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Tony Padegimas has been an obvious and unapologetic nerd all of his life. He is also a geek and a wonk and he knows the difference. Writing down ridiculous lies like this is the latest of more than 30 jobs he has held (mostly in freelance writing or technical theater). He lives in Phoenix with his wife of 28 years, two children and a rotating cast of domestic mammals. His two published hiking guides have made him, by his own reckoning, the second most famous Padegimas on the internet.