Rated 4.83/5 based on 12 reviews
Nobody would believe David that he saw lumps moving along the living room walls. Perhaps that was for the best, who knew how the lumps would react if somebody else saw them.
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Tags: horror
About Ian Woodhead

Ian Woodhead is just past the age of forty. He lives in the north of England and is married to a wonderful woman. He has forgotten how many children he has. He had been writing for nearly twenty years but has only just gained the confidence to start showing his work. Ian finds it a little creepy writing about himself in the third person.

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Review by: gotmud on July 12, 2011 :
(review of free book)
Review by: Mark Cantrell on June 4, 2011 :
A quick review this one, but once again I find myself filled with words of praise for Ian Woodhead's work. This short story was a cracking read, thoroughly original, with some nicely depicted characters -- and I really wasn't expecting that ending. Great stuff!
(review of free book)
Review by: Horror Fanatic on Jan. 14, 2011 :
Really enjoyed this piece. Couldn't stop reading till the very end.
(review of free book)
Review by: David Drazul on Jan. 9, 2011 :
Good story! Certainly didn't expect that ending. One suggestion: find an editor or join a peer review group. There are grammatical errors that could easily be weeded out with a second pair of eyes. Keep writing! There's a solid foundation you can build on.
(review of free book)
Review by: Tom Raimbault on Jan. 3, 2011 :
This is the second story of Ian Woodhead that I've been exposed to, his first being Spore. I'm beginning to notice a certain influence of H.P Lovecraft in Woodhead's style of horror. But don't take that to mean that Woodhead strives to write in the classic style that many Lovecraftian writers attempt. No, Ian Woodhead is definitely a modern-day, self-made writer with creativity that of his own. I make the Lovecraft connection because both stories I've read of his illustrate eerie realities brought on by mysterious, vile invaders such as sickly, contagious fungus or, in this case, mysterious lumps that creep and crawl along surfaces.
The only thing I'll reveal about the plot of Lumps is the fact that a boy notices the family home to be under attack by mysterious lumps. But no one in the family will believe the boy's account of these. The story soon took on an element of mystery for me as I wondered what these lumps were. Was the boy simply having ocular migraines? Did he have a brain injury that caused visual distortions? Or were these supernatural invaders that could only be detected by the eyes of a young person?
I liked Woodhead's play on psychedelic influence midway in the story. At some point, an entire room had become violently under attack by these lumps as they made geometric shapes along the walls. The boy suspected that perhaps his older sister had put hallucinogenic drugs in his food, and simply waited for the effects of those supposed drugs to wear off.
But all of this is only half of the terror. Just wait, that's all I can say! Oh, and "Wow..."
As an American reader, I also find I have a fascination with Woodhead's subtle revealing of British culture. He doesn't do this intentionally, of course. Ian is only writing from a place and culture that he is part of. But I paid close attention to characters that exclaimed catch phrases identifiably as British. At some point, an untalented, amateur comedian appeared on some TV show. I could actually see the show and shenanigans on the TV and could actually imagine a family home in the U.K watching it. And the main character enjoyed some interesting meals that I've never even imagined.
I give the story 5 stars! I hope that the author continues to dream up this style of horror and give us more!

Tom Raimbault
Chicago, Illinois
(review of free book)
Review by: Steven Beltzer on Dec. 22, 2010 :
Very clever and well put together. Ian's direction with his short fiction is fun, grabs the reader's attention and leaves them hunting fore title by him.
(review of free book)
Review by: torchwood on Nov. 5, 2010 :
Brilliant Ending!
(review of free book)
Review by: Jo Novotny on Nov. 4, 2010 :
I liked it. And I like free!
(review of free book)
Review by: Garry Charles on Oct. 12, 2010 :
Ian is a bright new star within the horror genre and I, for one, will be keeping a close eye on him... You should too
(review of free book)
Review by: David Jeffery on Oct. 11, 2010 :
Traditional Woodhead blend of dysfunction and chilling whimsy. A great read.
(review of free book)
Review by: Bec Lewis on Oct. 7, 2010 :
Very enjoyable. I was gripped, and had to keep reading to see how it would all end.
(review of free book)
Review by: Stuart Neild on Oct. 7, 2010 :
Ian Woodhead is building up a very nice trade in short stories here on smashwords.
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