999 Bees in My Bonnet: A Collection of Irritating Irritants

Rated 5.00/5 based on 17 reviews
Bill Linden's been a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king (not to mention gag writer for major comic strips and Chicago Sun Times art director!). His many adventures have taught him a lot—about what drives him nuts! Whether it's the double-crossing staff at Traitor Joe’s, reptile dysfunction, "Northern" fried chicken, or seven-year jock itch, Bill's got a gripe to crack you up. More

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Words: 14,680
Language: English
ISBN: 9781310247521
About Bill Linden

Bill's occupations in previous lives include being a bitter and disillusioned graphic designer/art director for the Chicago Sun-Times, a bitter and disillusioned Hollywood screenwriter and a bitter and disillusioned gag writer for major comic strips. Bill's been a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king. Bill's been up and down and over and out, but he knows one thing—each time he finds himself flat on his face, Bill picks himself up and gets back in the race.

When not writing gags, photographing Chicago or being bitter and disillusioned, Bill finds his charity work with the elderly quite rewarding. Once a week he takes his dear, feeble, white-haired mother, Josephine, to Denny's for a "Moons Over My Hammy".

Bill has no vices. His hobbies include smoking, drinking and Facebooking 24/7.

Bill lives way beyond his means with his current sexy redheaded missus, Karen, in a fancy-but- not-schmancy downtown Chicago hi-rise run by Hitler's Youth.

Bill lives by the motto, "If you can't beat 'em, mock 'em, then ridicule 'em on the Facebook Social Media Network until they unfriend and block you."


Review by: tpeigh on March 28, 2014 :
Ok. Where do i send 50 bucks....for that's what this book is really worth. Yes, it's very , very funny...and will surely brighten your day. Now i have to wait for the sequel. Well done, Mr. Bill. 6 Stars
(reviewed 2 days after purchase)

Review by: Dave Hoekstra on March 24, 2014 :
This book floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee.
And it is funnier than Twitter to me.
A landmark work from Chicago's Champion of Fun.
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: nanci obrien on March 24, 2014 :
WOW! What a hoot. It's not often a book can deliver so many laughs. In the future whenever I'm sad or need a lift this will be my go-to book! LUV LUV LUV it!
(reviewed 5 days after purchase)

Review by: Boyd McDowell on March 24, 2014 :
Do you need a laugh? A couple laughs? How about 999 laughs? That's what you'll get when you read this gem by Chicago's funnyman. Don't put a bee in my bonnet by failing to purchase this book. It's a gem that just keeps on sparkling!
(reviewed 4 days after purchase)

Review by: Elaine Soloway on March 24, 2014 :
I'm grateful to have a coffee table companion -- I lie, it's on my Kindle app -- that I can turn to when it's been a hard day. Bill Linden's new comic book, sans images, has me chuckling and nodding my head in agreement. Witty, sardonic, but actually, on target in many cases, Bill's 999 observations are delightful zingers that require memorizing -- stealing -- and repeating. Great buy at $4.99!
(reviewed 5 days after purchase)

Review by: NanciB on March 23, 2014 : (no rating)
Funny stuff from Chicago's funniest guy. 999 laughs for only $4.95 - it's an un-bee-lievable deal!
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: Christopher Reulbach on March 23, 2014 :
I am halfway through and had to stop because my sides are aching from laughing. Mr. BillĀ® has done it again... and again... and again... (add 996 more "and agains" to this). Chris
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: Al on March 23, 2014 :
Brilliant. This should be required reading for higher education or anyone wishing to become a US citizen.

I laughed until I cried, and wet myself just a little.
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: BrandiMcKoy on March 23, 2014 :
Funny guy writes funny book!!!! There really is not much better! You are an amazing inspiration for all of and I am proud to be your almost 40 year young daughter! Oh...but just one thing....a Smooches is a boy! How about #1,000: when people refer to your grand-dog Smooches as a girl! :-)
(reviewed 5 days after purchase)

Review by: Sharon Sanders on March 23, 2014 :
10 Stars if I could. There's a zinger in every bee stinger! We read them ALOUD and laugh so hard that we can barely finish the brilliant gags! Buy and chortle!!!
(reviewed 5 days after purchase)

Review by: Myra Travin on March 22, 2014 :
Bill is a comedy light in the darkness of our humdrum, everyday lives. Thank goodness he wrote this fun and fiesty tome. It just makes me happy to be alive. Don't burn this book!!
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: KerryLizon on March 22, 2014 :
This man does funny for money and deserves to be a billionaire. Lurve his delectable take on life's little (or BIG) irritants.
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: Patsy DeCline on March 20, 2014 :
Bill has done it again! I laughed so hard, I almost peed myself. I could not stop giggling on his take of the rock opera Tommy on Broadway and people passing by thought I was crazy. You must read this book! It will truly make your day much better.
(reviewed 2 days after purchase)

Review by: Jim Gorman on March 20, 2014 : (no rating)
I love this new e-book.This is adult reading and therefore, very funny. Bill seems to be upset about women who whistle and make crude remarks about construction workers, and gubernatorial elections 'cause he doesn't know what a "gubernor" is. Oh and my up to the moment fav "root canals that cost more than the Panama Canal" Only 5 bucks! Why haven't you bought it yet? I'm going back to reading. See ya!
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: andyw1969 on March 19, 2014 :
I've read lots of books, OK that's a lie! But, the few books I've read pale in comparison to Bill's opus 999 Bees in My Bonnet: A Collection of Irritating Irritants. All the funny things that float through his head during the day have been captured in this easy fun read. The daily human experience is captured in a triumph of love, slang and insanity. BRAVO!
(reviewed 2 days after purchase)

Review by: Paul Vagnoni on March 19, 2014 :
You can always count on Bill Linden to provide you with a laugh. Or a chuckle. Or even a guffaw. No topic is safe with "999 Bees in My Bonnet." If something ever annoyed Linden, you can count on it showing up somewhere between 1 and 999 and getting blasted in a hilarious manner. This book will leave you shaking your head and laughing out loud for quite awhile.
(reviewed 2 days after purchase)

Review by: ds88 on March 19, 2014 :
The original funny man Bil Linden has done it again! How can one person "bee" so funny. This book will have you laughing until your belly hurts from the very beginning to the end. Do yourself a favor, order this funny book, life is too short to not have a great laugh!
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: drjuj on March 19, 2014 :
Urban carrots! Diets and Krispy Kremes! Psychics and psychiatrists! You'll laugh, then laugh again, then steal his lines for your next toast. Two thumbs and all my toes up.
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: MiloSamardzija on March 18, 2014 :
Bill Linden is a Chicago treasure and now, with the publication of this wise and screamingly funny book, he's going nationwide. 999 Bees in My Bonnet is the work of a master humorist and a keen-eyed observer of the human condition. There are titters, giggles, and fall on the floor laughing until your face turns blue moments on every page. Do yourself a huge favor and grab a copy of this book. You'll be repeating some of Bill Linden's lines for years. And he won't mind a bit.
(reviewed the day of purchase)

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