Notes on finding peace and laughter in the chaos of parenting. More
I’m on quest. I long to be a peaceful, loving mama, filled with patience and humor and quick to expel all things that make my soul feel sticky and gross. I want to be a peacemaker in my world. Is it possible? Am I simply a hopeful, idealistic sap who thinks we can all live happily together in the chaos of daily life, when the outside world is indifferent and often cruel? Can our home be a safe haven always? And can I accomplish this by loving the heck out of my mayhem and being constantly thankful for my three little women and the chaos they bring? You can’t love your mayhem every moment of every day. You can’t avoid the fear and the doubt when it sneaks in quietly or comes barreling down the hallway like a bull. You can’t avoid it all, but you can continue to search for the peace, the joy and the grace in the small moments of motherhood where life IS. There may not be a crowd cheering you on as you embrace the wildness, but know that what you are doing is nothing less than heroic. We may feel as if the mayhem is threatening to swallow us up and drag us away into the deep dark depths, where many a stray sock has landed, lost forever with our sharp minds. Time seems to disappear within the black hole of mothering. We go in a young, fresh new moms and come out wrinkled like linen with streaks of grey and strange dimples on our thighs. We are tired to the core and disoriented from the constant spinning, spinning, spinning of life. Maybe we can love this life together, not perfectly, but in a real live human way, with ups and down and darkness and light, falling and failing and getting up and taking flight. This quest of mine continues. This little book contains my notes from the path. They shouldn’t be taken at all seriously. They could be rules, but that feels confining and I despise everything that attempts to put parenting, life and womanhood in a neat little box. So they are merely notes, reminders of how we can accept and enjoy our sweet little mayhem makers as we learn, laugh and live together.