Define Your Relationship Numerically: Making Sense of the Ten Step Between Meeting a Person and Marrying Them
Late one summer night, Natalie and Stevie discovered the secret to relationships: Stop defining them with words; start defining them with numbers. This short, humorous book will guide you through the 10 steps that any relationship can take, from acquaintance (step 1) to happily married (step 10). More
Late one summer night, Natalie and Stevie discovered the secret to relationships. What was the secret?
Stop defining them with words; start defining them with numbers.
People hide behind words in relationships; they let words like "love", "girlfriend", and "serious" go undefined. They are so afraid to talk about the future that they can't enjoy the present. They talk to any friend who will listen about every detail of their relationship...without talking to the person who is in the relationship with them.
Through years of real-life testing and anecdotal research, Natalie Mills and Stevie Thomas have honed in on the 10 steps that any romantic relationship can have. Moving from acquaintance (step 1) all the way to happily married (step 10), they talk through the messy dating stages and the even messier pre-dating stages. Learn how to define your relationship with their scale, and help your friends define their relationships as well.
This short, humorous book will also teach you the nuances of each relationship step. You'll learn how to tell if he or she is flirty or flirsty, what makes someone a rebound dater, and the best places to look for love.
Don't let your life be ruled by undefined relationships; define your relationships the right way...define them numerically.
A bit from the book:
A friend once pointed out that people don't usually describe themselves as “just friends” unless they are actually more than friends but not willing to admit it. If you're friends with someone, you say you are friends. If there is something else going on, you brush it off with a hint of defensiveness, saying you are just friends.
Or, in other words, you are at step 3, "friends." (To be said with heavy use of air quotes and eye-rolling.)
Helping you learn the distinction between friends and "friends" is one of the most important tasks of this book. Too often, we wander into this type of relationally-charged "friendship" without preparing ourselves for the potential outcomes. It's possible that we will move forward on the wings of Steps 4 and beyond. Or we might find ourselves staring at a silent phone multiple nights in a row, realizing only now that we are looking at a Step 3 relationship that has shriveled and died.
Signs You Are "Just Friends" (Step 3)
Are you and this person frequently mean to each other in jest? Do you mock each other easily but never with malice? Are you prone to steal from each other or vandalize the other person's possessions?
Examples include: She steals his coat to wear when she's cold. He leaves notes in her notebook when she's not around. She mocks him for being colorblind. He teases her for how gullible she is.
Do your friends roll their eyes when you mention this person?
Friends usually know first. Often, the signs are more obvious to your observing friends than they are to you.
Do you have multiple inside jokes?
An inside joke is like a car on a road trip. The fewer people in the car, the more intimate it is.
If you've got your siblings, a few friends, and a dog all in on your inside joke, there's limited potential of you and this girl getting flirty over it.
But if it's just the two of you in that car and you've got a good mix of music and six hours of driving ahead of you, anything can happen. If the two of you have multiple inside jokes, that's the emotional equivalent of taking tons of road trips together. Watch out, if your friends haven't warned you yet; you are most likely at step 3, "friends".
To read more of the book, click "Look Inside."
Are you ready to start cleaning up your messy relationships? To start helping your friends on the path to relationship recovery? Scroll up, click buy, and get started.
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