Promises - A Short Story
Rated 1.00/5 based
on 1 reviews
When Julie realizes that she can no longer carry on after her break up with Rob she decides to do something drastic. Can an old friend help her out of her despair or will this be the end for Julie?
Price:
Free!
- Category: Fiction » Christian » Short stories
- Published: May 10, 2012
- Words: 3,780
- Language: English
- ISBN: 9781476085500
Tags:
fiction
short story
jesus
christian
About Jason J. Cross
Jason J. Cross is an independent filmmaker, animator and author. Most of his work can be seen on www.fsocross.com, www.horrortourguide.com as well as on youtube.
Tweet
Videos
Promises - A Short Story
Reviews
Nancy Bandusky reviewed
on Feb. 16, 2013
Interesting premise - poor execution.
The grammatical errors (singular vs. plural, verb tenses, coordinating parallelism) start before the short story begins and continues through the "about the author" section at the end. All of this was distracting during the reading experience.
The storyline is contrived with the use of too many character perspectives - including a bartender's two sentence thoughts - for such a short story. The "surprise" at the end is a cheat because of the multiple perspectives.
In a short story (especially) every word is important. The reader is provided with far too much detail on the bar setting which is completely irrelevant to the plot. Descriptions of people are vague and actually non-existent for the main character - Julie. Elements are introduced (motel, train station) which the reader must just accept as they are never elaborated on.
The details of the cover are hard to see as it is so dark.
(reviewed 7 days after purchase)