on July 8, 2016 :
Wonderful originality. Great pace and despite the overuse of complex prose, it still reads fluently, but probably only if you have a good vocabulary. Before I point out some things I noticed, I would like to highly recommend this read. It's a very unusual concept and kept me reading continuously.
The odd passage was difficult, like “Lucas Swift found the inadvertent auditory interruption a welcomed chance for distraction.” Could have been "Lucas heard a noise, and welcomed the distraction..."
There were several words simply out of place, one example near the end of the book, "nirvana" to describe a Christian heaven. If that was deliberate, I don't know why. There are numerous stumblers like "scrapped knees" which may be a colloquialism that is unfamiliar to me--I would say scraped--, "bit of a ways away" is very modern American speech, as is "tasked" and yet since there are only gas lamps in the street, these are inconsistent with the setting.
Flies were described as parasites, but they are not parasitic.
"The devil giggled" I find that unlikely.
“But, should things go to the extant, you will need to play a role in tidying up”. The word should probably be extent. (Extant means "still existing")
"Catalyst" is a rather scientific word. It could be used once in the right context, but not three times for different purposes.
"The water was filled with a devilishly high concentration of sodium chloride,” Well, yes, it's in hell. Of course it's devilish. And why not simply say "salt". It's better to get the story across rather than showcase the intellect of the writer.
Calling a mouth a "yap" and feet "stompers" and eyes "peepers" might be acceptable within prose for the period, but not when the narrator uses the word; certainly not when the narrator also uses modernisms like "tasked".
"Tasked" next to "paramour" also linguistically contrasts strongly without providing benefit to the plot.
The names irked me a bit. This is acceptable in a child's book, but not for the intended readers of this book:
Victor Lednail = a boot binder
Brady Blockcut = a butcher
Captain Cuffburn = a policeman
The number of errors (as Kline wrestler her into position) (with ever step he grew closer)... increased as the book came to a conclusion. This bolstered a feeling that it might have been rushed a little toward the end, especially because the amount of "telling" compared to dialogue increased whereas one typically expects backstory and descriptive narrative to be heavy at the beginning of a book.
But there is a stroke of genius. "I had a team of lawyers, who are in no short supply down here."
Awesome read. Thanks. Enjoyed it a lot.
(review of free book)
on June 14, 2014 :
This is the first book I have ever recommended before I have even finished it.
How can I describe it? It is written on such an epic scale in some ways and yet in others each segment is a small crafted story. It starts off with a fairly fairy tale feel to it with a young girl who is mistreated at home and shunned by the villagers and a powerful man due to lose his place in the world, ready to do whatever he has to to retain his position. She journeys to fulfil his wishes and meets people who resonate through the story, which reminded me of old beggar women asking for food and in return granting wishes later.
There is the promise and spurning of love, marriage and destiny. There is a magical beast. There are realms of hell. There are mob scenes. There are scenes of great loss and pain as well as discovery and joy.
Ultimately, for me, this is a story of possibilities, choices and the continuing punishment of hope which if followed through can sometimes lead to better times.
I heartily recommend this book and once the little mistakes (as mentioned by David Rose below) are ironed out, this should see print in my opinion.
(review of free book)