Winter Visitor

Rated 2.00/5 based on 1 reviews
Darren was awakened by a strange sound within his bedroom with a blizzard and subzero temperatures outside. He realized he was no longer alone in his room. Was someone or something after him? Will he be able to evade the visitor? Second Edition - April 2011.
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Fiction » Horror » Ghost
Words: 2,500
Language: English
ISBN: 9781458193575
About John Gaffield

John T. Gaffield is an automotive engineer from Southeast Michigan. John uses his engineering background to create realistic ghost stories with an interest in haunted houses. He published his first novel "Heir to Winston Manor," in October 2010. Subsequent novels include "The Wahl House Curse," and "Alone Again."

John has recently published his first Science Fiction novel, which involves Augmented Reality (AR), Virtual Reality (VR), and Artificial Intelligence (AI). "Valerye" is now available at Smashwords and other sites. He also is working on a free Science Fiction short story with the working title, "Synthia."

John has several short ghost stories available. Some of which are free. They include, "The Ghost of Birch River Cabin," "Winter Visitor," "Slow Down," "Denning Swamp - A Short Ghost Story," "The Haunting of the Charles F. Campton," "Disconnect," and "In Remembrance."

John is continuing to work on new novels and short stories. So stay tuned!

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Reviews

Review by: Matt Di Spirito on April 14, 2011 :
The idea behind the story was interesting and had a lot of potential. Unfortunately, the execution of the story and writing style hampered the experience and left an unsatisfied feeling.

The author has a great vocabulary and knows how to spell, but there are some grammar and formatting issues. There is a lot of repetition; using the same word or phrase repeatedly in the same paragraph is tiring.

Large paragraphs need to be broken up. Whenever the scene shifts, even when the same character is looking at something or hearing something, a new paragraph should start.

The writing style needs to be reworked. This may be a matter of opinion, but I found the story to read like a textbook. There was a lot of dry, mechanical description of the events. There wasn't any narrative flow or passion; it read like an investigative case journal masquerading as a story.

Mr. Gaffield has a great idea with "Winter Visitor" and I applaud the concept--I'd love to see a re-written version. For a free story, it's worth a read, but I can't recommend this tale to a serious fan of supernatural thrillers unless revisions are made.
(review of free book)

Review by: Mark Fontecchio on March 21, 2011 : (no rating)
Nice twist at the end. It needs some paragraph breaks, though.
(review of free book)

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