Color of Loneliness

Rated 4.84/5 based on 88 reviews
When Myra Sommers’ grandfather dies, she inherits his possibly haunted house in the small town of Nyssa, Oregon. She hires gruff contractor Dylan Lawson to repair it. As he begins work on the house, Myra discovers that the sexy tool man is hiding almost as many secrets as her new home.

Will she fall in love with the man she finds beneath the tough outer shell? Or will his past tear them apart? More

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About Madeleine Beckett

Madeleine Beckett is a born and bred Hoosier who still lives in Indy with her hunky high school sweetheart, gorgeous son, and house full of yapping dogs.

Maddie’s love of books came at an early age. Her parents were evil and deprived her of a television; therefore, books became her obsession. She found that she could curl up with someone’s words and be exported to another world; places dreamed up from the most creative imaginations. She could be a princess, ride a broom, jettison to the moon. Anything was possible when she held a collection of words in her hands.

As a child, she dreamed of becoming a famous author. She secretly hid a notebook under her twin bed and every night, she would put ink to paper, wishing desperately to write stories of fairies and far away lands with perfect Prince Charming’s and never-ending happily ever afters. But all she ended up with were doodles scribbled across a page.

Many years later, that old desire resurrected itself again and one day she touched fingertips to a keyboard and a story was born. She found her love and passion that day and has typed so many words since then that she’s blown up three laptops and has smoke coming out of her fourth.

Maddie loves laughing, hot pink lipstick, and Krispy Kreme donuts. She once, on a dare, ate an entire dozen in one sitting.

If you want to blab with her or get hints at what she’s typing next, you can find her on Facebook, Twitter, or her blog.

Learn more about Madeleine Beckett

Also by This Author


Samantha Anderson reviewed on July 23, 2014
(no rating)
Oh. My. Gawd. Get ready for the gushing mushy love that I have for this book. I simply cannot get enough of the Color Of Loneliness.

Myra, the poor broken beautiful soul, speaks so many volumes to me as a woman who has endured a fair amount of loss in my life. I can so very easily identify with her life and her quiet nature. She is on the run after being betrayed by the love of her life, and secludes herself in her childhood home.

Dylan, who is seriously the embodiment of every woman's fantasies, The brooding, sexy, rough around the edges contractor? With that foul mouth and those barbaric tendencies? Uh. Yes. Please. But we all know what lies beneath that callous exterior, the heart of a broken man in need of some serious TLC. Low and behold his newest client is more than he bargained for.

And my favorite character, of any book, ever written in the whole world, is Myra's best friend Susie. Susie gives me LIFE! I have never fallen so in love with a character! She is definitely the comic relief in this dark and somber story of self discovery and love. Susie will have you laughing every time she pops up.

I found myself laughing, crying and biting my nails to the quick while reading this simply brilliant book! The struggle for both Myra and Dylan to overcome their horrible and horrifying past's, coupled with the confusion of their unexpected blossoming relationship, as well as a deranged stalker watching watching their every move, will keep you on the edge of your seat.

And the ending will absolutely blow your mind, you will never see it coming. I cannot give this book a high enough rating, nor can I convey how much I absolutely love it. You'll just have to read it and see for yourself.
(reviewed 7 days after purchase)
Natalie Townsend reviewed on July 2, 2013

I love this book.
(reviewed 39 days after purchase)
Sharon Xuereb reviewed on June 13, 2013

3.5 Stars

Color of Loneliness is a story of two sad and lonely people finding each other and trying to get over the pain of their pasts.

I liked this story by Madeleine Beckett and found it hard to put down. The plot moves along at a good pace and doesn't stall at any time. The idea of each chapter having a title and a colour to reflect its mood is a great idea.

About the characters:- Myra has just lost her grandfather and is grieving his death. Whilst coming to terms with the fact that she is the last remaining member of her family. Plus having to see her ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend every day at work is not helping her. Then there is Dylan, who is a contractor that comes to work on Myra's house that she inherited from her 'Grampie'. He is a bitter, angry man with a past that has caused him a great deal of pain. Both Myra and Dylan are likeable in their own ways and I found myself craving for more information about them. The secondary characters are also very likeable and even have you giggling occasionally.
The negative criticisms I have of this book is that there is a bit too much swearing in general conversation and the crudeness of Susie (Myra's best friend), even though she is funny can be a little over the top at times. This is why it loses one and a half stars from me.

All in all it's a lovely read and has compelled me to read the sequel 'Color of Forgiveness'. So give it a go!
(reviewed 23 days after purchase)
Nicole reviewed on April 24, 2013
(no rating)
Myra is alone in the world...her last living relative recently passed away, and she's left with her best friend as her only family. To add insult to injury, her long time boyfriend recently left her for another woman...who also works at the same office as Myra. Not only is she dealing with death and loneliness, but she has to have their relationship flaunted in her face on a daily basis.

In essence, Myra is done...she's done being lonely, she's done letting herself feel this way.

"She doesn't recognize the reflection in the mirror. The sad, depressed woman she sees staring back at her has to be someone else. It can't be her. As she stares into the stranger's empty eyes reflecting back at her, she wishes she could make it all go away. Make the emptiness disappear. But he doesn't know how...
"I can't do this anymore," she whispers to the unknown person staring back at her..."

When her grandfather's lawyer call to tell her that she has been left all of his assets, including the old house in her small hometown of Nyssa, in the middle of nowhere, Myra jumps on the opportunity to start over. She quits her job, packs a bag, and begins her life back where she started. But the house itself needs some major she hires a local contractor.

In steps Dylan.

He's a hard guy to get to know. He's angry, abrasive, blunt, rude, and very standoffish. (Just the kind I like in my books...weird, I know...) But Dylan has secrets in his past. He hasn't always been this way. And as these two begin to know one another, there is healing taking place. They can't fight the physical attraction, especially when faced with it on a daily basis.

"This is all your fault." He holds her by the shoulders and glare down at her.
She frowns. "What do you mean?"
With his lips snarled, he looks up and down her body as he releases her shoulders. "Because you're always looking all sexy and shit. If you weren't so goddamn beautiful, this shit wouldn't happen. Maybe I'd be able to control myself around you..."
"You think I'" she asks as her heart pounds.
"Yes. Insanely sexy." His eyes narrow as he continues frowning. "It really fucking pisses me off. You need to do something about it..."

I love Dylan! I also love Myra's best friend Susie. This lady is bubbly and happy and crude and rude, but most of all, she's as loyal as they come...if Myra has only one person left in the world, she should thank God it's Susie!

She's got innumerable hilarious lines, but here are a few of my faves:

"Holy horse shit. That's your contractor? That's Dylan?"
"Yes, but don't forget you said he was a fucking asshole less than an hour ago," Myra hisses.
Susie looks back at Dylan, her eyes roaming up and down his body. He turns his head towards them and they both duck quickly behind the toilet paper.
"I did, didn't I?" Susie asks. "Damn it." She stares at Myra for a moment. "Well, all I can say is that he's one delicious fucking ass hole."


"Whoa. Back the trolley up. He carried you into the house? That's so damn romantic. Completely swoon-worthy. Like that's some Shrek and Fiona shit right there..."


"We both know he's a giant asshat, but I have to admit I wouldn't mind wearing his naked ass on my head..."


"No panty ripping? Damn. I totally had him pegged as a panty ripper. God, I'd love to have someone rip my panties from my body. But I think the only way Jeff could get my ginormous grandma undies shredded would be with some garden shears or a bush whacker."

I love that woman! I want her for my very own best friend, almost as much as I want Dylan!

Despite all of the funny, this was a really meaningful story, of two people so beaten down by the unfair hand that life has dealt. Tragedy has hit them both, and they fight their attraction until they can't fight any more. And this attraction leads them to help each other heal. Just when they are set to be alone and down for the rest of their lives, there is suddenly something to look forward to, a reason to get out of bed, a reason to keep going.

Although you don't really get answers OR closure in this book...there is a deadly little cliffhanger, so I highly suggest having the next book ready and waiting for you...

Many thanks to Madeleine Beckett for this book in exchange for an honest review. It was an absolute pleasure!!
(reviewed 22 days after purchase)
Johanna Luis reviewed on April 22, 2013

**Copy courtesy of author Madeleine Beckett in exchange for an honest review**

OHMYGOODNESS..Susie stole the show!!
The heroine's best friend Susie does an amazing job. Her witty sarcastic, horny ass comments had me dying with laughter.

"It's because he's an asshole. Asshole brains don't work the same as ours do. Too much brown sludge."

"You don't know what a PTA is? Susie asks, laughing. "It's the old Pussy, Tits, and Armpits bath; you know, where you scrub your PTA."

Susie is the ultimate wise cracking best friend that is constantly cheering up her best friend Myra. The story revolves around Myra's chaotic, overwhelming, and lonely life. Myra is trying to outrun her past and her problems, when she decides to move back to her hometown due to tragic circumstances surrounding her. Myra is lonely and feeling depressed due to having no family whatsoever. Everyone in her family has deceased, leaving her all alone to face her own battles.

And here enters Dylan.

Dylan is the typical hard ass, angry, HOT contractor who has been hired by Myra to restore her house. But as time progresses so does their relationship buy Dylan is hiding a secret that he wont confess to. This secret will ultimately break them or tie them together.

The Color of loneliness is a great book for in between reads when you are looking for something easy and traditional. I tend to like my reads dark and angsty. So if you fall into this category this book wouldn't be your cup of tea.
Overall, the book was stress free and even paced, with no drama, until the very end and that's when shit hits the fan. So obviously, I will be jumping on the bandwagon to see how things pan out between Myra & Dylan.
(reviewed 26 days after purchase)
Heinzypop reviewed on April 15, 2013

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! That ending is one hell of a killer cliffhanger! I swear I can't believe it finished off like that and I am reeling in desperation to find out what the hell is going to happen. I seriously yelled out loud when I found myself tapping my kindle to turn the page and it would budge. Madeleine Beckett, what have you done? You really know how to keep us on our toes and wanting more, especially after that!! EEEPPP

I found myself at the beginning trying to get used to the story being told in third person (which was easy to overcome) and it was a little slow to start. But then, I fell into this groove and got sucked into the story and felt a connection with the characters. And boy, did I feel all kinds of things! I felt how sad and lonely Myra was and how desperate she was to escape her life and the ex who put her through the ringer and back. She found herself moving back to her hometown and into her Grampie's very old and totally rundown home, which she inherited on his passing. What's even more depressing is how alone Myra is. If it wasn't for her best friend Susie, whom is totally off her rocker and so freaking hilarious, Myra would have no one to talk to or confide in. I swear though, the things that flew out of Susie's mouth had me laughing out loud, and very relatable too.

Since the house that she is living in is falling down around her, Myra has no choice but to hire a contractor to do the work needed to make it liveable. And, here is where the story really starts to pick up...drum roll please...Dylan Lawson at your service. Talk about HOT, ROUGH and TOUGH!! RAWR!! This man had me quivering in all the right places with his "HELLO LIPS" line to his no bullshit attitude! OMG he really made me go goo goo and every time I read his POV I couldn't get enough. This guy was angry and in so much pain, and needed to let off a lot of steam!! And boy oh boy, did he ever! The tension between these two was building up and up, and every time you think they would do something about it and pound it out, something or someone interrupted. Talk about being frustrated LOL. I loved the chemistry and foreplay, and the dancing around. But what irked me a little, is how we never got to find out why Dylan was so angry and hurting so much. He was putting off what made him leave his life and family behind, and why he was so put off with Myra at the beginning and why he hated himself and everything around him. I felt his pain, I really did and I want to know what is holding him back. And just when you think that he is going to spill the beans, we are left hanging and gasping! Thank God I have the next book lined up, ready and waiting for me to jump into.

I really enjoyed reading Color of Loneliness and I would like to thank the author, Madeleine Beckett for providing me with a copy to read for my honest review. I look forward to reading the next book in line and I honestly encourage you all to take a chance and read this book, I know I'm glad I did.
(reviewed 13 days after purchase)
Fran Gold reviewed on April 3, 2013

Very interesting read. Two total opposites (or so it seems), Myla and Dylan embark on a "sort of" relationship that begins with contractor meets girl in need of house repairs. Dylan is angry, unresponsive, and totally rude while Myla is tormented, jilted and so not looking for another relationship.

I like these two characters even with their flaws. The story draws you in to the turmoil surrounding them and doesn't let go. You want to know what Dylan's secrets are and how they have made him the hard individual he is. Her past losses and the undeniable train wreck that is her former relationship, brands her as naive and withdrawn. As the story progresses you see her come out of her shell somewhat and begin to take hold of her life and feelings.

The only issue I had with this story was the character of Susie, Myla's best friend. She is annoying plain and simple. While the scenarios with her border on overkill, I still have an open mind that she too, will come into her own with changes.

The book hooks you and continues with the next installment of Color of Forgiveness. Will I be reading it? ABSOLUTELY! I have to know how these two main characters find each other (if they do) to move past all that is stalling their relationship.
(reviewed 2 days after purchase)
sarah uk reviewed on March 24, 2013

Source: I received a digital copy of this book for free on a read-to-review basis. Thanks to author Madeleine Beckett.)
25-year-old Myra is having a difficult time of things. Her grandfather just died leaving her with no blood relations at all, and her boyfriend dumped her for another woman, who to make matters worse is now pregnant, and a total b*tch.

Deciding that the best way to deal with all of this is to move back home to her grandfather’s house, Myra quits her job, and moves away, intending to use her time to write a novel.

Her grandfather’s house is falling to pieces though, and she needs to hire someone to fix it. Between the leaking roof, no running water, blocked toilets, and faulty electrics, it’s going to take a lot of work.

When her neighbour suggests she hire a man called Dylan who worked on his house, Myra checks him out before hiring him, but unfortunately she can’t check his temperament, and is shocked that he is so distant, moody, and angry all the time.
Myra has other thing to worry about though when her next door neighbour dies, and her ex turns up at her house uninvited.
Why is Dylan so angry all the time? Will Myra be able to make a life for herself in the town where she grew up? Will her ex ever leave her alone? And will Myra and her hunky contractor ever hit it off?

I enjoyed this book. I was a little sceptical at first as it was written in the third person, which I have not read much of lately, but as I got into the story it became compulsive reading!

Myra is a likeable character, and I felt really sorry for her the way her ex – Trent treated her. It can’t be easy to find out that the man you love is cheating on you with another woman, especially when you work at the same company! I was glad that Myra had her friend Susie to support her as she had no family left, but I wasn’t 100% sure that running away from her problems was a good idea or not. While I thought she could do with the closure, I worried that she was running away rather than facing her problems.

Susie – Myra’s best friend was a larger-than-life character. I honestly have not met anyone like her ever before, and some of the stuff that she came out with was just crazy! I have quite honestly never heard of a condom being called a ‘custard catcher’ before, and some of her other lines were pretty funny too, one of my personal favourites being – ‘Did you get a taste of Dylan’s footlong yet?’.
Susie was a fab character, and she was such a supportive friend to Myra, which was just what she needed.

Dylan was a very angry man. He swore constantly, kept everyone at arm’s length, and was generally quite a gruff character. He was obviously hiding something, or had something in his past that made him this way, but his general demeanour was not good. I could understand how he would have women throwing themselves at him because he was a hunk, but that anger should really have sent them running for the hills!

I liked the storyline, and I liked how it took a long time for Myra and Dylan to warm up to each other. There wasn’t a lot of romance in this book, the story was more focused on Myra and how she was trying to move on with her life after Trent. We were treated to a bit of action at the end though.
Otherwise the end of this book wasn’t really an end. I’m afraid we got a total cliff-hanger!! I’m guessing that you have to read the next book in the series to really find out what becomes of Myra and Dylan now.
Overall; a story about a woman starting over, with a touch of romance and humour.
7 out of 10.
(reviewed 5 months after purchase)
Erica reviewed on Jan. 20, 2013

Myra Sommers has lost the last of her family, her beloved grandfather. In attempt to heal, she leaves everyone behind, including a cheating ex named Trent, her often crazy, obnoxious best friend Susie, her job to move into the house her grandfather left her miles away.

Too bad the house is a bit of a money pit. As the house falls apart around her, she meets her grandfather's neighbor and best friend, finding comfort in his memories.

The author has a wonderful way of conveying the grief that Myra experiences during this trying time. Despite the endless days and sleepless nights, its well balanced with the often colorful antidotes from Susie and Myra's willingness to move on. She sets her mind to achieve a goal and steamrolls toward it. Whether its writing a book for the first time, tackling a renovation, unpacking, or standing up to a friend or rude contractor.

Through her new neighbor, she enlists the help of Dylan Lawson, a contractor often hired because of his looks. His gruff exterior for a big portion of the book remains that way, often doing things that deserve a slap on the face. That is until he sees something in his client that he tried to ignore. Once they realized they are both feeling something for each other, its hard for them to fight the attraction.

Why is Dylan such an ass, we find out a few clues in this book. Though this book ended with a cliff hanger, I know I'll be grabbing the next one once its available. Can't wait to read more.
(reviewed 23 days after purchase)
ellelou reviewed on Dec. 17, 2012

4.5 Stars!

I've read this book about a month ago and it left me with a book hangover. Even though I couldn't get it out of my mind I just couldn't write a review at time. I thought a short and rushed review just couldn't do justice to this book. I immersed myself instead into other books, angsty, deep, fluffy, funny, paranormal...but my thoughts kept coming back to this one.
So I decided to re-read it. Now, considering that my TBR pile is growing dangerously every day, you would have thought that this was not a good move. But I don't regret it for a bit, I enjoyed reading it second time round even more, and this time am trying to finally write that review!

This is a story about two young grieving people, each coping in their own ways.
Myra and especially Dylan are two complex characters. I am starting with Dylan and I'm going to ramble a bit because quite simply I have a huge crush on him.

has moved away from his family and his past. With his scruffy appearance and unfriendly attitude, he tries to keep people away. He built walls to keep everyone out, he's usually abrupt and doesn't worry how he's perceived, he just isn’t interested in making friends. He doesn't pay any attention to his appearance, he doesn’t care how he looks, in fact he finds his good looks a curse and an invitation for unwanted attention from the women in this small town. He keeps busy with work to stop thinking ...what he doesn't want to think about we don't know... He's quite a mystery and along with Myra we do wonder why this young, attractive man is so angry and unapproachable...
“He has no desire to share with anyone the mind fuckery that’s been going on in his head the last few days.”

Whatever happened in the past haunts him and stops him from living his life ...he's scared and he's hiding behind that scruffy and grumpy facade...

“Because if there is a God, he sure did a damn good job screwing me over.”
He had everything once. He had the perfect life.

Having been hired as a contractor to do the refurbishing work on Myra's house, he tries to keep a distance from her. They both aren't ready for a relationship but they can't deny the attraction.

"He shouldn’t be looking at them but fuck it, he can’t help it. He has an overwhelming urge to smash his mouth against hers and kiss her until she can’t fucking breath."

But somehow she reaches deep into him and he really wants to let the walls down. She makes him smile, laugh, makes him feel alive again.

He struggles with these new feelings, the control on his emotions
is slipping and that frightens him.

"He leans down and rests his forehead against hers. “I’m
scared,” he breathes. “Of what?” she breathes back. He closes his eyes.
“This. I… can’t…”
He wants to let her in, he just doesn't know how. He has shut off
his emotions for such a long time, talking about the past isn't going
to be easy, it's going to hurt.

she's different, she's shy and hides behind oversized jumpers and chews her thumbnail when nervous...
She always smiles at him even though he's almost rude, but it is when the roof accident happens that he sees her in a different light. She looks after his injuries without making any unwanted advances...

Myra on the other end is going trough her own problems...having just lost the last remaining member of her family, working in an environment where she get constantly reminded of her ex-boyfriend's betrayal and having just inherited her grandfather's house she makes the decision to leave everything behind and start anew in the small town she grew up. Myra is going through a bad time in her life and she does question her decision to move into her late grandfather's house. She finds Dylan intriguing and despite the initial misgivings she can’t deny the attraction.
Myra knows pain all too well; she’s certain that they can help each other. But she needs Dylan to come to the same conclusion.


“I came here cuz...” he says before he stops and stares intently at her mouth. “Cuz I wanna see your lips. Been thinking about them. Your lips. They’re beautiful, and red, and… wet. I came to say hello to your lips.” His eyes glaze over as he stares at her mouth. “Hello, lips,” he says in a husky voice.” His eyes glaze over as he stares at her mouth...and his eyes – hooded from alcohol – fill with a strange warmth that looks somehow happy and sad all at once"

I liked how these two started to get closer together. It wasn't rushed, maybe it was slower than in other adult books, but you have to take into account that neither was looking to get into a relationship, they're still dealing with tragedies and in Dylan's case something else altogether...

Dylan is apprehensive at first...He tries to keep the distance, he thinks she's too good for him, he's got a past and doesn't feel ready to upload it onto her...Later when he's away at his parents it's nice to see him starting to live again, his texting is sweet and my heart went to him. I didn't know and still don't know what really happened but my heart did a little dance when he started to smile and open up a bit.

"His breathing increases. “I’ve only kissed one woman in my damn life. But I want to kiss you so fucking bad right now,” he says as he drops his head down closer to hers, so that their lips are just inches apart. “Can I kiss you?” he whispers."

It was adorable when he was asking to kiss Myra, asking permission to go ahead. And that I believe is because he doesn't believe he's allowed this small step to happiness. He's shut off for such a long time, filling his days with work and punching bag that to change all that it seems undeserving. He doesn't do well with emotional pain that's why he left Myra alone when Jim, the neighbour died. To have stayed with her meant to open up and get emotional ... and he's not capable of doing that after such a long time cutting off family and feelings.
You could see both of them starting to change, Dylan letting the walls down, accepting that he deserves to be happy, and Myra starting to have a self confidence that she lacked in the past, being appreciated and wanted and being told so...

And when it does happen the fireworks explode....

Supporting Cast

BFF- provides tons of entertainment throughout the book, she is loud, unafraid to voice her opinions in a colourful language and uncontrolled speech.

Ex BF - stalker, a conceited and self-centered person. Best described by Susie:

“That lowlife bag of shitty turds. That scummy, slimy sleezy maggothead. God, that shit pisses me off. He’s got a lot of nerve considering the tiny ball sack he has floating in his pink girlie underwear.”

or ...

“It’s because he’s an asshole. Asshole brains don’t work the same as ours do. Too much brown sludge”

New neighbour - Talks 100 miles per hour, comes across as a bit ditzy, provides distraction and entertainment.

The end of the book it was like being punched into the stomach....Whilst I thought that I started to know and understand Dylan and liking him in the process, the abrupt finish was like a betrayal...
Yes, the book ends on a cliffhanger... but I have faith that Myra won't do anything rush or stupid.

I NEED TO KNOW NOW! What's happening, what did happened in the past, there are so many questions unanswered and I need them solved NOW!

The next book Color of Forgiveness is expected in few weeks time, January 2013.

A big thank you to Madeleine Beckett for providing me a copy of her awesome book!
(reviewed 36 days after purchase)
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