The Ark Angel Ronald's Quest for Chaos

Rated 3.80/5 based on 5 reviews
The world is in danger of becoming dull and boring. Evil has gone and the goody-two-shoes have taken over. Without evil all creativity will be lost. The music charts will fill up with boy-bands and rock and roll will die out. This will not do!

There is only one explanation for this horrendous occurrence. Satan must have gone soft. But the Ark angel Ronald has plans to change Satan back! More

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About Jonathan Antony Strickland

You really want me to reveal personal information here?
O.K then... here's some stuff you might (or might not) like to know about me!

Well for starters you can contact me on

My Hobbies:
1_Are you bored. Then do what I do. Take off all your clothes and paint your face and arse bright blue. Then run outside and shout abuse at passers-by... passes the time if nothing else!
2_Managed 18 keepy ups with ye old pigs bladder once....What's that you say? Not that impressive! Well... what I failed to tell you was that the pigs bladder that I did the 18 keepy ups with, was still inside the pig!
3_Not pissing on the evil that is Milthy Swinebuckle, if he were ever to catch fire
4_Scratching my arse!
5_Watching Milthy get his arse kicked by a three legged tortoise...HA !!!
6_Scratching my arse and..oh wait I've already said that! Ah, what the hell. It's a good one so I'll say it again.
7_???? **** ???? with **** then ?*?*!
8_Wondering what I'm doing during hobby seven?

MY most prized possession: Hitler's missing left testicle (NOT FOR SALE).

My most famous quotes:
1_A step in the right direction can still mean the death of an ant!
2_I look down on almost everybody...although come to think about it, it's probably because I do climb a lot of trees!
3_You know that poem "if", what a load of crap. Kipling got it all wrong. What he should have said was "If you can portray the ideas you get to a sober man (no matter how shite though's ideas may be), and keep a straight face. Then you'll be a man MA SON!
4_HMMMMMM........I think I'll eat my socks!
5_MMMMM.......cheese and onion flavour .........NNNNIIIICCCCEEE!!!!
6_Ignore the above quote's and instead just read and live your life by number 7.
7 As far as I'm concerned you should not judge a fellow person on their looks, sex, race or beliefs. There are only two types of people: 1_Everyday ordinary people who just want to get on with their lives and not bother anybody else...2_The preachers, the arseholes and the gobshites, who want to tell you what to do, what you should be doing and how you should be doing it.

My favourite words:...knickers, bra's, boobs, bums, knockers, shit, shite, bollicks, twat, boobs (such a good word it needed to be said twice), gussets, stains, ugabalooga, randy, stodgeflaps, fgkgkujhghrewh, and TURD!!! That's TURD... Got it? No? Then I'll say it again, just in case you missed it...T.U.R.D

My Arch Enemies:
1_Milthy Swinebuckle....Beware he who sneaks, creeps, squawks and chortles. He who goes by many names. Names such as... Archibald Stott, Feagus the mostly squidgy, Terrance the quite nasty tormentor etc... but to me he will always be Milthy Swinebuckle (or if I meet him face to face... ARSEWIPE!)
2_Mr.Hairy Monkfish... Swinebuckle's main henchman (and suspected bumchum)
3_Randy Stodgeflaps... not much to say about this guy except he is one of Swinebuckle's best mates and a bit of a ballbag!

Charity work.....Milthy Swinebuckle has been infected with writers tourettes. Only I can help him. I really hope I don't catch it though, as every few words he writes he can't stop himself writing words like..."KNICKERS" or"ARSE" or some other filth. It takes him a good twenty minutes to write and edit a single sentence. I really "NADS" feel sorry "BOOBS" for the "GUSSETS" poor guy......"B...BB...BBB BOTOMSSS, ARSEHOLES, PANTS,......Oh bugger!"

PS: Does anyone actually read any of this personal information shit?

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Review by: James Hold on June 2, 2016 :
It only goes to show you should never let an angel watch Quentin Tarantino movies. Great line : "As for the poet, well, his stuff was still crap, but that's poets for you!"
(review of free book)
Review by: larina bridenstine on April 5, 2015 :
Could only read 2 pages was confused right off the bat
(review of free book)
Review by: Emily Carter on April 25, 2013 :
Great view of a world without evil! It just goes to show that you can't have the good without the bad. Loved the ending!
(review of free book)
Review by: Rob Wilkins on Jan. 14, 2013 :
** spoiler **

This story is like a drug-addict's take on It's A Wonderful Life, and run through with ideas that range from the berserk and twisted to the outright hilarious. At the point where Ron is planning to eat the guy's liver with baked beans because "the supermarket didn't sell the right type" I had to stop reading until I was done laughing. Great fun.
(review of free book)
Review by: Michael Carter on Nov. 22, 2012 :
My friend Jonny Strickland's first story, and while you can see a huge improvement curve in his recent writing, all of his trademark humour and plot is here.

The story deals with heavy themes, that of neccesary evil, but does so without a hint of pretentiousness. In everyman matter-of-fact prose, Jonny's story is a bit like a twisted CHRISTMAS CAROL with the Ark Angel Ron taking the Devil to see a happy jolly caring world where there is no evil.

Along the way there are observations on sexual positions and whether serial killers have any mates to go to the pub with. The story is increasingly laced with black humour; I was particularly tickled with the thought of Ron copying THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, but not being able to get any Fava beans at the shop, so just slapping a poor mans liver on a plate with a tin of cold baked beans. Oh My!

Reminiscent of Douglas Adams, this is a great fun story, utterly without pretension.
(review of free book)
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