Self Help (For Other People)

Born in Bournemouth, England, Patrick grew up on the wrong side of, the tracks.

On those mean streets he joined a vicious street gang that harassed passers-by. Consequently he was deported to Canada at the tender age of seven years.

He spent his teen years in a Witness Protection Program where he eventually entered Waterloo Lutheran University, a party school so notorious that it had to change it's name to Laurier not long after Patrick's graduation.

Whereupon Patrick talked his way into a staff position at Dorchester High School, a party school so notorious that it had to change its name to Lord Dorchester Secondary School in the hope that by honouring a nineteenth century mouth-breathing aristocrat, it would gain some semblance of respectability.

Patrick taught there for thirty-two years largely through intimidation. Today Patrick lives with his moll, Rosemary. He has five lieutenants and ten soldiers in his "Family"

He urges you to buy his writing. It's an offer you can't refuse.