Professor David C. Wyld has written the ultimate compendium of the "best" - well “worst” - college student excuses in The Handbook of College Student Excuses.
Crowdsourced with contributions from over 500 faculty members from across the country, this book is an entertaining look at the lengths to which college students will go today in providing their professors with an excuse to get out of going to class, taking a test, or missing an assignment or project deadline. Just a few examples of the excuses college students have actually used with their professors include:
* “Student says his aunt gives him medicine that makes him spacey, so it makes him forget to do his work. It was Metamucil.”
* “My student emailed me saying ‘I got caught with weed and spent the weekend as the guest of Fulton County.’"
* “I had one student who was skateboarding to get a coffee, crashed, and ended up with a concussion. They ended the email with ‘and I never got the coffee.’”
* “Yesterday while we were in a Zoom class, one of my students got a bat in her room and we all watched (transfixed and yelling encouragement) while her apartment maintenance dude ran around with a bag and a ladder trying to catch it.”
* “Student said: ‘I couldn’t finish my essay last night because I had to go bail Grandpa out of jail.’ And it turned out to be true.”
* “Oh, I had an epic ‘dead grandma’ story. I received a call from a student the night before the exam (I gave out my number for emergencies) and he gave me this horrible story about his beloved grandmother dying and he just couldn't function and really needed an extension on the exam. What said student didn't know was that both Grandma and I were from the same town. And it just so happened that at the time of this call, I was sitting at the same table with her at a church event. I responded to him by name, saying I was so sorry that his Grandma Beth died. Grandma Beth, who is one sharp cookie, took one look at me and said, ‘Is that ____?’ Before I could finish nodding, she ripped the phone out of my hand, stalked off to an empty classroom, and proceeded to give her grandson one HECK of a chewing out. She returned about twenty minutes later, handed my phone back to me, and said, ‘He WILL be in class tomorrow.’ The next morning, he was twenty minutes early and gave me flowers as an apology for his lying and that he ‘would never do this again.’"
* “I don’t know about my worst one (excuse), but I do have the best one... one of my students was late to class one morning because SHE DIED. Literally. She has a congenital heart defect and had to be rushed to the hospital where they revived her during the night. And she still showed up the next morning... just late.”
These are just a sampling of the excuses you will read in The Handbook of College Student Excuses. However, while the book has a lot to laugh at in terms of all kinds of excuses - from health to tech to family to pets and much, much more - that students have actually used with professors, it also presents the other end of the "best" excuses equation, showing how students have persevered over their unique circumstances to succeed in their college classes!
All in all, it's a fun, enjoyable read! It makes a great read for anyone connected with higher education today, be you a professor, an administrator, or even a parent paying the bills! And yes, if you're a student, the book might even provide you with a few ideas for your own excuses - should you need them to use in your own college career! The book makes a perfect gift for your high school grad, for your current college student, or for anyone connected with higher education! Get your copy today!