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Jalex Hansen has an affinity for creating stories of rebellion, challenges and self-discovery. She believes that, in a perfect world, everyone would have a voice and writing would be the ultimate weapon. Jalex has been known to engage in lightsaber fights and airsoft wars. She is inspired by strong women, unsung heroes, and large amounts of ice cream. Sometimes she writes.
on Oct. 18, 2011 :
Very good work, as Porretto noted, your work is good enough to deserve an editor. While I don't notice a lot of the grammatical mistakes, it could use some work.
Other then that, I think a little more backstory and detail could help the story out (Angine, how do children manage to get so much food and water to survive in sewers, building jumping seems a bit questionable as a form of travel for a bunch of untrained teanagers), it requires a suspension of disbelief now and then to make the story readable. But it is excellent work.
4 stars because I love it, but think it could be improved.
(reviewed 20 days after purchase)
on Sep. 25, 2011 :
The Lux story is truly chilling. I got major goosebumps at some parts. I read the first book and was amazed. And the second one did not disappoint; it lived up to the first. I am eager to read the next one. These books really torture me at the end. I just want to keep reading! I would recommend this book to anyone.
(reviewed 21 days after purchase)
Francis W. Porretto
on Sep. 10, 2011 :
Miss Hansen, this is INFURIATING!
You've got a good story going, especially for a young-adult audience. Your characterizations are coming along just as well as in the first segment. But there are just too many avoidable mistakes, most particularly in spelling and punctuation, but also in low-level grammar that you really should get right!
You need an editor. You DESERVE an editor. Your stuff has immense promise, but its mechanical flaws detract from it unnecessarily.
My only other criticism of substance is that Angine's stature, particularly his political elevation, remains insufficiently explained. He works adequately well as a villain, but his position in the story is not adequately grounded. I feel certain you thought about the backstory to the Lux saga before you set out on it; why not allow a little more of that groundwork to show?
This segment deserves three and a half stars, but I'm rounding up.
(reviewed 5 days after purchase)
on Sep. 09, 2011 :
The 2nd part of this story was as good as the first. Some pretty good cliffhangers here and looking forward to the next installment.
(reviewed 4 days after purchase)