1. I am a mother who loves all children and who has no children… anymore.
2. I am four, nine, seventeen, thirty-five, and fifty-eight years old. This is because I have had many years of school in the sciences and math, but none in the matters that affect me the most now. Each age represents a stage from which I am a current student in life.
3. I have memories of being respected by professional peers and family from a life I no longer want and can no longer have. I have a life being successful at a job and the friendship of my partner, and the crucial support which I have found in new friends; which may have saved me.
4. I love so very many people but if I am loved at all, it is by my small circle of close friends; most of whom I do love sincerely, but have never met in person.
5. I lived in fear of almost everyone in my immediate environment. I had done nothing wrong, but they saw me as ‘different’ and not equal to them. My very simple and fragile life was about maintaining anonymity yet using my imagination to help to make life better for everyone.
6. I have learned to love those I had feared and to gain strength by that lesson. I have only just started my new life in 2012, four years after the date that I thought I had started it.
7. I feel happier than I had ever thought possible.