Rated 4.00/5 based on 1 reviews
A frank and open look at to why you should NOT release free ebooks on the World Wide Web or, “How to Shoot Yourself in the Foot” by mistake. Also known as “Everyone’s Guide to eBook Hara Kiri”. More

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Published by Living Books USA
Words: 5,550
Language: English
ISBN: 9781465931252

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Review by: Graham Murray on Aug. 19, 2011 : (no rating)
What an amazing ‘review’! I nearly wet myself.
You speak very good England. What school did you went?

“Numbers for pronouns” as you hilariously call it, is what is known in the English language as g-r-a-m-m-a-r. The Queen’s English at that, too.
I can assure you, the Queen is not gay or ‘funny’ in any other way. But as she uses “numbers in pronouns” (as do all well-educated persons), you have deftly labeled Her Royal Highness as a “member of the gay community”.
Presumably, this must be “The Queen’s Club”, huh? Geddit? Perhaps not . . .
Wonderful stuff! I guess I should have used “yall”.

It appears that it is not merely typos that affect your concentration, but your pronounced ‘gender confusion’. I have no idea how you have related anything ‘gay’ to an article on free ebooks. Must be a gay thing. It went way over my head, anyway. Oddly enough, you seem very au fait with gay vernacular.
Let’s see what other readers have to say.

And you don’t like metaphors, either? Writers who use metaphors lose credibility? Really? Bummer. Well, that’s 99.9% of the world’s top writers down the drain and clueless. I’m going to have to spend some time on *that* logic.
Is there anything about regular writing that you do like? I can’t tell as your only release is about, well, ‘male seduction’. Ahem. Is it just me? And you love camping, too. No!

I absolutely loved your “No homo bashing intended here”. That’s one of the best lines I have read in many years. The gay community are simply going to adore you. One shudders to think (oops, there goes those number again). ‘Two’ shudders to think just didn’t work.

The reviewer is obviously not aware that ISBNs have zip, zero, nada, nothing whatsoever to do with Diesel and Sony; it is merely the way they choose to list their books, i.e. from the name of the source. And this confirmation I received just yesterday from Smashwords themselves in an email.

Oh, “just FYI”, it is “Bowker” and not “Bowaker” (sic). May I suggest a copy edit?

I agree, not all authors will sell many copies. As for a pessimistic attitude towards fellow writers, please, by all means, do share with us your ebook sales figures. Stick with it, you may get there, but with the whole gay thing and abhorrence of metaphors outlook, I won’t be holding my breath. It is a simple fact of self-publishing that many titles will never sell a single copy.

Truly, a masterpiece of a ‘review’ and one I shall cherish for years to come.

Oh, another ‘just FYI’ . . . may one suggest you take a peek at my, “How to Write Short Story Reviews” ebook. You’ll have an absolute field day with that one as well (excuse the metaphor and numbered pronoun).

In all, thank you for a great belly laugh. If there is a god, may s/he bless your little cotton socks.

(review of free book)

Review by: Autumn O'Brien on Aug. 19, 2011 :
Interesting work but a few typos that a good copy edit could find takes away the readers concentration. The use of numbers for personal pronouns ( "one does not...") and speaking in metaphors rather loses the credibility of knowledge in the subject and sounds like a member of the gay community. No homo bashing intended here--- that is just a common Gay vernacular. The author is evidently not aware that when an author uses the "free" ISBN numbers available from Smashwords, Smashwords is sent out as the publisher to Diesel and Sony. If you want your own ISBN then buy a block of ten from Bowaker. Just FYI. Once you get around the pessimistic attitude for fellow writers and the bravado of the authors purported sales figures, there are some food for thought which is the reason I gave the effort a four star
(review of free book)

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