I have been involved in psychology for 45 years now. My studies spanned both South Africa and London (at an American University that functioned there for 10 years, Antioch, Yellow Springs, Ohio — a very creative, and respected, alternative university). Training too as a psychotherapist there, I worked as one for 8 years. I was involved with England's top personal growth centre, Quaesitor, for the last 2 years before its closing in 1978. At Quaesitor I did endless forms of group training . . . in the healing of emotional pains, and towards personal growing as a human being, in all ways. I call myself a Humanistic Psychologist, and that includes some orientation towards the theories, but not the practices, of psychoanalysis. I ran England's top personal growth magazine at that time (1988 -1995) as editor and almost everything else. It was called Human Potential Magazine.
In 2001 I was involved in bringing to South Africa The Mankind Project, an organisation dedicated to Men's Issues, to men sharing from their hearts, etc. The first training happened the weekend before the 9/11 Twin Towers disaster, when 40 men went through a challenging weekend about all aspects of "male psychology". This project has grown more than 40 fold since then.
The book is based on deep psychological theory of how we relive the past in the present. I live both in South Africa and in London and am a proud dual citizen of both countries. In 1999 I cycled from the west coast to the east coast of America in 26 days but such cycle-ogical information is not really relevant to this book, though, like the art of loving, it required discipline, courage and patience to achieve that. Generally a content person, I carry a belief that there need be no shortages of love in our lives, if we learn to love others as best as we can.
on March 06, 2017 :
REVIEW OF e-Book “FALLING FOR LOVE” by Aron Gersh
It’s one of those difficult conversations that seem to remain just under our cultural radar, that is why romantic love – perhaps one of our primary preoccupations as a species – fails so dismally in the long run. For this reason when it comes to matters of the heart and partnership, there are few authors who are either able or willing to write about the gritty stuff that loves failures are made of.
Hats off to Gersh who caringly but unapologetically makes his case in a well-researched clearly thought out and wholly digestible book. His writing takes us on a journey in a fashion that makes it easy enough to see the cultural bias – and then self-reflect on our own narrative.
It's not a simple self-help "how to" book, but for those who want to seriously self-reflect, the depth and complexity is both present and helpful.
Gersh’s hypothesis posits romantic love through the lens of a regressive kind of love – deeply excavating into topics which influence our love quotient such as our childhood–parent relationships, and our ability to learn and grow from conflict. He also offers valuable insights into what to look out for should you ever want to stand a better chance of a sustained, vibrant and soulful loving relationship with another fully grown up adult.
For both seeker and academic (psychology – sociology – anthropology) his book makes a worthy contribution, joining a handful of other granular and honest books covering the topic of love in our time.
(review of free book)