My Take Away Vampire

1 star1 star1 star Adult
Although Agatha is over three hundred years old, it certainly doesn’t mean that she can’t adapt and fit into ugly post-industrial small town suburbia. Partial to the delights that an evening at McDonald’s often serve her, she waits at her favourite dimly lit corner table – for her kind of take away. More

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Published: Nov. 26, 2011
Words: 18,490
Language: English
ISBN: 9781466003866
About Derek Haines

Derek Haines is an author of fiction, historical fiction, essays and poetry and writes his books from a view of what fascinates him and not from a formula based on one theme or genre. Starting with poetry before moving into essays and novels, his writing is varied but is always written in a style that communicates with and engages his readers.

Most of all, the stories told by Derek Haines are about people, their feelings, regrets, hopes and struggles with life. Ordinary people, often a loser, but with extraordinary qualities that makes their story worth telling. While some stories reflect his own thoughts and beliefs, others are told from the view of characters who are sometimes dark and complex or childishly open. With splashes of allegory, black humour or simple satire, his stories can develop from the simplistic to the complicated and back again leaving the reader to decide if it is time to laugh or cry. Or both.

Born in Australia, but now living in Switzerland with his wife and his dog, his stories cross a wide geographical range but often draw from elements of his life and experiences in the two countries he calls home. From the rugged, dry and hot desert country of Australia and its crowded cities to the cafés of Europe and the peaks of the Swiss Alps. The hustle and bustle of Sydney to the quiet life of the Swiss countryside.

When not writing, he is usually doing what he equally enjoys. Teaching English.


My Take Away Vampire
My Take Away Vampire - A Tasty Novella

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Review by: Emma Meade on Jan. 08, 2012 : star star star
Forever teenage vampire Agatha's favourite hunting ground is the brightly-lit interior of McDonald's. Flashing lots of flesh, she finds easy and willing prey; her preference is male virgins and so she dresses in the manner she thinks will most entice them, i.e. a little teenage tramp.
I finished this story in one sitting; it's easy to read and very well written but I would have liked to learn more about Agatha and how she survived the past 300 years. There's also a lot of language, too much for my taste but I guess this does come (mostly) from the mind of a teenage boy Reggie. Some parts are also creepy, like Agatha's seduction of a teenage girl.
This novella is well written, creepy in places and overall funny and entertaining. In a literary world filled with deep, brooding male vampires, Haines' tale was a welcome change.
The best thing about My Take Away Vampire is that it made me laugh, which is always a good thing.
(reviewed long after purchase)

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