Suzze Osmond Ex-Christian, Move Over Jesus There's a New Girl in Town (E 1-2-3)
“Funny. Perverse. Magical.” Televangelist Suzze Osmond Has Fallen From Grace.
Gone down market. Big time. Nothing sexual. Nor financial. None of the usual foibles that befall the high and mighty when they crash and burn. Coming down is a bitch and as best she can figure, God himself is out to get her. “Biting satire.” “. . . fast paced narrative and zippy dialog in a complex, layered plot.” More
“. . . zippy dialog and a fast-paced narrative in a complex, layered plot.”
“Surreal, metaphysical, bizarre, irreverent and oddly poetic.”
Televangelist Suzze Osmond has fallen from grace.
Gone down market.
None of the usual foibles that befall the high and mighty when they crash and burn. Coming down is a bitch and as best she can figure, God himself is out to get her.
For a while, she’s content to hide out in her empty mansion with only a disapproving angel and an argumentative commode for company. But the answers to what happened, and why, are on the outside. Thus begins Suzze’s quest as she treks, half naked and barefoot across recession-racked America, squatting behind dumpsters and slinking down deserted streets, hanging out in paradise and motivating the multitudes – all while struggling to keep her irritable bowel syndrome at bay.
Suzze Osmond was a televangelist with all the accoutrements of fame and power.
When her husband Joel’s head explodes in the middle of a sermon at Prosperity Cathedral, she thinks God himself is out to get her. Her efforts to repent by dragging all her worldly goods to the curb of her gated mansion while barefoot and half-naked only subjects her to ridicule.
Adding insult to injury, her imaginary friends desert her in a fit of stress-induced psychosis. She hits the road, lands on a park bench and finds the peace she sought all along only to have it interrupted by an old man intent on guiding her to a better place. Or so he says.
Having seen this cliché played a hundred times, Suzze expresses her skepticism and disdain as only a ditzy blond with fake boobs can.
We travel through the near future as Suzze and the Old Man squat behind dumpsters and slink down deserted streets through a landscape both real and imagined, confronting a country in turmoil, pitting Science against Religion, Atheists against Christians, and Fantasy against Reality. But what’s the difference, really?
Along the way, they join forces with Larry Gelb, Nobel Prize winner with a soft spot for sex toys, Pastor Steve, evangelist for a new generation growing rich from sponsored sermons, a pair of talking HushPuppies and a belligerent commode.
Funny, Perverse, Magical – Suzze Osmond Ex-Christian is a giant, panoramic story ripped from the headlines and told in the context of an America changing too fast for mere mortals to keep up, or understand.
Spoiler alert: The good guys win.
Comments from our Focus Group(s)
Here’s something you don’t see every day, a strong female heroine or protagonist who is on her way, I think, I’m not there yet, to becoming a militant atheist. It’s a character arc that I’ve never encountered. If Christopher Hitchens is looking down from heaven (or up from hell?), he’d be proud.
Could this silly bit of fluff and puff, this slap-stick comedy serve up and address real moral and ethical questions and then honestly and cleverly answer them? . . . hints of Voltaire and Vidal, Tom Robbins and Tom Wolfe. I say give it a try.
Quirky Crazy Weird True
Suzze Osmond Ex-Christian reads like a TV series which I think the writers wanted since they call it Season One and the chapters are described as scenes. It is fast-paced, witty, and completely off the wall so it takes a few chapters to get used to it. But it’s a heck of a ride, thoroughly enjoyable. Be forewarned, the first episode ends with a cliffhanger, TV style and if you’re a hard core Christian you might want to be careful.
Themes | Tags
Apocalyptic, Adventure, Dark Humor
Strong Female Lead
Satire, Religious Satire
Secular Humanism, Humanist Fiction
War on Christians
Authors | Inspirations
Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens, Tim LaHaye, Bill Maher, Chuck Palahniuk, Terry Pratchett, Tom Robbins
Available ebook formats: