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~isms’ cause schisms, and ~ites cause fights
~ists’ clench fists and hyphens ain’t right
Darvin Babiuk writes novels, short stories, articles, shopping lists, and has more than once been considered a write-off. He hopes to be around to write his own obituary. Had he not been untalented and lazy, he’d be a professional hockey player. Friends say he has never been the same after the tragic incident that took place in the 1984 Moose Factory cribbage tournament. His turn-ons include women with mustaches, Men Without Hats (The musical group, silly!), honey Dijon mustard and leopard frogs. If he were a vegetable, he’d be a beet, pithy but misunderstood. He wishes he could write like Scarlett Johansson looks. He is a born-again critic and a card-carrying library patron. As a child, he was an imaginary playmate. He is currently working on a mystery series set in Vancouver and a comic/magic realism novel about hockey. He welcomes inquiries from agents or publishers.