The plot is rather trite and neither it nor the characters fully engage the reader. It could have been made more interesting by giving more pertinent details and using a lot more dialog - don't tell us about it, let the characters speak! The author's love of inappropriate exclamation marks is annoying and he or she desperately needs to work on the use of verb tenses. Not too bad for an amateur effort, but the author needs to improve his or her command of English, or else work with a good editor who can smooth the rough edges.
(review of free book)