Torn 3: The Continued Story of an Undeserving Wallaby Drowning in a Septic Tank

What would you do if only faced with two choices in life where the outcome of either will shatter your heart? Simon Williams made what he thought would be the best decision, then had to live with the brutal consequences. More

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About Simon Williams

If sarcasm was your acceptable daily allowance of protein, then author Simon Williams would be a juicy 12-ounce steak sandwiched between two pieces of red meat. In a recent Facebook posting of the 37 things people regret when they die, there was only one item he hadn't done. Let go of a grudge, but he doesn't regret it.

Born in Townsville, Queensland he now lives in Miami, Florida. He always wanted to move to Leningrad but is buggered if he can find where it is on a map. He has spent half his life having to tell Americans that he grew up near Sydney, as most of them have no idea that Australia has another city.

He started writing as a young man, first with a crayon, then a pencil, finally graduating to a ball point pen. His sense of humor was developed over 8 years of boarding school. As a way of both evading having the crap beaten out of him, while also dealing with being a smart boy who sat at the back of the class, but who couldn't see the board because he refused to wear his glasses.

His favourite pastime is trolling his mates on Facebook and taking the piss out of them. He has only been unfriended twice, on both occasions by his wife.

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