This book is a written account of my personal experience with schizophrenia. The book starts from the time when I heard the first voice, to after the discharge of my third hospitalization. The fact that schizophrenia is diagnosed primarily by observation meant that the psychiatrist thought I was well when I was really not, leading to an extremely long journey. More
This is a personal memoir I wrote about my personal experience being treated for schizophrenia. A month before my fifteenth birthday, I was hospitalized due to the fact that I thought my parents wanted to kill me. Six months prior to this was the first time I had a hallucination of any sorts. At first I would hear people making rude comments about me or being hypercritical of me. As the hallucinations became more and more ridiculous, I continued to believe them, because otherwise what I had believed in the past would not make any sense. I was in the hospital for about a month before I was discharged, but I was still ill, because from the outside I seemed to function normally. To make things worse, I continued to have hallucinations that told me to isolate myself from others, for the greater cause. After many other strange incidents, I ended up in the hospital for the second time around. This time, I knew I was schizophrenic and taking meds for it, but I thought I was already “cured”. During that time I ended up putting myself on a medication that made me go insane and against the doctor’s advice. The medication I was taking right after my first discharge was increased, and I was discharged for the second time. Yet even after these two hospitalizations I was still not well. Since there are no brain scans that can be done to determine if one has schizophrenia—the diagnoses is through observation, and from the outside, I seemed well. But after enduring walking through a creek in early spring and riding the bus all night, then admitting myself into hospital, simply because the voices in my head told me to do so. Luckily, this is the last time I went before my relapse. I was sent to a long term mental institution afterwards, by the request of my psychiatrist at the time. I actually almost made it out of there still being ill. But I ended up having hallucinations to stop taking my medication, which put the staff there on high alert. Then, after experiencing electro-convulsive therapy and getting put on the strongest medication out there, I was functioning well again. I would like to mention that I did relapse once, due to some poor decisions on my part, as well as the environment I was in at the time. That is documented as well. I hope you enjoy this book.
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