The Art of the Tale: Fairy Tales Which Trump All Others
Did you know the mainstream press is indoctrinating our children, our CHILDREN, with fairy tales? Jack and the Beanstalk, Snow White, all of them, filled with lies. Wondering how I know? I was there! Who do you think sold Jack those beans, or made amazing new clothes for well-known emperors? Me, Donald J. Thrump! Don't settle for second rate propaganda, go first rate. Art of the Tale, buy it! More
Hello folks, Donald J. Thrump here. Every day, you and your family are being lied to. About me.
I mean look, the injustices done against me in the rigged systems of the present day are pretty gruesome. They're not just any injustices. They're the biggest injustices, the best, the classiest—I'd expect no less. But we all know the worst attacks are aimed at the past, not the present. As Jesus said in Old Testament Chapter 11, verse 3, "He who controls the past controls the future." And I think he'd know, after all he was the greatest swordsman of all time.
If you want to know the worst injustices enacted on me, look past the activist press, the whiners, the politicians, and look at our children. They're indoctrinating our children, our CHILDREN! And with what? With fairy tales!
Let me tell you all a secret that I've known my entire life: fairy tales are complete bullshit. Jack climbed a giant beanstalk, sure, but why hasn't the biased mainstream children's book media mentioned who sold Jack those magic beans in the first place, hmm?
I'm sure you've heard the story of "The Princess and the Pea", but did you know I laid on those mattresses first? Also I saw the woman who eventually "passed" the test, and she was no princess, believe you me. Maybe she ate a princess, just before we met. That's maybe not a polite thing to say, but do you want something polite or something truthful? Or maybe neither? Who am I to deny the people what they want?
How about the story of that weird little creep who spun straw into gold for my daughter? He wanted her first born child! Sad! If only we knew that little weirdo's name, I could put him on a watch list, or sue him, or bankrupt him, or eminent domain his house and his gold. But life isn't always fair, especially not to me. Look, I can't complain, in fact I never complain. A lot of people notice, too. I have so much I could complain about, so everybody always wants to know if I was cursed to never complain by a gypsy or something! No I tell them, there's no curse. I just choose not to. Ever.
I don't complain about the media being biased against me, or about the establishment players rigging the system, or even about my own party members turning their backs on me. It's terrible the way they behave, and I deserve better. But I have never and will never complain. I won't even point it out, really, except to point out that I'm not really talking about it very much, but I could and I'd be justified if I did.
Don't even get me started on the story of Snow White. She didn't stay with dwarves, she stayed with me and my six Thrump brothers! It doesn't really bother me that everybody lies about it, I can take the insult, but it's certainly not fair. A lesser man would probably be reduced to tears over it. For me, I don't even know how to cry. It's one of the only things I never taught myself to do.
And let's not forget one of the most misunderstood stories of all time, "The Emperor's New Clothes". Does anybody really think I would sell pretend clothes? Only a complete loser would make up a lie like that—looking at you, Hans Christian Andersen. What, does he think I ate an imaginary Thrump steak last night, and stayed in an imaginary Thrump Hotel which had an imaginary greatest view of anywhere in the entire universe? He's the one who needs to be fact checked, him and all his fairy tales. Why does everyone fact check me, when I never lie? (Again, not a gypsy curse, it's just how I choose to behave.)
Whatever. I know the truth, but you don't. Yet. If you're tired of getting your head filled up by elites who wouldn't know a good deal or a good story if it bit them on their dumb loser asses, maybe it's time to pick up a book written by a true historian, one who wrote it best because he lived it best.
Five corrected classic fairy tales at one affordable low price. It's such a great deal, I'm not even going to mention how great a deal it is. But it is a really great deal!
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