“What’s happened this time, Martin?”, Fionna asked in an exasperated voice. “I don’t know why I’m bothering to ask, since we aren’t even friends anymore…”
“But there isn’t anyone else, Finny! They’re all on assignment, or vacation, or something! And I really do need to talk to someone…”, Martin begged.
Fionna heaved an ungracious sigh and gave in. “Alright, Martin, but make it quick. I was in the middle of something important when you called.”
“I knew you’d listen, Finny! Well, there’s really no good way to put this, so…Vanessa’s divorced me. Moved out of our apartment, lock, stock and barrel! The papers were tacked to the front door when I got home, with a note attached saying all I had to do was sign on the dotted line! She had it planned for months, Finny! What am I going to do now?”, he wailed miserably.
Fionna sighed and replied, “Surely, Martin, you can’t say you didn’t see it coming, but I do have a piece of advice for you.” She was fast getting angry with the man. “Quit sniveling, stand on your own two feet, and be a man! You’re thirty-five years old, for God’s sake! I’m not your mama! I’m not even your casual date anymore! Why, in heaven’s name, would you think that your snob of a wife leaving you could possibly be of any interest to me? And while we’re on the subject… just where do you keep coming up with my phone number? I’ve had it changed six times in the last fifteen months-but, somehow, you always find it out!” She was warmed up now, and starting to enjoy herself. This little scene had been building up inside her for a long time. “This time, I’m having it unlisted, and if you try to find me again, I’ll press charges against you for harassment!” She started to hang up the phone, but remembered something else she’d been wanting to say to him, “And another thing… DON’T CALL ME FINNY!!”, she yelled into the receiver, just before slamming it down into it’s cradle. “Humph!”, she snorted, with an altogether satisfied smirk on her face, “That settles that… once and for all!” Fionna dusted her hands together in contented fulfillment.