How to Lose Money and Irritate People

Rated 4.99/5 based on 82 reviews
Do you hate your job? Ever find your mind wandering to things you know it shouldn't while at work and you're forced to deal with one annoying customer after the other? If so and you're looking for a laugh then this is the book for you! More

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Words: 81,950
Language: English
ISBN: 9781311370914
About Mikey Lee Ray

Hi there, Mikey Lee Ray here. I've been passionate about my writing since I started working on my first novel 'Pandora's Market' (published under the name Matthew Schafer in 2006). Since then I've published two full length e-books on Smashwords the first being 'Confessions of a Gaming Attendant' a diary / fiction piece where the protagonist works in the gambling industry and 'How to Lose Money and Irritate People.' While the second e-book had a similar story line it was more comedy based and descends often into fantasy and farce whereas 'COAGA' is more serious.

I began writing LSD at the end of 2012 and am now in the process of editing and re-working the first issues so that we can re-release them and then continuing on with new ones once this is done. I hope that you will take a look at some of these stories as I pride myself on my unique writing style, perspective and life experience. I look forward to hearing your feedback if you have read something I've written. - Sincerely, Mikey

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Review by: Richard Gunnell on Dec. 10, 2017 :
Not sure if I'm really in the age group that this particular book is targeted towards but all the same I thought it was pretty funny. A lot of my friends have been sucked in to playing these accursed machines and the way they act is not far off from what the author describes.
(reviewed 7 days after purchase)

Review by: Ricardo Torres on Dec. 10, 2017 :
I feel like the ending was a bit ambiguous but overall really enjoyed the story.
(reviewed 28 days after purchase)

Review by: Helena Rand on Dec. 10, 2017 :
If you like downtrodden narrators that you can relate to, characters that are extreme, comedy that's merciless and imagination this is the book for you.
(reviewed 59 days after purchase)

Review by: Nathan Dreyfuss on Dec. 09, 2017 :
One of the most original concepts I've enjoyed in a long while, keep it up Mikey.
(reviewed 36 days after purchase)

Review by: Stuart Mulligan, Jr on Dec. 09, 2017 :
There's definitely a lot of good laughs and jokes in here, a must read.
(reviewed 33 days after purchase)

Review by: Cassandra Moore on Dec. 07, 2017 :
Downloaded this ages ago but never got around to writing a review as exams and school got in the way... so here goes. Loved Mike as a narrator even though his behavior at times is pretty terrible you can see at work he's very much a product of his environment. In some ways he's as much a victim of the industry as the idiots playing the machines are. His 'breaks from reality' his 'imaginary scenes' or whatever you choose to call them for me are what make the book so funny.
(reviewed 36 days after purchase)

Review by: Madison Chambers II on Dec. 07, 2017 :
Humor, satire and sarcasm / cynicism in just the right dose, I loved it when Mikey made fun of Disney and Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (you'll have to read it for yourselves).
(reviewed 56 days after purchase)

Review by: Douglas Feldman on Dec. 07, 2017 :
Saw this advertised on Amazon as well, then I remembered I'd bought a copy ages ago here. Gives the pokie industry its just desserts and not a moment too soon. Funny, subversive and flies under the radar but powerful all the same. Tickles the funny bone.
(reviewed 7 months after purchase)

Review by: Diana Hampstead on Dec. 05, 2017 :
If you've ever worked in customer service / hospitality then you get where the jokes are coming from. Couldn't stop laughing at the ridiculous customers but feels just like real life, at least some of the people I've had to put up with at my jobs.
(reviewed 50 days after purchase)

Review by: John Middleton on Dec. 05, 2017 :
Just a great read and thought provoking commentary on a slice of society disguised as comedy,
(reviewed 29 days after purchase)

Review by: Jennifer Dixon on Dec. 03, 2017 :
Considering all the advertising for gambling on TV and everywhere else (even on facebook) I find something like this to be refreshingly honest and a real eye opener.
(reviewed 28 days after purchase)

Review by: Roland Anderson on Dec. 03, 2017 :
A cracking good read, if you like original ideas then this is for you.
(reviewed 29 days after purchase)

Review by: Jessie Belmont on Dec. 01, 2017 :
Obviously this has been written from the perspective of someone who has experience in the gambling / pokie industry. You know, as opposed to the glamorized and sugar coated version we see in the commercials which is always portrayed as being young, sexy and fun. This book was a riot and I loved it.
(reviewed 25 days after purchase)

Review by: Sebastian Cole on Nov. 30, 2017 :
A story unlike any other you'll read that's for sure. Hard to say if I was rooting for the protagonist but I did sympathize with him.
(reviewed 42 days after purchase)

Review by: Lauren Hollander on Nov. 27, 2017 :
Can't remember the last time I laughed this hard while reading something, this book is a classic. Mikey has a great way of creating memorable characters.
(reviewed 23 days after purchase)

Review by: Rochelle Pine on Nov. 24, 2017 :
Definitely my kind of comedy, if you like your humor dark, witty and edgy and you laugh at stuff like family guy, deadpool, rick and morty and others of that ilk you'll have a blast with this.
(reviewed 40 days after purchase)

Review by: Dawn McKay on Nov. 13, 2017 :
I do a lot of driving so I had this ebook on my iPhone and played it through the speakers on my car through an app. It really is that funny, I think it helps that i heard this swearing, black humor and all in a proper English accent which makes Julius all the funnier.
(reviewed 8 days after purchase)

Review by: Ian Wallace on Nov. 06, 2017 :
Darn funny, anarchic, chaotic, madness in a bottle.
(reviewed 13 days after purchase)

Review by: Simon Forrester on Nov. 05, 2017 :
Someone told me the 100th reviewer gets a free ebook, was I close? No. Oh well. This book's awesome. A comedy gold mine from an author who clearly knows the business like few others do.
(reviewed 17 days after purchase)

Review by: Faith Porter on Nov. 05, 2017 :
Julius is by far the funniest character, you can't help but sympathize with him. All the characters are like that though. They make the story so good.
(reviewed 5 months after purchase)

Review by: Eliza Fanning on Nov. 05, 2017 :
A friend on facebook suggested this one to me, I think it's a must read for anyone who has ever had a job they hated... and let's face it at one time or another that's almost all of us lol. Feel sorry for Mike.
(reviewed 17 days after purchase)

Review by: Patrick Stampler on Nov. 04, 2017 :
Saw this online and read the sample, was hooked from there. If you like your comedy on the dark side with brutal honesty then this is the book for you. Damn funny.
(reviewed 20 days after purchase)

Review by: James Ferguson on Oct. 20, 2017 :
Has all the makings of an underground indie hit.
(reviewed 5 months after purchase)

Review by: abigail madison on Oct. 19, 2017 :
Hysterical, this book it's one of those so crazy it must be true at times kind of things I think.
(reviewed 5 months after purchase)

Review by: Brooke Fairfield on Oct. 18, 2017 :
I'm not going to go all gen Y and say this book made me LOL, I'm just going to say there's lots of laughs in it and as a woman working in hospitality I know what it's like to be Kate and to be in a boys club. I felt she was a good character and i'd like to see her developed more in a follow up... pretty please?
(reviewed 4 months after purchase)

Review by: Oliver Cordwell on Oct. 17, 2017 :
Downloaded a sample from a facebook page and read the rest from there. This is a story you just sink into always waiting for the next twist and never quite sure what the main players are about to do. Loved it.
(reviewed 5 months after purchase)

Review by: Michael Hunter II on Oct. 17, 2017 :
Mikey's wit is both caustic, acidic, blunt, brutal and yet downright hilarious... will get inside your mind like some of the other books I enjoy.
(reviewed 4 months after purchase)

Review by: Robert Giampalo on Aug. 03, 2017 :
A few phrases come to mind as I try and sum up the experience of this book but I'm going to go with 'theater of the absurd.' Extreme, with both light and dark humor it's a story that picks you up and carries you along, dragging you through a madcap world of crazy characters in wild and often hilarious situations. What's next?
(reviewed 38 days after purchase)

Review by: Jim Brown on July 19, 2017 :
Hysterical - loved it - my kind of humour!
(reviewed 18 days after purchase)

Review by: TiraGP on July 07, 2017 :
I give this author a lot of credit for being prolific, with so many books published it's obvious that he is serious about writing. This story shows he has a comic edge. As the title says, this story is all about losing money and irritating people. The description and the many reviews had me expecting a over-the-top characters pulling off some outrageous stunts. My experience reading this is that there is a lot of time spent setting up the scene which is a low down and dirty gambling hall. The many 'mug punters' (the irritating people) who populate the joint are elderly, poor, down and out types. The story tracks very closely through many conversations and interactions between the main character and the irritating people who hang out in the gambling hall. Along with these interactions the main character tells in detail what a bunch of desperate losers the other characters are and how much the main character loathes them. At first it's really funny because the narrator is quite witty, but the step-by-step descriptions of every action and the loathing for everyone just kept going and going. Quite a ways into the story, I was really wanting the plot to take off. I wanted to the main character to start planning a major heist or develop a romantic interest or something, anything. After a while I started skimming ahead looking for the plot to ramp up. Pretty far into the story the plot did start to kick in and it was funny and engaging. This author has some great chops and dedication and he must keep going, keep writing! The gritty humor and the dramatic plot is there for sure, it's just under descriptions and scenery.
(reviewed 2 days after purchase)

Review by: Hannah Watson on July 06, 2017 :
Laughed my ass off at this.
(reviewed 9 days after purchase)

Review by: Melissa Jensen on July 03, 2017 :
I loved it from beginning to end, was going to drop a star because of the ABBA comment, but chapter 15 had me in hysterics.
I knew someone who worked in this industry and could relate to a lot of what is said.
I was disappointed though at how it ended, I feel it could have ended at the party, hopefully with Mike and Kate becoming closer.
All in all, a totally awesome read and I do recommend everyone to read it.
I am going to re think my gambling now for sure.
Thanks Mike, Please keep up the totally awesome work.
(reviewed 2 days after purchase)

Review by: Alicia Graves on June 24, 2017 :
Humor that really hits home. Snarky, sarcastic and dripping with cynicism but witty and sincere at the same time.
(reviewed 19 days after purchase)

Review by: Amanda Imogen on June 21, 2017 :
I think everyone has had the kind of feelings Mike has in the story. Frustration, anger, going crazy and feeling like the world around you is completely out of control. And it's that shared experience that makes it resonate so much stronger... the humor also helps a lot.
(reviewed 32 days after purchase)

Review by: Damian Pendleton on June 20, 2017 :
Does for the slots industry what Fight Club did for gym memberships and 'self-improvement' this one is a riot.
(reviewed 16 days after purchase)

Review by: Michael Ferraro on June 18, 2017 :
A story and a narrator that sadly we working stiffs know only too well, deftly told by a skilled writer with a knack for off the wall humor and jokes.
(reviewed 16 days after purchase)

Review by: Alex Davison on June 09, 2017 :
My favorite character is Jasmine, sure she is a bit of a stereotype but she's funny in a clueless sort of way. Mike also scores highly.
(reviewed 11 days after purchase)

Review by: Tristan Reid on June 08, 2017 :
When it feels like the whole world is a joke (President Trump anyone) I guess you can laugh or you can cry. This has some great laughs in it.
(reviewed 24 days after purchase)

Review by: Shelley Webster on June 07, 2017 :
Believe the hype... this one is awesome.
(reviewed 18 days after purchase)

Review by: Sara Queen on June 06, 2017 :
The setup for the first chapter calls to mind the way Frank Underwood talks directly to the viewer in the show House of Cards. He has that same hard-edged, cynical and world weary sense of humor as well and I really enjoyed it. I like Kate as a character though I think she could be fleshed out a bit more (maybe in a sequel hehe). All in all a solid comedy.
(reviewed 8 days after purchase)

Review by: James Riddel on June 06, 2017 :
It's a short story so I'll give it a short review. Brilliant.
(reviewed 8 days after purchase)

Review by: Brett Rowlands on June 05, 2017 :
I like how the story slowly draws you in and at times verges on 4th wall breaking, talking directly to the reader. I think the ending leaves a lot of scope for some kind of follow up. Curious to see what it could be. After all everything's a trilogy these days, just ask the guys who made The Hangover.
(reviewed 27 days after purchase)

Review by: Beatrice York on June 04, 2017 :
Absolutely loved it. Put this one on your bucket list guys.
(reviewed 21 days after purchase)

Review by: Ivy Archer on June 03, 2017 :
Deserves to be #1. If laughter is the best medicine then this is a lifetime supply of Vicodin :)
(reviewed 15 days after purchase)

Review by: Rebecca Stafford on June 02, 2017 :
This is a real eye opener, a sneak peek into a sordid, harsh and unforgiving world. If you like your stories on the wild side you're sure to love this then. I see good things happening for it.
(reviewed 13 days after purchase)

Review by: Gretchen Ross on June 01, 2017 :
Takes a dull subject and gives it life, love and humor. I enjoyed it a lot.
(reviewed 14 days after purchase)

Review by: Jennifer Hampton on May 31, 2017 :
Hunter S. Thompson, author of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas famously said, 'I've yet to find a drug that can get me as high as sitting at a desk writing.' This author's book is an altogether different 'trip' I have to say but definitely one worth making.
(reviewed 13 days after purchase)

Review by: Sarah Worthington on May 31, 2017 :
If you like your comedy a little different and you're searching for something original then you'll love this!
(reviewed 14 days after purchase)

Review by: Claudia Parker on May 31, 2017 :
Reminds me of that tagline from Clerks 'Just because they serve you doesn't mean they like you' lol.
(reviewed 10 days after purchase)

Review by: Brendan Levova on May 31, 2017 :
Deserves the praise it's been getting, a wickedly funny tale as seen through the eyes of a well meaning if somewhat cynical working man.
(reviewed 13 days after purchase)

Review by: Kelly Rutherford on May 29, 2017 :
A friend emailed a coupon to me for this book and I've been reading it the past week as I've been out with pneumonia. Though it sometimes hurts to laugh they say laughter is the best medicine so I am hereby recommending this book to doctors everywhere. Mikey's humor isn't for the faint of heart or easily offended or the P.C. crowd but the story keeps you hooked and I think it's well worth a read for the price.
(reviewed 12 days after purchase)

Review by: Tess Hopkinson on May 27, 2017 :
I read an interview with Mikey Lee Ray where he was asked 'so why did you write this book?' and he said quite simply, 'revenge.' Well Mikey, given how funny the story is I hope you get it.
(reviewed 10 days after purchase)

Review by: Taylor Jensen on May 27, 2017 :
Chaos made into comedy, a story that flows well and unforgettable characters. I'd like to see this sell big just for the irony of the title.
(reviewed 10 days after purchase)

Review by: Fiona Watson on May 26, 2017 :
This could very well turn into one of those easily quotable films and I think it would be funny to watch. Hoping it succeeds.
(reviewed 9 days after purchase)

Review by: Erin Chamberlain on May 26, 2017 :
A gem from this Indie author, sucks you in and keeps you turning the pages (or in my case pushing buttons) to get to the end.
(reviewed 9 days after purchase)

Review by: Sarah Woods on May 24, 2017 :
So I was told the first 100 reviewers get a free tee shirt... WHERE'S MY DAMN TEE SHIRT MIKEY? lol.
(reviewed 8 days after purchase)

Review by: Phillip Christie on May 23, 2017 :
Generally more of a non-fiction type of reader. Having said that I had immense fun with this little number. Sometimes silly and sometimes snarky or downright sarcastic it is all the same chuckle inducing from beginning to end.
(reviewed 8 days after purchase)

Review by: Chuck Myers on May 23, 2017 :
This humor reminds me of Deadpool, off the wall, crude and crass but makes you laugh.
(reviewed 28 days after purchase)

Review by: Jack Stampler on May 23, 2017 :
I found this book to be very grounded, sure the characters in the story are extreme but their quirks remind you of people around you. Mike is the perfect tour guide on this farcical roller coaster ride.
(reviewed 10 days after purchase)

Review by: Chase Flemington on May 22, 2017 :
Damn funny.
(reviewed 7 days after purchase)

Review by: Tamara Wilkins on May 22, 2017 :
Makes for an interesting narrative, the characters jump right off the pages and are full of life, an irony given the setting.
(reviewed 10 days after purchase)

Review by: Clarice Yearwood on May 22, 2017 :
Received this for free in my email and gotta say this is entertaining. Is Mike always likable? Nope. Is he always nice? Absolutely not. Is he a product of his environment? Partly. Can you understand where he's coming from? Absolutely. He's an every man and HE is what sells the story.
(reviewed 6 days after purchase)

Review by: Paige Brooks on May 21, 2017 :
I feel like it's all been said here lol so let me be brief. GREAT COMEDY. MUST READ. FIVE STARS.
(reviewed 5 days after purchase)

Review by: David Webber II on May 21, 2017 :
Finally got around to reading Ray's latest offering since COAGA and I was most impressed. Characters are memorable, the story is easy to get invested in and the ending is great.
(reviewed 9 days after purchase)

Review by: Rose Masters on May 11, 2017 :
Is it cheating if I borrowed this one from a friend and read it for free? Whatever, I loved it. Funny as shit, absurd, down right rude but killer humor all the same.
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: Alice Parker on May 10, 2017 :
Hard to empathize with some of these characters as they've clearly brought about their own troubles... and yet I did which I think says a lot about the quality of the writing. Good job Mikey !
(reviewed 4 days after purchase)

Review by: Vanessa Rausa on May 10, 2017 :
A friend gifted this to me over the weekend and I've read it over the past week or so. Couldn't stop laughing at the situations Mike finds himself in. I feel like it's mostly been said so I'll just say give this one a try. You won't be disappointed.
(reviewed 2 days after purchase)

Review by: Robert Bishop III on May 08, 2017 :
I'm generally more of an audio book person, all the same I had a lot of fun with this one. Do I smell a bestseller? Perhaps.
(reviewed 2 days after purchase)

Review by: Marcus Pelham on May 08, 2017 :
This was a quick read (for me at least) it was engaging and witty, with some sharp and biting humor. Looking forward to more from this author.
(reviewed 10 days after purchase)

Review by: Dawn Princeton on May 06, 2017 :
I've worked in a pokie place too, so I know how Mike feels about some of the customers. Finally, a book written about our profession from the point of view of someone who WORKS in it lol.
(reviewed 4 days after purchase)

Review by: Ayumi Kawashima on May 03, 2017 :
Had some free time on holidays and lost myself in this funny little book. Great comedy, highly recommend this to others looking for the same. :) - A.K.
(reviewed 4 days after purchase)

Review by: Martin Wakefield on May 02, 2017 :
Has an element of what I think you'd call 'the theater of the absurd' but you can't help getting sucked in to the story nonetheless.
(reviewed 6 days after purchase)

Review by: Jason Sandberg on April 28, 2017 :
This book kept me company on my train rides to and from work, a delightful distraction from the mind numbing routine of the job and a comfort to know I'm not the only one going crazy in the office. Let's face it unless you're making 'Christian Grey' dollars at work everyone hates their job at some point.
(reviewed 6 days after purchase)

Review by: Lee Bell on April 26, 2017 :
Saw a post for this on my Twitter feed and a link to a coupon so downloaded it, had a lot of fun with it. Immersive and easy to read, will keep an eye out for this author in the future.
(reviewed 5 days after purchase)

Review by: Chloe Harper on April 25, 2017 :
An underdog's story, but I guess the question is, given the events of the last chapter (No I'm not going to spoil it lol) does this dog have his day? Wondering where this story can go to next...
(reviewed 4 days after purchase)

Review by: Jess Barclay on April 22, 2017 :
Can see a story like this becoming one of those underground indie cult classic books. Loved Julius most of all, poor guy.
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: Timothy Bloom on April 20, 2017 :
"What do you mean I can't get to work on time, got nothing better to do." For some reason I had that song in my head as I was reading this. Ultimately it's a roller coaster ride that, like the imagination of Patrick Bateman, sometimes takes the reader to dark and unexpected places but mostly I found it laugh out loud funny. Stars well earned :) Def recommend.
(reviewed 4 days after purchase)

Review by: Brianna Summers on April 18, 2017 :
I was sent a few free chapters and really started getting into it. It's a book full of people you either love, like or love to hate. I think everyone has had a boss they can't stand at one point so I could totally relate.
(reviewed 3 days after purchase)

Review by: Betty Winslow on April 16, 2017 :
In times like these you really need a few laughs now and again and this book delivers them in spades. Funny characters, hilarious situation comedy and a great climax / ending.
(reviewed 5 days after purchase)

Review by: Emma Gillam on April 12, 2017 :
One of my close friends recommended this and though I've never really read e-books before I decided to give this a try. I really enjoyed it and I think you will too.
(reviewed the day of purchase)

Review by: Brian Way on Jan. 12, 2017 :
I bought this book after randomly finding it. I was very pleasantly surprised! What a great read. The characters are hilarious, they all have such huge personalities! It's very well written making it easy to get lost in the events in the book. I found myself laughing out loud at Mikes antics and the way he deals with the extremely difficult people working at the gaming venue. If you are the type of person who likes to laugh I couldn't recommend this book more, and at 2$! Bargain :)
(reviewed 7 days after purchase)

Review by: Richard Batchelor on May 11, 2014 :
Ray storms back with his third novel whose title sets the tone for over 300 highly entertaining pages of sledgehammer wit and words most certainly not minced. Narrator Mike is a guy who is surely far too intelligent to be working in the 'hospitality' business - not, in this case are his customers the rich and famous but a ghastly and dissolute assortment of sad and tiresome slot junkies. The whole book is a rather circular, dizzying, nauseating motion round and round and round in circles - namely around the gaming floors from machine to machine to coffee maker to till to machine to coffee maker to till etc etc. It's a sign of the quality of the writing that I became unpleasantly claustrophobic about three-quarters of the way through and just wanted these sad gits like Big M, Angry Joe and Voula to leave me alone too! Not even an excursion by bus to a different gaming hall the other side of Melbourne gives the reader any sense of air as the bus is filled with these very same creatures. These characters are gambling junkies but of the most tragically pitiful kind - they lose most nights on slot machines which involve no skill whatsoever yet come back for the next day and moan about it before losing again. The narrator has no time for these sad and beautifully drawn characters but the descriptions leave the reader with an overwhelming sense of pity and futility. In contrast to Ray's last novel, the epic 'Confessions of a Gaming Attendant', 'How to Lose Money and Irritate people is about half the length and set almost entirely on the gaming floor. This gives it a marvellous intensity and focus - the narrator's personal life doesn't much come into play and there is no meandering from the constant click, whirr and flash of those gaudy machines. Mike's is the constant biting wit and citric cynicism of a man stuck with a small cross-section of human nature due to his job. I don't much care for cops even though I appreciate the brave job they do, mainly because many (not all I hasten to add) of them have a sneering, suspicious, sarcastic attitude towards their fellow man that mixing with criminals all the time must engender. Basically Mike is stuck with largely people who are obsessed with money but are not very good at keeping it (the pokies) and people who are obsessed with money and VERY good at keeping it (the clubs) while hardly rolling in the stuff himself.... and how much more interesting and enriching it is than reading about the rich and famous.
My favourite character is probably Julius, a deluded Walter Mitty-esque fantasist with pretentions of aristocracy. He doesn't play the machines at all yet comes to the club to chat about his impending marriage to a dead princess and drink gallons of tea. It does beg the question, why does he hang out there? Despite sounding or at least wanting to sound like a Tory and a Royal at the same time (never two things to get off on a good footing with me anyway) he is rather endearing (at least from a DISTANCE) and provides at least some smidgen of humanity among the clientele, Perhaps my favourite aspect of this hilarious and at times depressing romp is the daydreaming of the narrator. As the drudgery shimmers and fades into the background, zombies, terrorist attacks and extravagant insults fill the club until some shitty task throws Mike out of his reverie.

Anyway, buy this! You shan't be disappointed. It's hilarious, it's pitiless, it's relentless, it kind of hits many of the same funny bones Hunter S Thompson hit in its orgy of misanthropy. Fortunately Mike does have some light relief in the shape of two colleagues he gets on with, one of whom sets up the final scene of descent into farce. The main villain of the piece, a lazy and obnoxious stand-in boss, will get what's coming...
(reviewed 22 days after purchase)

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