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Royce O’Rourke – Realtor!

Robert H. Eltzholtz

Copyright 2010 Robert H. Eltzholtz. Cover design by Colin Moore. All rights reserved.

Smashwords Edition

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the writer's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without prior permission from the copyright holder.

ISBN: 978-0-9826783-1-2

Chapter 1

Royce O'Rourke, Realtor. That's me, was me, still is me, really. Welcome to my open house. It's a beauty, right smack in the Catalina Foothills, among the best Tucson has to offer. The best. That's what I'm all about. Me, Royce O'Rourke, soon to be a member of the Billion Dollar Brotherhood.

I'm not some middle-aged housewife. Decides she wants a career. Gets a real estate license, joins the NAR, and starts selling houses. Says stuff like “You snooze, you lose.” Brandishes her cell phone like a mobile twat. I'm not that. I started first thing. My mom taught me. She was a realtor too, but came to it after my father died. Not like me. I was born to it.

I've done really well. I have a great house in the best location, and I have a wife and a son and a daughter. They love me.

They do! Oops. No exclamation marks here.

You. You know why you are reading this. Don't you? I'll make it clear. I promise. And I keep my promises. A promise is like a contract to me – a covenant – no. I won't use dashes either.

I also promise to be honest here, as I take you through all the rooms, all the nooks and crannies of this house, just as I was taken, that strange, zombie-filled night by.... No. I'm getting way ahead of myself, and I allow ellipses.

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