THE ABSOLUTELY BORING LIFE OF MYA.
By: Dora Achieng Okeyo
Smashwords Edition, 2012.
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Dear Bored person,
Well that makes two of us. You must be so bored that you had to read about my life!
forget that first line
name is Mya. I am some 22 year old girl who looks like she has
everything going for her but deep down I swear I am a mystery. At
times I look at myself in the mirror and say “Gosh! You are weird!”
So now you know three things about me: my name, age and status. I am
Mya, 22 years old and completely boring! So, what else? I love
reading books. I drink loads of soda too. In fact I like it that they
tell you nowadays how many calories you are consuming. I love taking
Fanta Pineapple! Isn’t it odd that when you drink the 500ml soda
they only tell you how many calories you consume for half of that? It
is boldly written “124 calories per 250ml”, now isn’t that
downright wrong? They should say “248 calories in this!” My
friends do not take soda as I do because they fear they will grow
fat. I look at them and think Africans! You are to have some fat! I
always tell them that the origin of skinny lies in Barbie doll and
she’s white! The first black Barbie doll was unleashed in 1998.
That was after White Barbie had sold more than expected from the
sixties! So I drink soda and other than that I am collector. I do not
collect stamps or pictures, gosh those are too common! Well, I wish I
did at times because then it would be better…but I collect quotes.
Yes, I collect quotes and always have something to say about them. I
rate the quotes and share them with my friends. So who are these
friends who do not want to gain weight? Well, there’s Lucy and
Diana. I prefer to call them “L” and “D” hope you can catch
up! So, L has this thing going on for her-she is DDG- drop dead
gorgeous. She is also smart and is studying Accounts. D on the other
hand, is sarcastic and quick with her feet. She has a black belt in
karate and is always ready to fight. She is doing Communications. We
have been friends for over ten years and they know am crazy. Well,
not crazy really but they think am funny which I do not understand.
My life is just plain! Yeah…wait another thing I love listening to
music. I cannot listen to anything soulful or reggae, so scratch
those too. Hope you are awesome and simply dozing off by now because
there’s more of this boring stuff coming right up!