(from Shylock Hapless and the Case of the Missing Piglets)
My dear Hapless,
I am obliged to write to you by an unfortunate, indeed I may say painful, occurrence.
The piglets are disappearing.
As you will recall, my piglets are free to roam during the day, under the supervision of my trusty swineherd who is alerted by their grunting should a wrongdoer hove into view.