The Note

Rated 4.95/5 based on 19 reviews
This short story is a true story about one morning when I was five hours late for work. Unfortunately, it was on a job I had just started. My best friend kept me 'til the wee hours, and I must've turned off the alarm. In my 20-year-old brilliance, I thought if I got a doctor's note then everything would be fine. When I got to the hospital and reported food poisoning . . . More

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Words: 2,500
Language: English
ISBN: 9781301412150
About Mark Elswick

Mark Elswick has been a teacher, tutor, sportswriter, college professor, and author. Despite overcoming a life-threatening auto accident in 1992, perseverance and dedication kept him in the writing game. The title of “author” didn’t come until late-2011 when Modern History Press (MHP) published his first book, “Padman,” a collection of 13 shorts stories. Afterward, he ventured onto the independent scene. That two-year chapter of his writing career also saw months of podcast hosting and public speaking while he was self-publishing three novels and some short stories. Elswick recently returned to MHP and his first biography is currently in the works.

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Review by: TiraPlum1 on May 30, 2018 :
The narrator has a genuinely funny way of telling a story on the page. It has a conversational feel, like you are talking with a friend who has a great sense of humor. There are times when you think he's revealing the secrets of his soul. And yet, it is quite humorous the way it's mixed in with gags, puns, irony and one-line zingers. The story is told only the way a truly anal retentive person could tell it. By the way, I think the phrase is "poop chute" not "poop shoot" but it's possible the writer was going for a gag by calling his anus his "poop shoot."
(reviewed 2 days after purchase)

Review by: Jenna Snap on Feb. 08, 2017 :
I've been reading a lot of dense and really hard to pay attention to stories lately. So I was very happy this is a change of pace from where I have to re-read the paragraph. It was a very funny story that was written like he's my friend. Because I've had a butt-load (No pun intended...) of college guy friends who were capable of doing the same dumb ass thing. This story is meant to cheer up your day. I'm laughing to myself right now as I write this. Great writing and conversational style makes me smile and believe me, I don't smile ever.
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: Victoria M. Patton on Feb. 05, 2017 :
I bought this because of the reviews. And they didn't lie. It made me laugh so freaking hard I cried and almost pissed my pants. If you are having a bad day, read this. Well worth the purchase. I intend to read his other books. Too damn funny!!!
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: Steven Jon Halasz on June 06, 2015 :
Compelling and engaging.
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: Barb Sohn on Jan. 03, 2014 :
OMG Mark can really keep you in stiches laughing about his funny and enjoyable life choices of bloopers and makes you think God was I ever this way? For Mark to laugh and tell the world about stuff like is awesome, I only wish I could see his face while telling these stories because I think I would not only be laughing with him but rolling on the floor.
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: hey69nan on Dec. 24, 2013 :
Loved it, I almost died laughing can't wait for more.
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: Janet Hutchison on Oct. 09, 2013 :
Author Mark Elswick never ceases to amaze me. From beginning to end it feels like you are right there with him! Looking forward to many more of his writings. He definitely has what it takes to be a recognized author. LOVE his humor. Keep up the fantastic work!!
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: Jennifer Earhart on Oct. 08, 2013 :
I really love the writing style of Author Mark Elswick! Always want to keep reading. This author never lets a reader down. Expect humor and inspiration when reading books from this talented author.
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: Sheley Evfka on Oct. 06, 2013 :
Hilarious! Mark is a very gifted writer. Can't wait to read more!
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: Jodi Eaton on Sep. 28, 2013 :
This was really fun to read! Mark's sense of humor amazes me and he has the funniest ways of saying things! I highly recommend this!
(reviewed 5 days after purchase)

Review by: Brian Vock on Sep. 24, 2013 :
That is some funny .....uh well, lets just say that the note from start to finish is very well written and entertainingly hilarious!!!
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: leslie larkin on Sep. 23, 2013 : (no rating)
LOL that was great mark good ole bill LMAO
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: Sandy Vock on Sep. 22, 2013 :
I thought Padman, A Dad's Guide to Buying THOSE and other tales was funny... The Note, is HYSTERICAL! I haven't laughed like that from reading a story in some time! Looking forward to the The Note II!
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: Debbie Herndon on Sep. 21, 2013 :
Too funny!!! I loved the book. I hope you are happy now I read The Note. My next read will be Faith. I love your "real life" stories.
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: George Warson, Jr on Sep. 19, 2013 :
Very funny! Anyone in the age group can relate. Very captivating and enjoyable reading. MUST read. They keep getting better.
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: Heather Dixon on Sep. 19, 2013 :
Amazingly funny and relatable for anyone who has endured the necessity of those "violating" medical examinations we all love to hate. The mental pictures you get as you read the details are full of promises for huge belly laughs. I'm still giggling just picturing it all! Great job yet again Mark Elswick!!
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: S. Holden on Sep. 18, 2013 :
Much like "Padman, A Dad's Guide to Buying Those and other tales", Mark Elswick's latest writing "The Note", follows suit in delivering humor through humility in every day experiences that we can all relate to. In usual fashion for this author, it surrounds fears that most men hate to admit. (Visiting doctors and exploration of their nether regions). Elswick shares a very funny moment in his life in a way of saying, "Buck up brothers, this has to be done" to his fellow menfolk in rounding out that in all seriousness, the need to get examined as a way to be proactive in our own health. Cheers to another hilarious edition in the Elswick library!
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: Susan Mallory on Sep. 17, 2013 :
OMG!!!!! HAHA, keep up with the great work Els. This story makes you wanting to keep reading that is for sure. Can't wait for the next one, you are such a nut.
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: Stacy Johnson on Sep. 17, 2013 :
OMG TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY CHEEKS! Funniest story I've read in a while! Very relatable. This is a must must must read! Thanks for the belly laugh Mark!
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: Darla Smela on Sep. 17, 2013 :
On a subject we women are so familiar with, Elswick has told a "tail", (pun intended) of home invasion of the most personal kind. From beginning to end, in his personal, conversational style, I was only missing the author sitting in front of me as I shared his experiences , The best stories are those told on ourselves, and he does so with the best of humor while also sending an important message to his fellow men. Laughed like a silly fool from beginning to end, there arestill tears in my eyes..... DO NOT MISS this read from the heart and.....well.... we will just leave it at that...... FIVE PLUS STARS FOR THIS ONE....
(reviewed the day of purchase)
(reviewed the day of purchase)

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