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MATT SHAW was born, quite by accident (his mother tripped, he shot out) September 30th 1980 in Winchester hospital where he was immediately placed on the baby ward and EBay. Some twelve years later (wandering the corridors of the hospital and playing with road kill when he was on day release), the listing closed and he remained unsold, he was booted out of the hospital to start his life as a writer and hobbit – beginning with writing screenplays and short stories for his own amusement before finally getting published when he was twenty-seven years and forty-five seconds old.
Growing up, Matt was too poor to go to school so he often sat by the bins of King Edwards VI school, in Southampton, where the teachers would take pity on him and throw him snippets of information that he could forge into a poor education. When they grew tired of him – he moved over to the toilets of Itchen College, in Bitterne, where, once again, he sifted through stools in an effort to obtain some more recycled information that would help him continue in his ongoing efforts to get an education.
A tragic accident took his life when, at the same age he was published, he was run over by a stolen steam-roller whilst lying in a field jotting down some notes for his next book.
He is survived by his wife, two cats, chinchilla and two goldfish – all of whom live off his vast royalty cheques that, thanks to you, keep going to them.
Disclaimer: I’m not really dead. Just used that for dramatic effect.