A Greasy Spoon Life

Rated 4.89/5 based on 18 reviews
It's a difficult stressful week when you start talking to your cutlery...

A crazy, silly, funny and sad story about a poor depressed spoon.

Have a free chuckle today, and never be comfortable in your kitchen again.

A story of 2300 words. More
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Words: 2,340
Language: English
ISBN: 9781301548026
About Michael Carter





I'm a writer of mainly horror, science-fiction and fantasy stories, and live with my wife and cats in County Durham, England. When I'm not being a full-time registered carer, I enjoy writing, reading, watching films and TV, drinking good beer with good friends, and collecting rejection letters.

My horror/fantasy story "Lach Nach N'Gai, With Salad" is to appear in the anthology, "OUR WORLD OF HORROR", soon to be published by Eldritch Press. Other stories [and occasional poem] have been published in small press magazines and e-zines including, "The Colored Lens", "Cthulhu Cultus", "Dark Legacy", "Dread", "Pop Fiction", "The Domain", "The Ancient Track", "Blue Silver Dementia"; "Frightnet", "Nightscapes", "Dark Portal", "Magnetic Fiction" "alt.ghoststories.", "Writers Dungeon", and "Raise The Dead".

My many influences include H.P.Lovecraft, Stephen King, Clark Ashton Smith, Thomas Ligotti, Angela Carter, Sue Townsend and many more.

Of the stories here, UNCONTAINABLE is the most recently written while HUNTING COMP, OBLIVIOUS and CONS go back to the mid 1990's.

Thanks to all who have downloaded, read or reviewed my stories. Like most writers [some don't give a hoot], any feedback is very important to me, and I appreciate every review.

Comments, queries, or correspondence can be sent off to mickcarter1978@gmail.com or on Twitter @mickcarter78


The next story to be published here will be ???

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Review by: James Jenkins on June 04, 2017 :
A bit strange, but fun and different
(review of free book)

Review by: Gretchen Ross on June 01, 2017 :
(review of free book)

Review by: Oliver Cordwell on May 31, 2017 :
Was sent a link to this story by a friend. I enjoyed it and I think YOU will too (hint hint)
(review of free book)

Review by: Jennifer Hampton on May 31, 2017 :
A spoonful of wonderful comedy. :)
(review of free book)

Review by: James Riddel on May 29, 2017 :
I love funny little stories so this one appealed to me.
(review of free book)

Review by: Jeremy Rollins on May 29, 2017 :
There's only one thing you have to remember, there is no spoon hehe sorry couldn't help myself.
(review of free book)

Review by: Taylor Jensen on May 26, 2017 :
funny little read.
(review of free book)

Review by: Phillip Christie on May 23, 2017 :
Deceptively deep for such a little story, funny and moving at times.
(review of free book)

Review by: Ivy Archer on May 19, 2017 :
Funny stuff, reminded me of that other hilariously absurd British writer, Richard Batchelor.
(review of free book)

Review by: Tristan Reid on May 15, 2017 :
(review of free book)

Review by: Vanessa Rausa on May 09, 2017 :
So silly and yet so funny too.
(review of free book)

Review by: Martin Wakefield on April 26, 2017 :
ridiculously short and ridiculously funny.
(review of free book)

Review by: Lorraine Allison on Dec. 11, 2016 :
Ha, ha, ha! entertaining.
(review of free book)

Review by: Adelise M Cullens on July 04, 2013 :
Loved it. Thought it was great! So funny. So random and strange. I want more craziness.
(review of free book)

Review by: Jonathan Antony Strickland on June 30, 2013 :
What the...No giant squid god!

To say this story is a little different to Mick's other stories is putting it mildly (unless of course Lovecraft wrote a series of stories that I'm unaware of, involving alein killer spoons from beyond Uranus, who worship a mega ultra giant killer spoon called something like Cthspoonulhu, who sends his minions forward to invade our lovely little blue planet, then nicking our jobs, shagging our women, and poisoining our SOUP with there filthy rotting wooden faces! YA UGLY WOODEN SWINES, I hope you all catch dutch elm disease!!!).

The story itself is about a guy who buys a spoon and...well the rest is a bit hard to explain. It is one of those stories where it's easier to read it than explain it. But it is well worth a read.

Some good one liners, and a witty ending make this a different kind of appetiser if you just fancy reading something short and quick to put a smile on your face and brighten your day.


I'd originally given this story a 4 star review, but after seeing that everyone else had rated it 5 stars I decided to give it another read (the first read being interupted twice...Once from having to actually rush out and meet Mick (the writer of this story)in Durham for our weekly drinking and chatting about all sorts of bollicks session. The second being because I had put some chips on, totally forgotting about them as I started reading the story from where I'd left it...all I can say is thank god for fire alarms!).

With this second read I got more of the jokes as I do think I missed a few good lines first time around. I also think the writer should be awarded for writing something out of his comfort zone. As he points out himself in the afterword, and believe me there's not a demon, ghost, goblin or any other such nasty about. It's also inspired me to write a silly story (something I used to do a lot, lately the stuff I've been writing is more serious and run of the mill gloom). However, because of this I have decided to upgrade my review to 5 star.

The other good thing about upgrading my review to 5 stars is that this should now make "A Greasy Spoon Life" Mick's most highly rated story. This means that (with a bit of luck) in the future he will become known as that guy who wrote about the funny greasy spoon, with the spoon story far overshadowing his Lovecraft stories and other more serious tales. And hopefully he will pick up the nickname "the guy with the greasy spoon".

This indeed I would find most amusing.....(fingers crossed!)
(review of free book)

Review by: Daryn Walters on June 29, 2013 :
HaaaHaa Just what I needed in a Sunday afternoon....you mad buggar.
(review of free book)

Review by: Rob Wilkins on June 28, 2013 :
*** Spoiler Alert ***

*** Seriously, Spoiler Alert, Don't Read Me Yet If You Haven't Read The Story ***


*** Come On Now, Take Me Seriously, It's A Spoiler I Tell You ***


*** Fine, Well, You Can't Say I Didn't Warn You ***


Yes. Ahem. Anyway, all that's necessary, because I have to say this:

"I took the spoon out into the woods and shot him."

...is without doubt the best line of fiction I've read all month. Magnificently ridiculous, I loved it.
(review of free book)

Review by: Emily Carter on June 27, 2013 :
What can I say? I wasn't completely sure I had the right Michael Carter there for a while.... But definitely mad, funny and worth a read!!! Think he was a little harsh on the spoon though-surely it could of been rehabilitated?!!
(review of free book)

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