Think of the world's most grumpy, irascible, miserable, solitary, dark-hearted, miserable SOB you could ever possibly imagine... And then there's me - ten times worse than the worst you could ever dream up.
I really am an appalling human being. I'm almost as atrociously appalling as a politician - just without the trail of corpses that they leave behind themselves everywhere they go.
Have I any redeeming features at all? Hmm, let me think about that. I suppose I could at least claim to be honest. Well, most of the time, or at least as honest as any other human is ever likely to be.
If you want to stick around and read any of these literary masterpieces (no, don't laugh, it's not nice), you're welcome.