Reviews of The Unsuspecting Mage: The Morcyth Saga Book One

by
“Want to be a mage? Then do we have the job for you…” Sounds great for a veteran role-player. When on-the-job training entails battling demons, learning magic through trial and error, and living in a world without toilet paper, things could get rough. But to be dropped in the middle of a forest and having to do it on your own with no instruction…welcome to James’ world.

Reviews of The Unsuspecting Mage: The Morcyth Saga Book One by Brian S. Pratt

A.L. Wyatt reviewed on July 31, 2012

I'm going to be completely honest here. I would like someone to do the same for my story as well so I don't feel bad. There is no hook in my opinion. Also James is 17 why is he riding a bike to school. I am sorry, but you should do more research. I do realize that his school is a short distance but still. Here is something else it says his PE teacher tells him he should participate. Normally seniors get to choose their classes and the freshmen must take PE one year. Most high schools follow the one year freshmen PE doctrine. To me the characters lacked a lot of description. We are all entitled to our own opinions and mine is this is a no go. I do want to give you props for pulling off 140k words using present tense that is rare. I am sure you are a good writer, but to be honest. I do not like this story. Sorry. :(
(review of free book)
Shoobydoo reviewed on Jan. 1, 2011

I only managed to get through 8 pages of this before asking myself why I was bothering and hitting the back button. The present-tense writing is incredibly distracting, but I am a poor judge of that because I absolutely despise present-tense writing in general. What dialogue I read was stilted and very unnatural. The main character starts out as trying to be an interesting subversion, by making James interested in geeky and nerdy things, but in practice it just seems like a poorly written author stand-in.

When the author actually wrote "It's not like he was fat or anything" was really the last straw. That is not the kind of sentence you put in a professionally written manuscript. (And yes, that is what the independently published should strive to be; professional.) That is the kind of thing you say in a conversation with your buddy when trying to defend your sedentary lifestyle. In fact, it would have been fine if this sentence was used as a piece of dialogue between two characters DISCUSSING the main's sedentary lifestyle. However, it was a piece of background information about the character. Instead of revealing James' traits through his actions and interactions, we are instead treated to lovely infodumps like "It's not like he was fat or anything. He just wasn't in to that sort of thing." If that's the best this book has to offer, you can count me out.
(review of free book)
Jason reviewed on Dec. 28, 2010

I'm surprised at the high rating other reviewers have given this book. My guess is that the other reviewers are on the young side or the author is bumping his own work.

The book is written in the present tense which is actually really distracting. It may be that the author decided to do this so that readers might associate it with the way the GM of a role playing game narrates but it doesn't make it less disconcerting.

The book's dialogue and plot are very simplistic, suitable for young readers but probably not for most adults. I found the whole book to be a demanding slog. Not recommended for advanced readers. Only barely recommended for anyone else.
(review of free book)