far as to torment a PI into this mess, all for the task of finding her body. The answer was a bit of a shock, but fitting with the rest of this kooky and hilarious tale.
  
• Save My Soul (A Paranormal Romance: Preternaturals Book 2) on March 18, 2011
  
  Save My Soul is the story of Anna, a woman who returns to her hometown for her father’s funeral and rediscovers her obsession with an old house. Only after she’s bought it and moved in does anyone clue her in that she’s got a supernatural roommate, Luc, (short for Lucien) an incubus with gorgeous looks and a killer appetite for sex. Luc has been trapped in the house for a long time, and since Anna isn’t interested in leaving, the demon wants her to help him escape by torching the house. And since Anna has been obsessed with the house since childhood, that’s not happening. Things become more complicated with the arrival of another incubus, Cain. Hoping to protect Anna from Cain, Luc performs blood magic on Anna that has far reaching consequences for both demon and human. More drama is added with the arrival of a witchy best friend and a harem of hookers. And that’s before the book kicks you in the gut with its metaphysical premise about Earth being in one of many temporal dimensions. There’s so much to like in this story. The characters are challenging and yet it’s still possible to relate to most everyone in the story. The pacing is fast, and the plot unfolds well without making any revelation feel jarring, even the surprise twists. The story builds to a tense conclusion, and then closes with a semisweet epilogue. Even the bit characters offered some nice character development in their tiny subplots, so this is a book that gives a lot for the short size. Since I enjoyed the book so much, I’m giving Save My Soul 4.5 stars and would recommend it to fans of fantasy, dark fantasy, romance, and urban fantasy. I’m going back to read Claimed and Mated, and I can’t wait for book 3 of this series to hit virtual book shelves soon.
  
• The Company of Angels by K. H. Koehler on March 23, 2011
  
  The Company of Angels is a grim story about one man's fight against a plague destroying his world, and the monster drawn to him for his fighting spirit. Chris is a priest and part-time microbiologist trying to find a cure for a plague that has laid waste to most of the population. His church is full of orphans, who Chris is trying to keep protected from the plague, and from the crumbling remains of society. This is not a happy story even before the arrival of the fair and well-spoke Julian, but his presence frightens Chris, who sees Julian as a tool of the devil, or perhaps even the devil himself. But as Chris struggles to avoid Julian, his other fight against the plague also seems to be failing just as badly. Chris is ultimately fighting a losing battle, and everyone but him can admit it. Julian's efforts to take Chris away from this hell only makes him fight harder to change reality. That he can't is tragic, but realistic. So the dark ending should neither be surprising nor upsetting. As a horror story, this excels for the grim atmosphere, and for several visually intense and gory scenes. It's a short ride, but one that packs a hard punch to the gut, and which may even draw some tears near the end. I give The Company of Angels 4 stars and recommend it to fans of horror and post-apoc fiction.
  
• The Vampire Relationship Guide, Volume 1: Meeting and Mating on March 31, 2011
  
  The Vampire Relationship Guide Volume 1 is subtitled Meeting and Mating, but probably should have been labeled UR Doing it Wrong. While the writing is engaging and the world building fascinating, the narrator’s stunning lack of perception drags down the second half of the novella. The ending is further hampered by a bad guy plot so hideous, it’s no wonder it failed. I’ve seen better criminal plots hatched by first graders for a cookie raid.(And the first graders didn’t get caught.) But let’s start with what works, and why it works. We’re introduced to Josie, a bridal shop worker who has an obsession with meeting and bedding a vampire. She’s offered the chance to attend a party of a well to do vampire named Gregory, and so dressing up fancy, she head out to hook up. Josie and Gregory meet and hit it off well, and as Josie leaves she meets another vampire, and that meeting doesn’t go so well. These introductions work well for me, and I initially loved Josie’s random strange questions or comments. I also liked the little glimpses into the background of this world’s vampires. They have a good mix of familiar tropes as well as some new ideas to help keep the monster fresh and interesting to learn about. The second vampire Josie met at the party introduces himself the next day as Walker, and then proceeds to act like a jerk over, and over, and over. And yet, “there’s something about him” that Josie can’t help but like. Oy. I had a similar problem with the characters in Amanda Hocking’s Switched, and for the exact same reason. Nothing in the dialogue or the character’s actions hints at physical or emotional attraction, and yet the narrator tells me over and over how very hot the vampire is, and therefore, that overcomes their absolutely boorish behavior. Aaprently female heroines are so lonely that the first guy to look at them is worth jumping, even if the look they’re getting is a scowl of contempt. This kind of “attraction” makes Josie look so desperate for a approval that even when both guys are treating her like crap, she sticks around. Hey, at least it’s attention, right. Bleh, this is not a good quality when combined with her other bad traits. The story moves to a big conflict for the final chapters, and when the bad guy steps out to reveal his plans, I wanted to weep with baby Jesus. The plan is poorly thought out, and the reasons that the bad guy chose Josie make no sense. So, this leaves me in a bit of a pickle. Here we have a story with solid writing, many charming moments of wit, and with vampires who are a combination of familiar and new aspects that make the world building intensely interesting. But Josie’s method of world building is asking hick questions that aren’t even appropriate as fifth date material, much less the first. If Josie and I were on a date, I would expect her to say “So...you used to have a dick, huh?” That’s exactly how tacky she is in broaching vampire topics. And while the world Josie lives in is fascinating, once we get to that first set of dates, Josie reveals why she’s still single as she nears her thirties. She’s a goober who likes the taste of her own shoes. She has to, because she keeps opening wide to shove both shoes inside. The vampires have an interesting background, and this is a world where vampires are out in society, something you don’t see often. It’s a unique enough view that if you can overlook Josie being a hick, the book isn’t bad. But even being a hick myself, I was frequently face palming at how tacky she was. Think of this as a brief road trip with someone you sometimes wish you could sex up, only to wish you could drown her voice out with the radio a few minutes later. I’m going to give The Vampire Relationship Guide Volume 1: Meeting and Mating 3 stars and recommend it to fans of vampire humor and urban fantasy series like the Sookie Stackhouse mysteries. And being charitable, Josie didn’t rub me the wrong way nearly as badly as Sookie, or as Wendy from Switched. I was able to make it through Josie’s book, while I dropped Switched and Dead Until Dark early on. So call that a tepid endorsement of Josie as being the least cloying of the three.
  
• Frankie & Formaldehyde on Aug. 31, 2011
  
  Frankie and Formaldehyde is a strong story right from the start, and it just keeps building on those strengths as the plot unfolds. Take a zombie nursing home similar to the kind depicted in Michele Lee's Rot. But instead of magic animating these undead, a corporation, Osmosis, Inc. has created a compound to bring the dead back to life. But unlike most zombie apocalypse stories, Osmosis does not entirely lose control of the situation, and the undead are herded into arenas and fed. Afterward, the company is even selling the compound to grieving family members using predatory ad campaigns to prey on peoples' inability to accept death. Enter into this cold world an elderly woman named Frankie, who, along with coworkers Shirley and Larry, shovels rotting meat to the corpses in one of the arenas. She works constantly because Osmosis has taken over her bank and swindled her on her home loan. Did I mention that Frankie's husband is a zombie? George isn't like the others, and instead of being a violent "rogue" he passes most of his days watching TV and eating bacon raw. But when Frankie leaves her door unlocked in a fit of worrying, George gets outside and begins to uncover a plot by Osmosis to strip everyone's land. Only…George seems to have discovered this before, back when he was alive… Enter into this mess a S.I.R. investigating office, Chuck. A retired cop now working to investigate and eliminate rogues, Chuck is rightly seen by everyone as the corporate errand boy of Osmosis. Like Frankie, Chuck is in denial about how bad things have gotten, but as the story unfolds, Chuck sees how scummy Osmosis really is. Eventually, he must come to terms with this, but not before confronting George and Frankie in a truly explosive finale. But, this is not a fast-paced story. The cast's ages range from 40-70 in most cases, so the pace moves a bit slower, befitting the cast's age. But this is not to say the story is slow or dull. It unfolds at just the right pace and delivers a great ending. There's resolution, but Shirley predicts that there can be no happy ending. And this is perhaps the most realistic assessment of their future. So to recap, this is a great story premise, a great cast of quirky characters, fantastic dialogue, and a romantic angle that's all about love and sacrifice and nothing about sex. The scenes were descriptive enough to rip shudders from my jaded black heart, and toward the end, I was giggling gleefully with every line from Shirley or Larry. Can I gush about this story further? Yes, but I'll spare you. I give Frankie and Formaldehyde 5 enthusiastic stars and recommend it to all zombie and horror fans who like a little brains with their blood and guts.