Winter Visitor

Rated 2.00/5 based on 2 reviews
Darren was awakened by a strange sound within his bedroom with a blizzard and subzero temperatures outside. He realized he was no longer alone in his room. Was someone or something after him? Will he be able to evade the visitor? Second Edition - April 2011.
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Fiction » Horror » Ghost
Words: 2,500
Language: English
ISBN: 9781458193575
About John Gaffield

John T. Gaffield is an automotive engineer in southeast Michigan with a wife and two children. He published his first novel, "Heir to Winston Manor," in October 2010 as an eBook. John has a second ebook, "The Wahl House Curse," this time set in mid-Michigan, which is now available as of January 2011.

John released a short horror story for Kindle in mid-January 2011 called "The Ghost of Birch River Cabin." This haunting tale is set in a secluded cabin along the fictional Birch River. Other short stories are "Winter Visitor" and "Slow Down." All are currently free at Amazon (USA at least). A fourth short story "Denning Swamp - A Short Ghost Story" is now available.

John uses his past memories and his local knowledge combined with his engineering sense of detail to create realistic ghost stories. He has an interest in ghost stories and creepy old haunted houses.

John'a third haunted house novel "Alone Again" was published in September 2011. It is set in an old house in a suburban neighborhood. A couple purchased the house from a builder who had fixed up the house for sale after it had stood abandoned for a few years. The wife was never the same after they moved in.

John is continuing to work on new novels and short stories, so stay tuned!

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Review by: Matt Di Spirito on April 14, 2011 :
The idea behind the story was interesting and had a lot of potential. Unfortunately, the execution of the story and writing style hampered the experience and left an unsatisfied feeling.

The author has a great vocabulary and knows how to spell, but there are some grammar and formatting issues. There is a lot of repetition; using the same word or phrase repeatedly in the same paragraph is tiring.

Large paragraphs need to be broken up. Whenever the scene shifts, even when the same character is looking at something or hearing something, a new paragraph should start.

The writing style needs to be reworked. This may be a matter of opinion, but I found the story to read like a textbook. There was a lot of dry, mechanical description of the events. There wasn't any narrative flow or passion; it read like an investigative case journal masquerading as a story.

Mr. Gaffield has a great idea with "Winter Visitor" and I applaud the concept--I'd love to see a re-written version. For a free story, it's worth a read, but I can't recommend this tale to a serious fan of supernatural thrillers unless revisions are made.
(review of free book)

Review by: Mark Fontecchio on March 21, 2011 : (no rating)
Nice twist at the end. It needs some paragraph breaks, though.
(review of free book)

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