This is really well written, the language fresh, easy and appropriate to the age of the protagonists. Tammy is delightful, taking charge of her own sex education and her brother sweet, realistic and grateful for her attentions. There is genuine feeling and caring between them too and their innocent play makes this story very erotic. Fix these small errors to make it even better.
pussy or as you as always call => pussy or as you always call;;
anxious to hear the answer my next question => answer to my next;;
is really a turning me on => is really turning me on;; fingers back and forth along slit => forth along her slit;; as if she was experiencing a mild earthquake => as if she were experiencing;; to stay and
extra week => to stay an extra week;; gave Jonathan few hundred dollars => gave Jonathan a few.
(review of free book)