Overall, an affecting poem on the horrors of war. Although I don’t know if you want comment, constructive criticism, or both, I offer you some comments. First, I’ve read some Sassoon, so I know for what you’re striving. I can see and hear and almost feel the plight of the soldiers in the trenches. I commend you on your enterprise in using an aabb rhyme scheme in English, a language not as rich in rhymes as the Romance languages, such as French and Italian. I also don’t know the reason you used the word Alius. Perhaps to cast an aura of antiquity, as in the repetition of wars throughout human history. But I could be reaching. Anyway, glad to see you presenting your work to the world. I hope you have continued to do so.
(review of free book)