Captured To Become A Vampire Prince's Bride

Arianne Rosalina DeWynters, found herself in trouble one evening while she was exploring the park with her best friend. Two guys showed up, and kidnap her. Taking her to another place- almost another world, where she has to marry a Vampire prince of a place called Nox Aterrima,. It was a place unusual to Arianne, but she'd have to get used to it because soon, she'd be the Queen.
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Price: Free!

Published: Oct. 01, 2013
Words: 38,710
Language: British English
ISBN: 9781301143467


Review by: J L R Webbie on Oct. 11, 2013 : (no rating)
Long story short, this books needs some work. Grammatically, certain phrases are used ad nauseum, for example, every character "smirks" There can be as many as 4 "smirks" per kindle page! Some of the dialogue lacks clairty as to who is speaking as well, the author gives no indication someone new is coming in until after they speak, which causes some confusion. Also, clearly some characters had their names changed through the course of the writing, one of the character's is "Jayden:, but sometimes he is referred to as "Joseph" and there was another name once, but I forget what it was, so this is an issue that needs addressed. However, that being said, this book is currently listed as a free book on Smashwords so perhaps the author plans to edit it at a later date.

Now for the less technical grammary stuff and more into plot and characters. As a matter of personal opinion, I find the characters rather unrealistic in their reactions and behaviors, especially the human leading lady; and there is virtually no character development. I don't care how crappy your home life is, there is no possible way a normal, healthy young woman would accept being kidnapped and her best friend killed in front of her with so little negative reaction. She has her moments, of course, but as a whole the big reaction doesn't come until she has already been in her new home for MONTHS!It also really irks me how a big recurring theme is "what kind of person Alex (the leading man) is", but we never get a straight answer. Basically, this book is not marketable in its current state, it needs an overhaul grammatically and structurally as a whole. It is relatively short so it may be a work in progress but I would not recommend this one to anyone in its current state.
(review of free book)

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