marriage in heaven
HOW TO REBUILD TRUST
Steve : “I never imagined that Jodi would commit adultery. I lost all trust in her. Words
cannot describe how difficult it was for me to forgive her.”
Jodi: “I understand why I lost Steve’s trust. It took many years for me to prove my regret.”
THE Bible gives victims of adultery the option to decide whether to divorce or not. *
(Matthew 19:9) Steve, quoted above, decided not t More
HOW TO FORGIVE
When you and your spouse argue, you often bring up the past, rehashing a list of old
grievances that should have been settled long ago. The problem? One or both of you may
not know how to forgive.
You can learn. First, though, consider why a husband and wife may find it so difficult to
forgive each other.
It takes only the fear of God to be able to forgive. Consequently, those who go into marriage
should do so in the fear of God. Marriage is a divine call. An environment where the fear of
God is lacking, is self destructive.
WHY IT HAPPENS
Power. Some husbands and wives withhold forgiveness to maintain a sort of power over
their spouse. Then, when a conflict arises, they use a past event as a trump card to gain the
Resentment. The scars of a past offense can take a long time to heal. A spouse might say ‘I
forgive you’ but still harbor resentment for what happened—perhaps craving to get even.
Disappointment. Some people enter marriage fully believing that life will be like a fairy-tale
romance. So when a disagreement arises, they dig in their heels, wondering just how their
“perfect match” could possibly see things from a different point of view. Unrealistic
expectations can make a person more prone to find fault and less inclined to forgive.
Misunderstanding. Many spouses withhold forgiveness because they misunderstand what
extending it will mean. For example:
If I forgive, I am minimizing the wrong.
If I forgive, I have to forget what happened.
If I forgive, I am inviting further mistreatment.
Really, forgiving does not imply any of the foregoing. Still, extending forgiveness can be
difficult—especially in the close relationship between husband and wife
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