I was born sometime during the last century and I confidently predict that I will die sometime during this century. I have lived and worked in and around Tyneside and Northumberland for most of my life. However, despite being reasonably well travelled, I have always retained the urge to return to the place that I call home. This however, is not because of some deeply held nostalgic allegiance to the region, it is primarily because it’s just where I happen to live. I spent most of my working life as a Police Officer, the majority of my service being with the Criminal Investigation Department where in my modest opinion the laughs were better and the suits were sharper. Such was my enduring impression upon the Police Service and the Criminal Justice System in general , that when a serious injury caused my premature retirement colleagues, criminals and leading counsel were collectively heard to say ‘ Ian who’?
Following my departure from the Police Service, and in order to sustain life and limb (well, those limbs that were still functioning), I established an independent Legal Consultancy, which offered a variety of services to the financial and insurance sectors. This was so ‘Rock and Roll’ that at about the same time I established a music promotion company which fortunately is still trading today unlike, may I say, many of the financial institutions that used to employ my services. However, as much as I would like to, I cannot take any personal credit for increased unemployment figures amongst overpaid banking executives, or for that matter, the large number of modestly priced ‘Mercs’ and BMW’s that have flooded the used car market since. As the economic crisis deepened, I was obliged to seek my fortune elsewhere and for a number of years I worked as an Investigator for Trading Standards and as a Prosecutor for a blue chip company.
I now concentrate solely on music promotion, writing and taking therapeutic walks with my Agent. Fame as ever, has continued to elude me and It may not come as a complete surprise for you to learn that I am still seeking my fortune. I do however, remain blindly optimistic. On a personal note I feel compelled to reveal that I am in a long standing relationship with my current Literary Agent, and my favourite photograph of him appears above.
Ian Douthwaite July 2015
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on Nov. 11, 2016 :
Very witty and insightful. Lots of great set pieces. Highly recommended.
(review of free book)