You Are The Monster

Rated 4.00/5 based on 6 reviews
Short story in which YOU are the monster, as you roam your lair killing and eating all who enter. That is until he shows up.

Inspired by the sword and sorcery fantasy gaming books by Steve Jackson and Ian Livingstone. A story told as if YOU are the monster.

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About Jonathan Antony Strickland

You really want me to reveal personal information here?
O.K then... here's some stuff you might (or might not) like to know about me!

Well for starters you can contact me on

My Hobbies:
1_Are you bored. Then do what I do. Take off all your clothes and paint your face and arse bright blue. Then run outside and shout abuse at passers-by... passes the time if nothing else!
2_Managed 18 keepy ups with ye old pigs bladder once....What's that you say? Not that impressive! Well... what I failed to tell you was that the pigs bladder that I did the 18 keepy ups with, was still inside the pig!
3_Not pissing on the evil that is Milthy Swinebuckle, if he were ever to catch fire
4_Scratching my arse!
5_Watching Milthy get his arse kicked by a three legged tortoise...HA !!!
6_Scratching my arse and..oh wait I've already said that! Ah, what the hell. It's a good one so I'll say it again.
7_???? **** ???? with **** then ?*?*!
8_Wondering what I'm doing during hobby seven?

MY most prized possession: Hitler's missing left testicle (NOT FOR SALE).

My most famous quotes:
1_A step in the right direction can still mean the death of an ant!
2_I look down on almost everybody...although come to think about it, it's probably because I do climb a lot of trees!
3_You know that poem "if", what a load of crap. Kipling got it all wrong. What he should have said was "If you can portray the ideas you get to a sober man (no matter how shite though's ideas may be), and keep a straight face. Then you'll be a man MA SON!
4_HMMMMMM........I think I'll eat my socks!
5_MMMMM.......cheese and onion flavour .........NNNNIIIICCCCEEE!!!!
6_Ignore the above quote's and instead just read and live your life by number 7.
7 As far as I'm concerned you should not judge a fellow person on their looks, sex, race or beliefs. There are only two types of people: 1_Everyday ordinary people who just want to get on with their lives and not bother anybody else...2_The preachers, the arseholes and the gobshites, who want to tell you what to do, what you should be doing and how you should be doing it.

My favourite words:...knickers, bra's, boobs, bums, knockers, shit, shite, bollicks, twat, boobs (such a good word it needed to be said twice), gussets, stains, ugabalooga, randy, stodgeflaps, fgkgkujhghrewh, and TURD!!! That's TURD... Got it? No? Then I'll say it again, just in case you missed it...T.U.R.D

My Arch Enemies:
1_Milthy Swinebuckle....Beware he who sneaks, creeps, squawks and chortles. He who goes by many names. Names such as... Archibald Stott, Feagus the mostly squidgy, Terrance the quite nasty tormentor etc... but to me he will always be Milthy Swinebuckle (or if I meet him face to face... ARSEWIPE!)
2_Mr.Hairy Monkfish... Swinebuckle's main henchman (and suspected bumchum)
3_Randy Stodgeflaps... not much to say about this guy except he is one of Swinebuckle's best mates and a bit of a ballbag!

Charity work.....Milthy Swinebuckle has been infected with writers tourettes. Only I can help him. I really hope I don't catch it though, as every few words he writes he can't stop himself writing words like..."KNICKERS" or"ARSE" or some other filth. It takes him a good twenty minutes to write and edit a single sentence. I really "NADS" feel sorry "BOOBS" for the "GUSSETS" poor guy......"B...BB...BBB BOTOMSSS, ARSEHOLES, PANTS,......Oh bugger!"

PS: Does anyone actually read any of this personal information shit?

Also by This Author


Review by: James Jenkins on Jan. 28, 2017 :
Nice spin on an old tale.
(review of free book)
Review by: James Hold on Sep. 14, 2015 :
An interesting look at the minotaur legend.
(review of free book)
Review by: Shawn O'Toole on Sep. 23, 2013 :
Empathetic drama from the other side of the adventure! I felt for the monster, seeing him as a lonely soul forsaken by all. His anguish upon seeing himself was so powerfully poignant! Though a "monster" to his victims and enemy, he is alive with thoughts and feelings. Though inhuman, he is a person. I loved that his victims and the hero were not vilified to create this sympathy. The story was honest in its twist of perspectives. ALSO: I enjoyed discovering the inspiration of this wonderful tale. The love shows: I felt it.
(review of free book)
Review by: Walter Lazo on June 20, 2013 :
A very risky and tricky writing style is here employed to great effect by Mr. Strickland, creating sympathy and understanding for what would otherwise have been nothing more than an incomprehensible beast. Although this story is heavily influenced by Greek myths, it reminded me strongly of Lovecraft's The Outsider. This is a good, strong, emotionally resonant story.
(review of free book)
Review by: Michael Carter on June 19, 2013 :
Striking title and a cool inventive little story; the author takes a tricky present-tense writing style and makes it compelling by making the reader the monster. The whole story is enticing and reminiscent of the adventure-game books that Jonny mentions in his enjoyable afterword, but the ending is unexpected and, I thought, very clever, giving a fresh new angle on the subject.

I've talked to the author at length about adventure game books; I came to the Lone Wolf books first [through a junior-school teacher] but soon started collecting the Fighting Fantasies, so beloved of children and teens in the 80's and 90's.

This story is a very afectionate tribute and has impelled me to find "Creature Of Havoc" from my shelves; I'm playing it now and it's great how- -- Oh bugger, I've just been eaten by a Clawbeast!
(review of free book)
Review by: Rob Wilkins on June 18, 2013 :
A nice little tale, and a pleasant throw-back to the game-books of old. I played through many of these myself, though my favourites were not the Fighting Fantasy books of Jackson/Livingstone, but the Lone Wolf books by Joe Dever. (Those play out sequentially rather than the standalone adventures of Fighting Fantasy, though; so if you ever find them in a charity shop, bear that in mind.)

Anyway! A nice little story, and also a nice homage to two of the greatest game designers of all time, not to mention the Athenian chap himself of course. A lovely intrusion into my morning schedule, and far more appealing than what I was actually supposed to be doing.
(review of free book)
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