Today's Edition

Greetings, citizen, and welcome to the Bunker! An underground, egalitarian dreamland, its people work diligently, eat slop, and watch the tube.

Traitors are bent on destroying this heavenly utopia. Fortunately, Control has instituted a regime of security clearances to promote the most trustworthy and enlist their aid against the rising terrorist threat.

There's absolutely nothing to worry about. More
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About Adam Wasserman

Adam Wasserman was - like all human beings - born on Earth. In the years since, he has proved himself to be an avid breather. He also eats regularly.

Since all humans look alike, it is hard to differentiate him from the rest. He is, however, easiest to spot when lying on a beach, subjecting himself to a steady stream of dangerous rays from Sol. Such behavior is illogical, a common trait among his species.

Eventually, his body will wear out and he will cease to function. In the meantime, he keeps busy by publishing falsehoods in book form, which somehow he imagines others will find entertaining and instructive.

Humans are, of course, a strange and unfathomable species.

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