Ninjas of the 512
A Texas-Sized Satire
by Laura Roberts
Copyright 2012 Laura Roberts
Cover image designed by PixelStudio
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“You may all go to hell and I will go to Texas.”
--David “Davy” Crockett, disillusioned politician
It was just another 105-degree Tuesday morning in Austin, Texas for Suzie Jimenez. Around 10 o'clock in the morning, the radio was already announcing the 27th straight day of 100+ degree weather for the capital city, hollering about margarita specials at an assortment of local bars and the importance of keeping your air-conditioning set at an absurd 80 degrees to prevent rolling blackouts. Seated at her computer, sipping a cold-pressed coffee and listening to the purr of the ceiling fan (as well as the whir of the smaller electric fan trained directly at her face), Suzie was busy prepping for another back-to-school season at Rebel Yell High School. As the fans cooled her face, she searched the internet, trying to find out whether the Texas School Board had recently changed History yet again by removing such “un-American” characters as César Chávez from the curriculum. She was poring over the latest news in her RSS feeds, wondering how she could shoehorn a few new exercises in public dissent into her yearly agenda, when there was a loud Ping! from her inbox.