The Book of Dubious Beasts

St. George murders a fire-swallowing Welsh dragon…

A mermaid goes looking for true love on land…

A blob of shape-changing mucus runs for political office…

These are some of the weird and wonderful tales told by the macaque Jaxy Mono, in this seminal work of “monkey lit”, The Book of Dubious Beasts. More

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About Jaxy Mono

Jaxy Mono - the world famous “monkey with a typewriter” - is a highly intelligent tail-less Barbary Ape (Macaca sylvanus) from Europe’s only population of wild monkeys in Gibraltar.

Jaxy (pronounced JAK-see) creates his works by tapping, apparently at random, on the screen of a “borrowed” (i.e. filched) iPad. Jaxy also thieves cameras, and he is a keen film-maker. His six hour documentary study of his left foot has won major prizes at several international film festivals.

Outside his artistic endeavours, Jaxy likes beer, bananas and his babies; and he dislikes fleas, being paid in peanuts, and zoos. His hobbies include foraging, grooming, rooting through trash-cans, and playing tag with his offspring.

Despite overwhelming scientific evidence to the contrary, Jaxy doesn’t believe in evolution, as he simply can’t accept that he is descended from creatures as primitive as human beings; especially Creationists.

Jaxy Mono has asserted his inalienable moral right to be identified as the author of his works; and anybody who asserts otherwise will be nipped on the butt.

Hard.

SOME EARLY REACTIONS TO JAXY'S WORK:

“Shakespeare was a monkey with a typewriter too. Only he didn’t have a typewriter. And Jaxy has an iPad! Just imagine the possibilities!” – Steve Jobs (contacted via séance)

“A stunning triumph of A.I. (Animal Intelligence). This pioneering work of trans-special fiction will revolutionize our understanding of Old World monkeys. Jaxy puts the genus back in genius!” – Sir David Attenborough

“Not bad for a baboon. But just imagine what a chimpanzee could do!” – Jane Goodall

“Yo, Jaxy, U got sum freaky beasts livin in yur bone-box. Yur won sikk monkey-man! XXX!” – Lindsay Lohan (via Twitter)

“You fucking ape! Call yourself a writer? You’re no more an author than a deaf fucker with a piano is Beethoven. When I’m done with you, you’re bush-meat. Give me back my wallet!” – Head Critic, Times Literary Supplement

“This is more than a HIT; it’s solid gold ape-$HIT! – We’re talking a telephone number advance here. With an area code up front. - Hey, are you listening? You don’t put the phone down on me, I put the phone down on you! – Hello? Hello?!?” – Buck Franklin, Jaxy’s agent

“Please buy my books; I need your bananas.” – Jaxy

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