THE RONG STUFF
Copyright © 1986 by Gary O. Heller
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To those special individuals in military aviation circles who possess the "rong stuff," as opposed to the right stuff Contents
At a small midwestern church college, affectionately referred to as East Jesus State by the dissident students who had accumulated the most chapel cuts, Roy L. Hemorrhoid made up his mind that he would join the air force as soon as possible after graduation, as an officer and pilot, to serve in Vietnam. Although he had already completed his military obligation prior to the Vietnam War, as an enlisted man, he had had a bellyful of talk around campus about draft dodging by those wimps who were enrolling in seminary as well as pulling other cowardly tricks. He also was sick of all the longhaired creeps at college campuses across the country who were antiwar proponents. After all, any fight against communism seemed a worthy fight. He would take up the slack of the cowards and fight like a hundred men.
Roy realized that he could also fulfill a childhood dream of being an air force pilot at the same time he served in the Vietnam War. He immediately contacted a local air force recruiter to arrange for the testing necessary to enter flight training.
During the initial interview, the recruiter told Roy that he could have a bachelor's degree in any subject except Bible or religion to qualify for flight training. Roy thought this was somewhat unusual and queried the recruiter, out of curiosity, as to why a religious degree would not be allowed. The recruiter explained that "such a background would cause difficulties for someone assigned to drop bombs on an enemy village or other people-related targets. But much more important than being squeamish about dropping napalm bombs on the enemy would be the outside chance that someday you might be called before the Congress of the United States to testify about military affairs or defense spending and you might have a problem stretching the truth."