Have You Ever Nogged A Nag?

Rated 4.57/5 based on 7 reviews
"So tell me. Have you ever nogged a nag?"

Although it seems a simple enough question, it makes no sense! So what does it mean? And what would anyone make of such a question if asked when in training to become a government spy?

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About Jonathan Antony Strickland

You really want me to reveal personal information here?
O.K then... here's some stuff you might (or might not) like to know about me!

Well for starters you can contact me on milthyswinebuckle@gmail.com

My Hobbies:
1_Are you bored. Then do what I do. Take off all your clothes and paint your face and arse bright blue. Then run outside and shout abuse at passers-by... passes the time if nothing else!
2_Managed 18 keepy ups with ye old pigs bladder once....What's that you say? Not that impressive! Well... what I failed to tell you was that the pigs bladder that I did the 18 keepy ups with, was still inside the pig!
3_Not pissing on the evil that is Milthy Swinebuckle, if he were ever to catch fire
4_Scratching my arse!
5_Watching Milthy get his arse kicked by a three legged tortoise...HA !!!
6_Scratching my arse and..oh wait I've already said that! Ah, what the hell. It's a good one so I'll say it again.
7_???? **** ???? with **** then ?*?*!
8_Wondering what I'm doing during hobby seven?

MY most prized possession: Hitler's missing left testicle (NOT FOR SALE).

My most famous quotes:
1_A step in the right direction can still mean the death of an ant!
2_I look down on almost everybody...although come to think about it, it's probably because I do climb a lot of trees!
3_You know that poem "if", what a load of crap. Kipling got it all wrong. What he should have said was "If you can portray the ideas you get to a sober man (no matter how shite though's ideas may be), and keep a straight face. Then you'll be a man MA SON!
4_HMMMMMM........I think I'll eat my socks!
5_MMMMM.......cheese and onion flavour .........NNNNIIIICCCCEEE!!!!
6_Ignore the above quote's and instead just read and live your life by number 7.
7 As far as I'm concerned you should not judge a fellow person on their looks, sex, race or beliefs. There are only two types of people: 1_Everyday ordinary people who just want to get on with their lives and not bother anybody else...2_The preachers, the arseholes and the gobshites, who want to tell you what to do, what you should be doing and how you should be doing it.

My favourite words:...knickers, bra's, boobs, bums, knockers, shit, shite, bollicks, twat, boobs (such a good word it needed to be said twice), gussets, stains, ugabalooga, randy, stodgeflaps, fgkgkujhghrewh, and TURD!!! That's TURD... Got it? No? Then I'll say it again, just in case you missed it...T.U.R.D

My Arch Enemies:
1_Milthy Swinebuckle....Beware he who sneaks, creeps, squawks and chortles. He who goes by many names. Names such as... Archibald Stott, Feagus the mostly squidgy, Terrance the quite nasty tormentor etc... but to me he will always be Milthy Swinebuckle (or if I meet him face to face... ARSEWIPE!)
2_Mr.Hairy Monkfish... Swinebuckle's main henchman (and suspected bumchum)
3_Randy Stodgeflaps... not much to say about this guy except he is one of Swinebuckle's best mates and a bit of a ballbag!

Charity work.....Milthy Swinebuckle has been infected with writers tourettes. Only I can help him. I really hope I don't catch it though, as every few words he writes he can't stop himself writing words like..."KNICKERS" or"ARSE" or some other filth. It takes him a good twenty minutes to write and edit a single sentence. I really "NADS" feel sorry "BOOBS" for the "GUSSETS" poor guy......"B...BB...BBB BOTOMSSS, ARSEHOLES, PANTS,......Oh bugger!"

PS: Does anyone actually read any of this personal information shit?

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Reviews

Review by: Jeff McDargh on April 18, 2016 :
Fun story. As with all Jonathan Antony Strickland stories it's the well drawn characters that suck you in. Great job and thank you.
(review of free book)
Review by: Walter Lazo on April 1, 2016 :
Very enjoyable story about a spy I think I recognize. Ha.
(review of free book)
Review by: AC Cooper on March 10, 2016 :
Fun, amusing story. Worth the read.
(review of free book)
Review by: James Jenkins on Feb. 27, 2016 :
Not overly good or bad, but it is fun.
(review of free book)
Review by: tarnyloo73 on Feb. 23, 2016 :
Another short, well crafted piece from Mr. Strickland with some nice character work emerging naturally from the dialogue.
Full marks also for pulling off an absurd approach to a well known character.

Entertaining and funny throughout.
(review of free book)
Review by: Michael Carter on Feb. 19, 2016 :
Another crackers tale from the peculiar mind of Jonny Strickland. This one is at in the world of espionage, and the training of a potential young agent. Great technique of only dialogue (at first) makes this a fast and funny read.

The odd title makes perfect sense when you read the story, but I like to think of it as On Her Majesty's Stupid Service.

A fun read.
(review of free book)
Review by: James Hold on Feb. 17, 2016 :
Strickland strikes again. This time with an inside tale Mr Fleming forgot to tell us. Great job, as usual.
(review of free book)
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