I Am Jesus

Rated 3.89/5 based on 18 reviews
I am very disappointed about the Bible depicting me as a publicity hound and showoff. I also have some things to say to all the people that made me look like an idiot God. The hundreds of the writers who wrote the books of the Bible were liars writing tall tales of a man they never met. Death and misery will follow these believers of the tall tales. This is my real story based on actual history.

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Words: 1,280
Language: English
ISBN: 9781458173386
About Daniel Whittman

My favorite authors are Steven Koontz and Lee Child thus most of my main characters are as decent as Jack Reacher and as powerful as most of the evil spirits in Koontz's novels. Every one of my novels is a wild ride into a gripping and satisfying adventure. Do yourself a favor. Read one and tell your friends about it.

Perhaps readers have overlooked my completed children's novel titled, Astonishing Nina. It is an amazing adventure for any child or adult. My favorite novels are good enough for me to read again and again, unlike the vast majority of other books I have read. My novels are exciting, fast paced, satisfying and hours of fun.

The following is a silly little poem for you:

The Vampire
The vampire was in the hospital with white pasty skin.
While the priest was giving him the last rites, he planned to sin.
“Closer,” mumbled the cursed specimen named Fudd.
The priest leaned closer and gave up all of his tainted blood.

Fudd jumped off the bed quickly over the cold, dead sinful man.
Dancing a jig the jubilant vampire was almost tan.
With the priest’s shoes, porn, socks, underwear, cross and white collar
He administered to the flock before they could holler

I have been diagnosed with ALS disease. It is a fatal fast acting disease. It has been a miserable 24 months since the onset.

Also by This Author


Review by: William McHale on March 03, 2010 :
To properly address the multitude of errors in this text would require a text far longer than the original text itself. This work is simply a pastiche of the half formed ideas of many who would not merely deny Jesus's divinity but his actual historical existence (Denying that Jesus existed as an historical person is actually something of a fringe position amongst historians, even amongst historians who are not Christians or who are atheists).

Lets look at some of the errors, or at least some poorly written passages. The Notzrim did not begin with Yeshu Ha Notzri, but rather had existed for centuries before he did. Further most scholars would dispute that this Yeshu was the same as Yeshua that became the biblical Jesus.

The writer doesn't seem to understand the doctrine of the virgin birth at all since he seems to equate the virgin birth with Jesus being the virgin.

He clearly doesn't have a clue of Church history as it applies to the Bible. In short I will summarize.

1. The printing press preceded the King James Bible by more than a century. The Catholic Church had plenty of time to provide an English Translation.

2. The Catholic Church, and certainly the Popes never embraced or assented to the King James Version of the Bible.

3. The King James Version, being an English Translation had very little impact outside the English speaking world. Despite the desires of some American Protestants, the translation is not even embraced by most of the world's protestants let alone Catholics or the Orthodox.

Ultimately the fact that the author shows incredibly little understanding of history and an inability to do even the most basic research undermines what tiny merit that might exist in this work. Clearly those who have given it five stars clearly either don't know any history, or hate Christianity or are friends of the author.
(review of free book)

Review by: Micah Teodoro on Feb. 05, 2010 :
I had to read this again to fix the main points in my mind. The lies about Jesus are everywhere. This is one of the sanest and best treatments of Jesus as well affirming God is tremendously better than the man made bible portrays Him.
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Review by: James Gilbert on Feb. 03, 2010 :
Some things get better the more you read them. This is one of them. It is clever, funny and true. The doubters are closed minded sad cases.
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Review by: Jennifer Anderson on Feb. 03, 2010 :
I read this three times I liked it so much. The fiction in the bibles of the world boils down to what this says.
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Review by: Benjamin Brown on Feb. 02, 2010 :
This proves that a short piece can have an incredible punch. A new book just came out covering much the same thing in many more words and for several dollars. This piece is the first and best.
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Review by: Benjamin Brown on Feb. 02, 2010 :
This great piece answered some things I have always always wondered about. It is entertaining and very true from what I know. Great job!
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Review by: Rachel Lamprey on Feb. 01, 2010 :
I don't understand the people that didn't like this. I think it is terrific!
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Review by: Jennifer Anderson on Feb. 01, 2010 :
This is an astounding bit of literature. It answers a lot I was troubled about.
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Review by: Patricia Williamson on Jan. 31, 2010 :
This is a powerful, extremely moving real look at Jesus. Obviously this piece from Jesus answers the troubling, contradictory and mythology of the man made Bible. Well done!
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Review by: James Gilbert on Jan. 28, 2010 :
This is an excellent short piece that is amazing. The link Mr. Whittman provided backs up everything in this writing. Great job!
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Review by: Edward Rupert on Jan. 28, 2010 :
Long ago I had a lot of trouble with the Bible. Now I know who really created the Bible and why. God triumphs over "Apostle" Paul and all the tall tales writers of Jesus in and out of the Bible with this great piece. Thanks for having the guts to clear up the bullshit about Jesus!
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Review by: Micah Teodoro on Jan. 24, 2010 :
This was just what I was looking for. The Bible is contradictory and confusing. This explains a lot. You might know the worst of human nature blasphemed God in the Bible for their own selfish purposes. The 10% tithe is another example of the greedy people not in God's service. Exactly right!
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Review by: Kiyoshi Kimura on Jan. 21, 2010 :
How does Mr. Whittman claim to be serious? I do not know. What is this about "the Greek Church administered by Jews" in BC88? This is complete rubbish.

And his lack of knowledge of the history of James and his relationship with the Catholic church is amazing.

Why does he bother writing and putting this stuff out? I do not know.
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Review by: Antonina Elacion on Jan. 21, 2010 :
The more I think about it, I like this better.
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Review by: Antonina Elacion on Jan. 21, 2010 :
I have been a Christian all my life. This was a test of faith. It was well written and could very well be true. The link he provided backed up completely what he said.
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Review by: ardee on Jan. 16, 2010 :
Yeah, it's rubbish but I've given it 2 stars only because the author Daniel Whitman, speaks with Jesus's voice yet recommends a book by, um, Daniel Whitman to give people the only REAL way to life everlasting. 2 stars for audacity only. I admit my bias, I am an atheist, but I had to read a 1k word essay entitled 'I am Jesus'. Mildly amusing if a parody, scary if genuine.
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Review by: j-views Publishing on Jan. 11, 2010 :
Since Mr. Whittman has taken the trouble to revise his book, probably at least in part as a result of my criticism, I feel honor-bound to revise my criticism.

I consider myself to be a reasonably talented author of alternate historical fiction, whereby the history described in the writing is one which has taken a different turn from that we all know. However, I think I have met my match in Mr. Whittman. His account of the Authorized King James Version of the Bible and surrounding events makes for very entertaining reading, and is an interesting variation on history as we know it.

Likewise, his revised account of Saul of Tarsus gives some interesting twists to known historical facts, and makes for a different (if somewhat unoriginal) timeline.

Congratulations to Mr. Whittman on his success in this new genre of alternate history. Now, if he could only cut out the trite philosophizing...

What's that? He's serious? You mean he believes that pseudo-historical nonsense he wrote about the KJV Bible? Well if he does, why doesn't he quote his sources? No, it's fiction. Got to be.
(review of free book)

Review by: j-views Publishing on Jan. 10, 2010 :
I've given this piece of writing one star, because to give it none would imply that I hadn't bothered to flag it.

Quite apart from the absurdity and arrogance of the writer's claim that he is the only one to tell "the complete truth about life and the hereafter" in one of his other pieces of writing, he manages to cram more factual errors into 762 words than I would have believed possible.

For example, he makes a mistake in the name and title of the man who was responsible for the translation work that resulted in the Authorized King James Version of the Bible, and claims that James was responsible for assembling the authorized corpus of the Bible (ignoring the previous 1200 years of history). Not only that, but he gets James's religion wrong as well (a mistake you would hardly credit in someone who is writing about religion). He gets the date of the Roman occupation of Judea wrong, differs from all other authorities on the date of the conversion of Saul of Tarsus, and ignores several sources that he claims do not exist (Josephus, Midrash, etc.).

Whether or not you agree with Mr. Whittman's conclusions, such as "Charity is not practical. God helps those who deserve it," he makes a very poor case indeed for his lack of belief in a historical Jesus.
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